“I do. We found him.” Jake waited, seeming to hold his breath.
Dallas smiled, seeing Jake shiver. Now that was power.
Chapter 4
ASHTON SAT in his chair, staring the fire, with his feet up. “What are you planning to do?” he asked Reg as he passed through the room in his winter gear.
“I have the basic plan I want to use—I left it on your desk for you to take a look at. Check it over before Brent and Fillip get here in the morning. I rested for a few hours, so I’m going out to check the perimeter. I have my phone, and I’ll text if I need any backup.” He stalked to the chair as Ashton lowered his legs. “Don’t you even think of going out with me. Your leg is aching. I can tell, and so can Ben.” He smirked. “I think he likes you.”
“I thought you didn’t want to hear about any gay stuff,” Ashton said softly, since Ben was asleep on the sofa, surrounded by half the pups, with the others on the floor nearby.
Reg half snorted. “That’s not gay stuff, it’s heart stuff. The gay stuff is… well… anything else.” He left and closed the front door behind him.
Ashton sighed and settled back in his chair. He was damned lucky in a lot of ways. Of course, he’d be even luckier if the man sleeping on his sofa—with a body Ashton wanted the chance to get to know much better—decided to move into Ashton’s bed. But that was strictly wishful thinking.
Ben moved his legs, and the dogs shifted. Then he did it again, and two of them jumped down when Ben began kicking in earnest. He bolted upright, gasping and looking around. “Oh God, sorry, I….”
“It’s okay. There are times when I do that too.” Ashton didn’t want to talk about his dreams. He’d found out long ago that talking about them didn’t help, especially the ones filled with bodies and rivers of death. Ashton still had the nightmares, but he’d kept them to himself since he’d discovered he tended to disturb the people he told about them. “It was only a dream. You’re as safe as you can be.” He slowly got up and shifted over to perch on the edge of the sofa. “You can talk about it if you want.” Ashton gently rubbed Ben’s arm to soothe him. There had been many times when he’d wished someone had been there to help him understand that he would be okay. Mostly he had endured the aftereffects of what he’d seen alone.
“Do they go away?” Ben asked.
Ashton shrugged. “I wish to hell I knew. Sometimes they come less frequently, and over time, for me, the intensity has decreased. Some people say they never stop. But I keep telling myself that they are just dreams.” He picked up Celeste, a terrier mix, and placed her next to Ben. “These guys help a lot. They don’t care about what we’ve seen and done, and they give unconditional love and acceptance.” Many times the dogs had been his only link to reality and the hope that things would indeed get better.
Ben held Celeste, stroking her back, his gaze lingering on Ashton. Ben swallowed, and Ashton watched his throat work, that little bump rising and falling. Damn it all, he wished he knew what Ben wanted. And then he told himself, fuck it.
Ashton leaned closer, sliding his hand around the back of Ben’s neck. He didn’t want to press and was prepared to stop if Ben resisted, but he came right along with him, drawing nearer. Celeste jumped down, and Ashton barely registered the movement. Ben’s breath caressed Ashton’s lips, and their gazes met in a blaze of banked heat that flared to life as soon as their lips touched.
Ben parted his lips, and Ashton drew closer, pressing deeper, pushing Ben back into the cushions. The kisses grew more and more heated, until Ashton had to pull back or risk being carried away past the point of no return.
He swallowed hard, watching Ben’s tongue glide over his just-kissed lips. Ben’s savory sweetness was still on Ashton’s, and he ran his tongue over them just to get the last lingering taste of Ben from them. God, he was so screwed. Ashton had known Ben a matter of a few days and already he had wishes and longings he knew were a terrible idea. He needed to put some distance between them or else he was going to find himself on a fast horse heading where he shouldn’t be going.
“I think I’m going to go to bed.” He straightened up, inhaling deeply, desperate to clear the Ben-induced fog that had settled over his mind.
“Oh,” Ben whispered as he sat up, untangling his legs from the blankets. “Umm….”
“Look, I’m sorry. I got a little carried away.” Ashton tried to get to his feet, but his leg seemed weak, and he couldn’t move as quickly as he wanted to.
“Don’t you dare,” Ben snapped, his eyes suddenly ablaze with something other than passion. Then he pressed forward, capturing Ashton’s lips in a kiss of his own before backing away. “You don’t get to play games with me. No one does anymore. If you want to keep kissing me, then you better fucking do it.” His gaze challenged Ashton to argue with him. “Either you wanted that kiss or you didn’t. None of this ‘I’m sorry’ shit, okay?”
Ashton smiled. “Okay. I wanted it. I have since I found you sleeping in the damned barn. Is that what you want me to say?”
“As long as it’s honest,” Ben said. He held Ashton’s gaze.
“I wanted it,” he said. “But maybe I shouldn’t.” This was most likely one of the best worst ideas he had ever had, but still, he drew Ben into another kiss, wrapping him in his arms, holding him tight as their tongues dueled. Damn, he wanted to hold him and never let him go.
“See, this is the gay stuff I was talking about,” Reg said from behind him.
“It’s a gay house. Get used to it,” Ashton quipped as he straightened up and then got his legs where they needed to be before slowly standing. “Did you find anything?”
“Well, I’m not sure. There were some trails in the snow, but they weren’t fresh. I was going to get some coffee and head over to the other area of the ranch to check over there.”
“Thermoses are in the right upper cabinet, lower shelf. Call right away if you see anything,” Ashton told him. Reg promised he would before getting his coffee and leaving.
“Is he going out in that cold? Like, willingly?”
Ashton nodded. “Reg is one of those guys who don’t feel the cold, the heat, or much of anything really, when he’s on an assignment. It’s all about the job with him. That’s why I went into the security business with him. Reg is one of the most dedicated and loyal friends I have. There are few people other than him and the men on this ranch that I would trust my safety to.” He reached for his cane, which was resting next to the arm of his chair, leaning on it more heavily than he would have liked. “I’m going to go in to bed. Reg will call if he finds anything.”
“Okay,” Ben agreed.
Ashton turned off the lights, and Ben followed him down the hallway. He went into his bedroom and heard Ben in the bathroom.
Ashton sat on the edge of the bed, pulled off his shoes and socks, and wriggled his toes. Then he slipped out of his pants, ignoring the lines and scars on his skin. He reached into the nightstand and retrieved a scar cream, which he rubbed in to help keep the skin supple.