Gavin asked me to spend the weekend with him, nothing held back. Anything he asked, anything I wanted. Those thirty-six hours were a time to experiment with all the things I’d wanted to try and only ever read about. I didn’t have much of a social life, and I was too busy for a committed relationship. It’s one reason I’d turned down Patrick after his numerous attempts to ask me out. That, and the fact, he was considerably older than me. I trained often for the ballet company, and I read to compensate for the lonely times. Romance novels filled with love and sex, so much sex, filled the empty spaces. As I trusted Gavin, despite the years between our first meeting, I knew he could give me what I wanted. He was still incredibly good-looking, physically fit, and just fun to be around. He’d be my experiment.
And the one thing I learned about myself was my heart wasn’t into casual hookup relationships. It hurt so much that he was gone again from my life. It hurt even worse nine months later.
From Gavin’s explanation, he left to get us coffee and returned to find the room empty of me. I didn’t think to leave him a note as I thought he was already gone.
“Why didn’t you leave a note that you went to get breakfast?” I blurt, still puzzled by his absence and his missing things.
“I wanted to surprise you. I just didn’t think about it.” His forehead furrows as his eyes narrow on the dark road before us. “I didn’t think you’d be gone when I returned.”
“Your things were missing,” I snark.
“I’d taken my bag down to the front desk for them to hold. I was hoping to spend the rest of the day with you. My flight didn’t leave until later.”
I guess I hadn’t remembered the fine details, and we hadn’t discussed anything beyond that hotel room. It hadn’t crossed my mind that we’d spend hours outside of a bedroom, and he didn’t have a place to put his bag while we did whatever he thought we’d do. Not able to respond, I remain quiet as we finish the walk.
“This is me.” I point at the overgrown shrubs and the narrow gravel drive leading toward the lake. The house is a small cottage, situated closer to the water. From the back, it’s nondescript, other than the faded yellow paint and sagging roofline. It’s the view on the other side that’s breathtaking.
“What happened to the garden?” Gavin asks, and I chuckle when I recall that Gertie had turned this portion of the yard into a virtual fairyland. It was stocked with an array of daisies, black-eyed Susans, and coneflowers at one time. Constantly in bloom, the butterflies loved the arrangement.
“As time passed and Gertie too, Leo couldn’t upkeep the flower beds. He didn’t have the energy.” Guilt washes over me. I hadn’t had the energy then, either. Gertie died shortly after Gee’s birth, but I didn’t have time for gardening as a new parent. Leo and Gertie offered me their home to stay in while I was pregnant, and I should have done more for them. They were everything to me.
“I’m sorry again about both of them,” Gavin states beside me. I reach for my bike, but he walks forward, helping himself to enter the drive as he guides the bike. My heart races once more as I don’t want Gavin near the house or the man in my life inside.
“Wow,” he exhales as we near the house, and he catches the view. The sun is still dropping off to the west, and a quiet calm covers the lake. It shimmers under the impending sunset. “I’ve forgotten how much I love this place.”
My house? This lake? The area? None of it matters as he doesn’t live here, and he didn’t love me. Not in the way I’d felt about him.
“Thank you for walking me home. I’ve got it from here. Have a good night, Gavin.” I reach out for the bike and walk it to the side of the house. We don’t have a garage, only a storage shed. The house itself needs so many improvements, but I don’t have the means. That unexpected tax bill has my finances pinned up for years.
“You know, you could make bank on this place,” Gavin teases, and I jump, not realizing he’s still behind me, standing on the edge of the property looking out at the lake.
“I don’t want to make bank,” I mock, and his attention turns to me. His hands have slipped into his pants pockets. His dress shirt is rolled to his elbows once again. It seems to be a signature look for him, and it’s strange compared to the tees and shorts of his teens. He’s so grown-up, but of course, he is. He’s thirty-eight, and we aren’t kids anymore.
As I focus back on the house, the place has too much sentimental value for me to sell despite the looming tax bill and the badgering of Sterling Realty.
“Why were you on this road?” Admittedly, finding Gavin standing in the middle of the street was like something out of a horror film. That moment a vehicle rounds the bend and the killer stands in the beam of headlights. Although Gavin is no killer, despite his heartbreaking ways, his model-worthy looks might make a victim beg him to be taken. I shake my head at the sadistic thoughts.
“I was at a party. My sister is your neighbor down the way.” His brows pinch as he stares at me as if he’s puzzled how his sister could be my neighbor. “I had no idea.”
“Why would you? You don’t visit.” I know a thing or two about Gavin Scott and his absence from his family. His nephew Holden is the same age as Gee. His sister often speaks enough of her brother’s lack of visits when I see her at school functions or baseball games. I also know about his mother. She has breast cancer. She’s a regular at TeasMe! when she’s feeling up to getting out of the house.
I once reminded Karyn of Gavin and of knowing one another when we were teens. She was in her twenties back then and married at the time. She didn’t recall meeting me, blowing it off as Gavin having so many girls in his life as a teen. I chuckled too, dismissing the hurt in my heart. He’d only had me that summer. At least, that’s what he told me, and he certainly spent enough time with me that I didn’t know how he’d fit someone else in his life. Informing her of our more recent encounter seemed inconsequential, so I never mentioned it.
As for Sarah Scott, his mother, she’d eye me like she knew my deepest secrets. I’d been in love with her son as a teen. My heart ached for him in my twenties. Now, I was thirty-six and stronger than those younger ages. Gavin would not get to me again.
“Why didn’t my sister ever mention you?” Gavin seems to wonder more to himself than to me, returning his gaze to the lake.
“Maybe because it doesn’t matter.” Gavin would have no reason to know I was here. He wouldn’t have cared anyway.
His neck twists, peering at me with piercing eyes. “You mattered to me,” he admits, surprising us both. The past tense in his statement does not go unheard, and I look away.
“What I mean is, why would she mention me to you?”
He ignores my question for his own. “How long have you lived here?” Gavin’s brows return to squeezing in question as if he’s still trying to solve a mystery.
“It’s been almost three years. I inherited the place when Leo died. We’d been coming here on summer weekends or week-long vacations most of Gee’s life.” Fondly, I recall the times spent here before Leo died, watching Gee grow to love this place as much as me. “When Patrick passed, I needed a change of scenery, and I thought it would be good for Gee.”