An awful thought occurred to him. Had she had sex with him out of some kind of sympathy? Was it her way of ministering to someone she perceived as part of her flock? Or was it gratitude for his help yesterday? Either idea left a bad taste in his mouth that had nothing to do with the quality of the food. He put down his fork as she joined him at the table.
Enid dumped about a dozen cooked strips of bacon on his plate, keeping only two for herself. He waited for her to be seated, then asked what was uppermost in his mind.
“About last night…” he began, but she cut him off.
“I understand,” she told him, confusing him more. What, exactly, did she think she understood? He wished he knew. “We were both in need of comfort. At least, I hope that was the case. I’d hate to think I took advantage of you,” she went on, astounding him with her words.
“You took advantage of me?” he repeated, incredulous. “I rather thought it might be the other way around,” he clarified. “Or that you were giving me some kind of sympathy prize or thank you gift.”
Her eyes went round with surprise. At least they had that in common. He truly believed, seeing her reaction, that either motivation had been far from her mind. Thank the Goddess.
“I…” She shook her head and tried again. “I wouldn’t do that. If I’d wanted to thank you, I would have just said it, and you certainly aren’t the kind of man who needs anybody’s pity.”
“Well, thanks for that, at least.” Why was he growling? He didn’t understand it himself.
“I thought…um…I thought you felt a bit like I did. Like things just swept me away, and I gave into a need that was bigger than myself,” she said in a more tentative tone that somehow appeased his inner wolf.
He thought about her words, measuring his reply. “That sounds about right,” he told her finally. “I wasn’t really thinking at all last night. I was just feeling…and everything about what we did felt right at the time.”
“It doesn’t now?” Her expression closed, and he felt guilty for putting that hurt look on her face.
“That’s the strange part,” he replied honestly, wanting only truth between them. “I expected that, if anything like this ever happened, I’d feel horrible, but…I don’t.” He met her gaze, glad to be able to discuss his feelings openly.
“Forgive me,” she said quietly, almost reverently. “You’ve never run into this situation before?”
“I haven’t had sex with anyone since my mate died,” he told her. He wanted her to know the truth, though the topic was one he’d never discussed with anyone else.
Enid’s face went from shock to awe to something like envy and then compassion. “I always knew the bond between mated shifters was strong, but I never really understood how deep it ran until this moment. I’m sorry. I had no intention of making you break your vow.”
“It wasn’t a vow,” he told her. “It was a choice, on my part. As you probably know, many of us who lose our mates don’t survive long, if at all. But I had my Pack and my pups. They needed me, so I…held on. I stayed for them, when I would have rather gone on to join Tess. It’s not uncommon for widowed shifters to seek physical solace with another, though there can never be a second true mating. Still, not all of us are blessed to actually find our true mates, so there are usually some singles around at any given time who are happy to share intimacies. I’ve had offers over the years, but I never felt inclined to accept any of them.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what changed. I don’t know why it felt so…okay…to do what we did, but…” He trailed off, words failing him, finally.
She looked at him, her wide eyes full of warmth. “It felt okay to me, too. More than okay, actually. It felt good and right. And, I want to be clear, I don’t jump into bed with every sexy wolf who comes along. It had been a while for me, as well.”
He resumed eating, and she followed suit. He was glad to have the air clear between them, but there was just one more point he had to make, to be certain she understood.
“There can only be one true mate for every shifter,” he told her, brutally honest, his voice low. “I don’t know what it is we have here, but it can’t ever be a mating.”
She paused, looking up at him. “I know.” Her voice sounded resigned and a little disappointed. He was surprised to feel a wave of that same disappointment come over him. “Let’s just enjoy what we have here, do our jobs, and still be friends. That works for me.”
“Friends,” Joe repeated, testing out the word. His head tilted to one side as man and wolf considered the female before them. “I can do that,” he finally decided, glad to have a word to cover what he was feeling, even if it wasn’t entirely adequate.
Enid’s smile lit him up from within. “I’m glad. I’ve never had an Alpha as scary as you for a friend before.”
Her chuckle made him answer in kind. She was teasing him, and it felt… Well, it made his heart feel lighter than it had in ages.
When they got to the hospital, Enid saw Henri and his sister, Helene, hugging each other in the hallway just outside the critical care unit, where Lucinda was recovering from the long surgery. Enid’s heart dropped, and she went straight to them.
“Is she okay?” Enid asked in a quiet voice, concerned by the tight hug the siblings were sharing. She knew shifters were very tactile, so touching and hugging was the rule rather than the exception, but they looked so emotional, she feared something had gone horribly wrong.
They broke apart, and though there were tears on Helene’s face, she was also smiling. So was Henri. He wrapped his free arm around Enid and tugged her close for a quick hug.
“She’s awake,” he said, his voice filled with joy. “She’s awake, and the doctors are claiming victory. The last of them just left to get some sleep,” Henri told her. “I was sitting with her until a moment ago, but the nurse came in to check her and shooed me out. She can have one visitor at a time, for now.”
It was good news, then. Enid felt relief fill her heart. For one terrible moment, she’d been so afraid.
Henri let her go and lifted his gaze to Joe, who stood just behind her. She couldn’t see him, but she felt his presence. He had the kind of aura that made itself known to others. A stronger Alpha, she had never met.
“If you want to slip in for a moment and take a look, I’ll wait,” Henri told Enid.
“If you don’t mind, it would help if I could just take a quick look and see what we have to work with later,” she said in a low voice. “I won’t stay long. Just a few minutes.”
Henri nodded at her. “Thanks.” A world of relief was in that single word. “It was a blessing to have you here and a miracle that you knew how to fly, and were willing to undertake the mission. We’ll never be able to thank you enough, Enid.”
She nodded, just once. “I go where I’m needed, and thankfully, I was here when you needed me.”
A nurse opened the door and signaled to Henri at that moment, and he pointed to Enid. The nurse nodded and held the door for her as she went in to see how Lucinda was faring.