“Nonsense,” she grumbles weakly with little vigor. “Now tell me about your new classes and students. Any bright ones that will provide you a challenge this year?”
My stomach tightens instinctively, lightning coursing through my blood as the image of Kyler pops into my mind. Although to be fair, he’s been there all weekend, even more so after the illicit conversation, I had with him last night. The heat of my flushed face burns like fire and I nearly stutter out the words.
“Oh yes, there are quite a few students who are particularly curious and have good heads on their shoulders.”
One in particular who has my head in jumbles.
“Ah, of course there are. I’m absolutely certain they are thrilled to have such a dedicated and scholarly professor to educate them on their chosen subject matter.” She emphasizes the last two words to indicate her irritation that still lies at the top of her frustration over my chosen profession.
My grandmum was indeed not happy when I chose the path I did. Wanting me to inherit the business and take the helm of the international company that had been passed on for three generations, she was flabbergasted when I chose not to. Our disagreement —which we finally agreed would never be resolved — was finally put to bed, although it will rear its ugly head every so often through the small digs she gets in here and there.
It’s rather laughable but I suppose endearing. She is who she is and I still love her and vice versa.
“Teaching is a very rewarding role and most often I find that I’m the one who has been educated by those I’m paid to educate.”
“Well, dear boy, don’t allow that to interfere with your social life. I know you, you’re just like your grandfather, always with your head in the books and not on the people around you.” She lets out an exaggerated sigh as if it still bothers her ten years after his death. “I would just like to see you dating again, even if it means using those god-awful dating apps. Although, I have heard horror stories about those dreadful sites, about people being carped?”
I snort, wondering if she really knows anything about dating apps – aka hookup central – and the misuse of the word.
“I think you mean catfished. It’s a thing.”
She huffs indignantly. “Well, whatever. I think you should consider getting out there again and meet someone new. You’re not getting any younger and you must be ready to move on now from Daniella.”
Until this summer after I met and hooked up with Kyler, no one had interested me in the slightest and I had no desire to date. Truthfully, I’d been over Daniella well before that, but Grandmum doesn’t have to know that. She also doesn’t have to know that it’s hard for me to want to date someone when my interest lies somewhere else. Which for me has been my unrequited love of Garrett.
Yet, now I’m trapped between a rock and a hard place. Unable to date the man I’ve found stirs my blood in a way no one else has before because he’s my student and has said he doesn’t want a relationship or anything serious. And neither did I.
Except, after last night, I’ve concluded that Kyler’s words and actions are not in sync. He says he doesn’t want anything with me, but he’s the one that continued our conversation, even when it changed direction and became very, very explicit.
Regardless of the attraction and pull we feel, the circumstances dictate that we can’t take it any further than it’s already gone. Do I feel guilty for the inappropriateness of our texts and subsequent conversation? Yes.
Rationally, I know that our conversation crossed the line.
And yet, I wouldn’t change a thing about last night.
Talking to Kyler was not only titillating and the most excitement I’d had in months, but it also refocused my energies on someone else other than my longtime unreturned feelings toward Garrett. A man I can never have.
But am I just exchanging one for another? I seem to fall for unavailable men and the ones I can never have.
“You can’t rush love, isn’t that what you’ve always told me, Grandmum?” I add in for good measure, hoping she’ll realize that I’m not at the same place she wants me to be in my love life.
She harrumphs with an annoying huff. “Too true. But remember, Lucas, I’m not getting any younger, either. And since you’ve chosen to walk away from managing my businesses, I want to ensure you’re settled before you receive any of your inheritance. In fact, I’ve met with my attorneys recently after that little heart spell I had and reworked my will.”
Something twists in my stomach. A knot of unease and dread. It’s not that I need, or even want, any of her millions of dollars or investments or properties, but the fact that she may have changed things to spite my choices is a bit vengeful. I swallow thickly.
“What did you do, Grandmum?”
She coughs delicately. “I want to see you married before I pass. Therefore, I’m giving you until the end of next year. That should give you plenty of time to find someone who piques your interest, and maybe even someone you love.”
Jesus H. Christ.
This woman is out to torture me and knows exactly just how tightly to twist that vice.
12
Kyler
“Fuck!” I shout loudly, leaning over to check the time on my phone to see that I’m running thirty minutes late for class, having overslept because my alarm didn’t go off.
Or rather, I may have inadvertently forgotten to set it after getting home at three a.m. after a late shift at the bar last night.
Regardless, I’m in a shitty mood knowing I’m going to be late for Lucas’s class. That is if I can even get my ass out of the door at all.
I use the restroom, running a hand through my bedhead hair, brush my teeth, and splash some cold water on my face before throwing on a pair of shorts, a T-shirt, and some slides. Grabbing my bag that sits on the floor near my desk, I confirm my laptop is there and out to the kitchen to feed Pussy Cat. I find Peyton hunched over her laptop at the table working on a paper that’s due in one of her classes today.
She gives me a cursory glance, returns her attention back to her laptop, but then her head pops up again with her eyes blown wide.
“Are you going to class looking like that?” She flips her hand in the air, gesturing at my appearance.
Closing the lid on the cat food box, I reach in the fridge for a bottled water and shove it in the open sleeve of my bag.
I nod. “Yeah, I’m in a hurry.”
Peyton tips her head and purses her lips. “Okay then…but you might want to turn your shirt around. It’s inside out and backwards.”
Looking down at my chest I see she’s right and curse out a loud exasperated grunt. “Goddammit.”
I maneuver the shirt over my head to the correct direction and pick up the bag I’d tossed on the floor, and stride toward the door.
“What would I do without you, Pey-Pey?” I ask, a very rhetorical question, as I blow her a kiss and open the front door. “Have a good day, babes.”
Rhetorical or not, she feels compelled to shout out her reply as the door closes behind me. “Good thing you have me in your life!”
At least she gave me a laugh this morning, despite my tired and crappy mood. I know this schedule is going to take me time to adjust to, but I’m frustrated with myself for falling behind so easily. I’m usually good at managing my time, and typically run on very little sleep, easily compartmentalizing my school, social life and work life without any issues.