I hesitated, but finally nodded. I needed to face facts. Nora wouldn’t be up for taking care of Penny tonight if her allergic reaction had been so bad that paramedics were called, and Georgia clearly wasn’t up for the challenge. That left me either waiting for Smith or calling Edward. I looked down at Penny’s content face, her big blue eyes staring up at me with wonder and realized Georgia was right. I would never do anything to hurt my child. Whatever happened that day on the ice, it had to have an explanation. Looking at Penny, I knew that I would die for her if necessary.
As soon as Georgia left, Penny began turning her head side to side, and my heart sank. She wanted to nurse. I took a deep breath and whispered to her, “We can try. But let’s not get our hopes up.”
Carrying her to the glider, I settled down with her. Someone had lit a fire in the hearth, and its flickering flames made the spot feel even cozier. To my surprise, she latched easily. I waited for the crying to start, watching for signs of frustration, but she only curled a tiny hand around the swell of my breast and sucked happily. Smith strode into the room and stopped short when he saw us like this. I braced for a lecture about being alone with the baby. Instead, his rigid shoulders relaxed.
“How is Nora?” I asked.
“She’s going to be fine. The paramedics said she needs to get an EpiPen to keep up with her. Apparently she’s never had a reaction this bad before.” He took a hesitant step forward, his eyes raking over the two of us. “How are you?”
Part of me didn’t want to jinx it, so I simply shrugged. “I don’t know if she’s getting anything or not.”
“She doesn’t seem angry. That seems like a good sign.”
I thought so, too. Maybe she’d had a recent bottle and didn’t need my milk as much. Regardless, it felt right to have her in my arms.
“What is Nora allergic to?” I asked absently.
“Nuts,” he said in a measured tone. “Did you know she had an allergy?”
I searched my brain for any memory of her telling me. Finally, I shook my head. “No. She probably should’ve told us.”
“Mrs. Winters is on a tear,” he warned me. “I think she feels responsible. She gave her a Christmas cake with walnuts in it. Nora didn’t realize.”
“You think she’d be more careful,” I said wondering how Nora could let something like that go without mentioning.
“That’s just it.” Smith paced over to the fireplace to stoke the logs. A blast of sparks shot up from the wood and the fire roared more strongly. “She said she mentioned it to you. Apparently, it was also on her application.”
I stared at his profile, wishing I could see his face fully. The fire cast shadows on it now that made me shiver. “I don’t remember seeing that at all.”
“You have a lot going on. Now we know, and nothing terrible happened.”
He was handling me again. Nora had told me, and I’d forgotten to warn Mrs. Winters. Both would trust me a little less now, and I’d have very little of their trust to begin with.
“Are you sure about that?” I asked softly, guilt taking hold of me again. “Because if medical help was sent for—”
“Don’t blame yourself for this. I’m just as responsible for not knowing as you,” he pointed out. “Like you said, now we know.”
I bobbed my head, trying to believe him. He made a good argument. Then again, he was a lawyer. Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling of once more failing in my responsibilities. I left Nora with my baby, trusting her to be able to care for my helpless infant and yet, I hadn’t done enough to protect the nanny.
“I’m going through all the employee files tomorrow,” I decided. “I won’t let this happen again.” It was one thing to be sorry, it was another thing to do something about it.
“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Smith said so swiftly that I raised an eyebrow. “I just mean that I can do that. You have your hands full.”
“Alright,” I agreed. I hesitated a moment, before adding, “Smith, stay close by tonight.” I wanted to believe that I had all of this under control, but I wouldn’t risk Penny’s welfare again. I had to put her needs above my pride.
“Wild horses,” he said, signaling that he understood. He sank into the other chair, and I looked over at him. He ditched his suit jacket somewhere along with his tie. As he settled, he reached up and unfastened his top button. His cufflinks followed. He was tired, but his evening stubble had grown darker, and I found myself thinking of how good it felt when it scratched along my inner thigh. He tossed the cufflinks on the chair side table, watching me with a burning intensity that reminded me that less than an hour ago we’d been pulled over on the snowy side of the road, promising each other forever the best way we knew how. A crooked smile hooked his mouth as if he was thinking the same thing, and, for just a moment, we were the couple cut from the catalog. Wife and husband, mother, father, and the precious gifts our love had given us. We had the world in this room. For just a moment, everything was perfect.
“Why don’t you take a break?” Smith asked, leaning down to take Penny from me. She’d been sleeping peacefully for the last hour, and I wasn’t certain I wanted to give her up just yet. I wanted to soak up these peaceful moments with her before returning to the chaos of the real world. That said, I needed a glass of water and a trip to the loo. Plus, there was nothing sexier than seeing Smith with Penny.
She started a little as he lifted her into his arm, and he hushed her softly, rocking her back and forth as I rose from the glider and stretched. He took the seat I’d vacated, his eyes never leaving his sleeping bundle. There was none of the cocky arrogance I’d first fallen in love with when he held her, there was only a hushed reverence bordering on worshipfulness that made me fall in love with him all over again.
The rest of the house was quiet when I headed toward the kitchen. Edward hadn’t come in from the party as far as I knew. I was going to have to ask him how things went with Tomas in the morning. Given that I’d left him with Jane, there was no telling how much trouble he’d gotten into. I flipped on the kitchen lights and turned, nearly jumping out of my skin when I found Mrs. Winters sitting at the table.
“You scared me,” I said. Had she been sitting alone in the dark? I studied her for a moment. Her eyes were red-rimmed and she was clutching a mug tightly in her white-knuckled grip.
“Seems fair, given how much your oversight scared me,” she said in a cold voice.
“I didn’t know that Nora…“ I trailed away, torn between feeling surprised by her reaction and feeling guilty because I knew she was somewhat right.
“Can I get you something, ma’am?” she asked dutifully, pushing her chair back. Its legs scraped across the floor more loudly in the sleeping house.
“I’m just getting a glass of water,” I said, heading over to the cabinets. I took a glass down and filled it. Drinking it in silence, I considered how to make this right for her.
“I must have overlooked the information in her application,” I said for Mrs. Winters’s benefit. “There was so much happening with the remodel and the baby. Smith and I are going to go through all of the employee files and make sure nothing like this ever happens again.”