I glanced back over my shoulder at the jeep. Couldn’t push through the door without talking to Nicole, but I got to move this along. “I’m sorry to hear that. He was a good man, and the boys...” I shook my head.
“Life is a vale of tears,” she murmured.
Was she quoting the Bible? Irreverent, profane Nicole quoting scripture?
Not the time to wonder about that. “Listen, I need help. My bike hit an elk not two miles from here. I’m traveling with friends. My passenger was hurt. Can you give us a place to stay while she recovers?”
Nicole looked over my shoulder at the idling jeep. “Of course.” She held the door open and gestured for us to come in.
I ran back to the jeep and threw open the door. “Let’s go.” Sahdev turned off the engine and Kyle climbed out, followed by Hector. Sahdev and I transferred Mac to our jury-rigged sleeping bag stretcher and carefully carried her up the steps and into the cabin.
“Put her in the boys’ room,” Nicole said, opening the door to one of the three bedrooms. Kyle pulled back the quilt, and we gently settled Mac on one of the twin beds. She was pale and her skin felt cool and clammy beneath my touch.
“Kyle, will you get my bag, please?” Sahdev asked.
“Sure.” He dashed from the room.
Nicole hovered in the doorway. “Can I do anything to help?”
“I don’t have trauma shears to cut away Kenzie’s jeans. Do you have scissors?”
She disappeared, then returned a minute later carrying kitchen shears.
Sahdev took the scissors from her. “Thank you. Could you bring a basin of fresh water?” When Nicole fetched the water, he turned to me. “Ripper, I need you to help me.”
“Yeah.” I swallowed, looking down at Mac. The hot exhaust pipe had eaten a hole clean through the denim. Shreds of blackened fabric dotted the angry, red wound, a circle about an inch in diameter. Sahdev directed me to slice open the legs of her jeans, then he peeled the fabric back from the injury. While he tended to her burn, I scanned Mac’s legs. Mottled bruises covered both thighs, and her left knee was swollen. Sahdev covered the burn with sterile gauze, then turned his attention to the cut on her shoulder. I cut off her hoodie and tee. Sahdev cleaned and stitched the laceration. Mac didn’t wake up, staying unconscious through procedures that had to hurt. Maybe that was a blessing. Or a bad sign. Shit. I didn’t know.
Around her neck, Mac wore my dog tags and the platinum necklace I’d put together for her birthday. The birthday necklace had slid sideways to her shoulder, five platinum charms hanging from a circle pendant. Our initials, a moon, a sun, and a heart-shaped padlock, my way of telling Mac that I’d locked her down, that she was mine.
Mine, and I almost killed her.
“Need a minute,” I said, stalking to the front room. I dropped into a chair and scrubbed at my face with my hands.
“The accident wasn’t your fault. You know that, don’t you?” Kyle followed me into the room.
“Not my fault?” Couldn’t keep the bitterness out of my voice. “I almost T-boned a seven hundred pound animal at speed. Mac could’ve died.”
Kyle sat on a beat-up old sofa opposite me. “I saw the entire thing. The elk jumped onto the road right in front of you. You could’ve plowed into it broadside. You could’ve run off the road and smashed into a tree. Both of those things likely would have killed you. Yeah, you laid the bike down, and Kenzie got hurt. It sucks, but nobody died.”
“Yet,” I said. “Nobody died yet. You heard Sahdev. He has to watch her for a brain bleed or internal injuries. She’s not out of the woods.”
“It was an accident. Not your fault, man. And like my grandpa always said: Don’t borrow trouble. We’ll know soon enough if there are any complications.”
I barely heard him, my anger at myself crowding out everything else. “Jesus,” I hissed. “What the fuck was I thinking allowing her to ride without proper gear? She should have been wearing abrasion-resistant pants and a heavier jacket.”
“Oh, yeah?” Kyle leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Think about what you’re saying. When Kenzie woke up yesterday morning, you were still missing. We’d packed up the jeep, ready to take off if the fire jumped the river. It did. And we met up with you a block from the house. We met up and escaped the city by the skin of our teeth. Hours later, somebody blew up the dam and once again we’re running for our lives. Tell me, Ripper. When and where were you supposed to pick up abrasion resistant pants and a heavier jacket?”
Why was Country Club making excuses for me? Not too long ago, he saw me as a lowlife thug who’d led his ex astray.
“I should have looked for heavier gear for Mac as soon as she started to ride with me.” Regret lay like a heavy stone in my chest, choking me.
Kyle blew out a breath. “Coulda woulda shoulda. Can’t change the past. Kenz wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up like this. You should have seen her while you were missing. She brought your pillow over from your place. Slept in your tees. Did you know that when Portland started to burn, she refused to leave the city without you? The fire was practically on top of us before she agreed to go. Kenzie loves you. That was a hard truth for me to accept, but it is what it is. And I know she wouldn’t want you to blame yourself over things you can’t change.”
Did he say Mac loved me?
Kyle punched my arm. “So cut it out. Or at least wait and see if she takes a turn for the worse before you start beating yourself up.”
I met his eyes. “Aren’t you scared?”
“Shitless.” He shrugged. “Aw, hell, man. You know I still love her, but I know when I’m beat. I can’t believe that you guys survived the flu, the fire, and the flood just for Kenzie to die because an elk jumped onto the road. That can’t be part of any divine plan. She’s going to make it, and we’re all going to go to Valhalla.”
Who would have guessed that Kyle—a man I once dismissed as a pissy little bitch—would talk me down when I was spiraling into despair? I was the hard-ass, the cold bastard who did what was necessary, or so I thought, till Mac got under my skin.
I rose slowly to my feet, my bruised knees protesting, and extended a hand to Kyle. “Thanks.”
We shook hands.
“No problem. Now get back in there. Kenzie needs you.”
SIX
Kenzie
“Come back to me, Mac.”
Ripper’s voice pierced the shroud of darkness that pinned me down and held me immobile and unresponsive. Like a candle on a windowsill lighting the way home, like Polaris, pointing true north on my heart’s compass, Ripper’s voice called me back from oblivion.
I stirred, fighting to open my eyes. The narrow slit of light I spied widened as I forced my lids to open. Ripper’s face consolidated in front of me, haggard and hollow eyed. He smiled and touched my cheek. “There you are, darlin'.” Despite the smile, his expression was haunted, with lines of tension bracketing his mouth.
Here I am, I wanted to say, but my lips wouldn’t move.
My victory was short lived. His face wavered; the image distorted and faded. If he spoke, I’d lost the capacity to hear him.