She lifted her arms and wrapped her hands around the slats of the headboard, leaving her body exposed to his intense gaze. Her tits bounced, her hips meeting his with each thrust. Landon’s control slipped a little further. Where their bodies joined, the heat burned like an inferno. A deep wave of lust uncurled, boiling in his blood, threatening to pull him under.
“I’m going to—” She broke off and cried out incoherently, her hands white-knuckled around the slats.
Landon filled her with one last stroke and stilled. The tingles in his spine flashed hot, and he fell headlong into an orgasm so intense he didn’t think he’d ever stop coming.
And he was pretty sure he’d fried a few circuits in his brain.
He buried his face in her neck and inhaled the scent that was uniquely Iris. They were silent for several minutes, panting as though they'd run a marathon. When Landon tried to roll away from her, Iris protested. “Don’t move just yet.”
Landon pushed up on his elbows and looked down at her. They studied each other as his thumbs grazed her cheekbones. “I feel it too.”
She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand beside her face. Her eyes opened a moment later, a soft smile on her lips. “Hi.”
“Hi.” His voice didn’t sound like his own.
Landon’s gut told him once with Iris would never be enough.
6
Broken People
Iris came awake in stages. There was an unfamiliar warmth surrounding her she wanted to burrow into. Disoriented, she shifted and found a solid wall of muscle against her back. Her lips curved and she sighed.
Last night had been worth the wait. Her skin flushed when she thought about all the ways they’d made up for lost time. Landon had been everything she’d ever wanted in a lover. At times tender and loving, other times intense with a dark edginess that pushed her boundaries. She loved every minute of it.
She twisted around and faced him, palming one side of her head. God, he was gorgeous. All rugged planes and hard lines. The dark stubble gave him a dangerous edge, and the things he could do with that mouth? Her clit was still vibrating. He was sex on a stick and if he knew it, he never let on. She’d seen the looks women gave him last night. Landon Gray was six feet two of sin and she was the lucky bitch whose bed he was in.
She planned to keep him there for as long as she could.
His eyes fluttered open, sleep clouding his amber eyes for a moment. A slow smile touched his lips. “Morning.” That husky voice did nothing to douse the fire between her legs.
“Good morning.”
He rubbed a hand over his chin, a rasping sound against his palm. “What time is it?”
“Almost six.”
“Six? Huh. I’m usually already up.”
“So what you’re saying is you’re an early bird.”
“More like a never-sleep bird.” He closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them, they were troubled. “I don’t sleep more than four hours or so.”
“You slept like the dead last night.” She bit her lip, running a finger over his bare shoulder. “Must have been all that exercise.”
He chuckled and looked over at her. “Probably.”
“Did the doctors give you something for it?”
“Yeah, but I don’t take it.”
She frowned. “Why not?”
“I just don’t.” Landon shifted away and grabbed his jeans off the floor. She lifted up on her elbow, panic in her veins, as he pulled them on with jerky motions before stalking into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
What the hell had just happened? She looked around the room as if it held the answers to her questions. Several moments later, he came out and walked back to the bed, his gait slower this time.
“Iris…” The bed dipped when he lowered himself to it. “I’m sorry. I just…fuck,” he muttered under his breath, rubbing the back of his neck. His Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed before looking over at her, his eyes shadowed with pain. “In order to make you understand, I need to tell you what happened.”
“Okay.” She shifted and sat back against the headboard, pulling the sheet up over her nakedness.
He blew out a breath and began to tell her how his squad had been heading back to camp after a field exercise and had been ambushed. In the midst of it all, one of his men stepped on an IED, triggering an explosion, and it went downhill from there.
“I don’t remember much. I remember smoke, sand, heat, the smell of blood. Screaming. I rescued as many men as I could, but it wasn’t nearly enough. It should have been all of them.” He looked down and fisted his hand. “I woke up in a military hospital bandaged up like a mummy. Shrapnel had done a number on my leg.”
He looked over at her. “After they released me, I visited the graves of every man in my unit. I owed them that much. I hoped it would ease the guilt. But it eats at me every day like a cancer. I don’t want to sleep because every time I close my eyes, I relive it. It’s been nearly two years, and the nightmares are as fresh as the day it happened. Last night was the first night I didn’t wake up in a pool of sweat.”
Nothing she could say would make him feel better. So she stayed still, even though she wanted to cry and hug him. But she didn’t. “Give me space” vibes rolled off him in waves.
Landon looked away for a few moments, the muscle in his cheek ticking. Finally, he held out a hand. “Come here, beautiful.”
Iris took his hand and joined him on the edge of the bed, wrapped in the sheet. In one hand, he held hers, tracing the length of her fingers. They sat like that for a few moments before his stare met hers, his eyes full of love but clouded by sorrow.
“Iris, I love you. I’ve always loved you. And not just as a best friend. I love you in the make-you-my-wife, let’s-have-a-family, until-death-do-us-part kind of way. I don’t just love you, I’m in love with you. And I have been since I was old enough to know the difference.”
Joy leapt in her chest, but it was tempered by foreboding. Instinct told her he wasn’t done, and she wasn’t going to like it.
“But I’m not the same guy I was before. That guy, the old me, was capable of loving you the way you should be loved. The biggest mistake of my life was leaving and not telling you I loved you back when I had something to offer you.”
He looked down at their joined hands. “I quit writing because I wanted you to forget me.”
Iris scoffed. “Forget you? Lack of communication doesn’t wipe you from my memory.” With her free hand, she cupped his cheek. “I’m in love with you too, Landon. Always have been.”
He leaned his face into her palm and squeezed his eyes shut before pulling away. He paced the small bedroom, shaking his head. “No, Iris. You don’t really love me. You love who I was before.” He stopped and faced her, gesturing at himself. “This guy? You don’t want to love this. I’m too broken to offer you anything that resembles what you deserve. I can’t be that guy.”
“What guy is that exactly?”
“The guy that says the right things. Who doesn’t ignore the truth instead of facing it. Who doesn’t have to scan a room looking for threats. Who isn’t hard to love. The one who can protect you and be your hero.”