“Aren’t you and Riv…” he trails off, glancing between me and the quarterback in question. “…like, together or whatever?”
If I was drinking my nasty beer, this would be a good moment for a spit take.
I gape at him. “W-what?” I stutter, horrified.
“Dude, it’s no big deal. Love is love and all that. Or in this case, fucking is fucking, maybe? As long as it doesn’t negatively impact our season, Coach isn’t going to say anything. But the way you two connect on the field, I mean, shit. We’re going to dominate this season. Whatever it is you two are doing together, keep it up.”
My teeth clench together and I’m almost positive they are going to wind up as finely ground powder. “We’re not fucking doing anything together besides playing football. I’m not gay and clearly,” I point over to River, who just kissed the top of Abbi’s head, “he isn’t either.”
Elliott laughs and gives me another smirk, delight dancing in his eyes. “You really don’t know?”
“Know what, Elliott? Jesus Christ, stop being fucking cryptic,” I snap.
“Lennox bats for both teams, Grady. Everyone knows that.”
Bats for both teams?
I must say the words out loud because Elliott lets out yet another loud, irritating laugh. “I know you’re a football player, but please tell me you got the fucking idiom. He’s bisexual, dude.”
Ice freezes everything inside me as my eyes whip back to focus on River. He’s still wrapped up with Abbi, looking cozy as hell. As if sensing my gaze, his eyes rise and meet mine. A grin crosses his face, exposing a set of dimples deep enough to see from across the room.
No, there’s no fucking way.
Keeping my eyes locked on his teal ones, I grind out, “Are you sure?”
“As sure as I am that the sky is blue. I’ve known the guy since we were like eight, seeing as we went to prep school at Summit Academy together. It’s never been much of a secret after he came out his freshman year.”
As Elliott speaks, River gives me a curious look, his head cocking slightly and mouths “What?” to me from across the room, to which I shake my head and turn my attention back to Elliott.
“I’m not… we’re not… fuck, no,” I stumble through the words, not sure where the hell I’m trying to go with them or if they’re even meant for Elliott or more myself.
Bisexual? What?
“That might be true, man. I promise, I do believe you. But the way he’s looking at you right now?” Elliott says as he glances up to River, then shakes his head. “It’s somewhere between eye-fucking and a predator ready to devour it’s next meal.”
My eyes immediately flick back to River, and I’m horrified to find Elliott is right. I catch River’s eyes making a full sweep of my body, taking their time rising back to my face after pausing over any part of my body he would most likely love to see naked.
And when the guy finally realizes I’ve caught him blatantly checking me out? He doesn’t blush or show any signs of embarrassment.
No, he just tosses his head back in a laugh, only to bring aim his dimpled grin and penetrating gaze back to me to fucking wink…before returning his attention to the girl beside him.
Like it never fucking happened.
As if him literally eye-fucking me isn’t infuriating enough, my blood practically begins boiling when I realize…I’m fucking jealous of the girl who seems to be taking his time.
Which makes no sense in the slightest because, uh, I’m not into dudes.
The headache that was starting to form behind my eyes earlier is only building in pressure with this new revelation. Rubbing my neck, I take a deep breath as I do my best not to completely lose my shit.
River is bi. He just checked me out. He’s been nothing but friendly to me since we’ve met, but never hinting he was into me. I’ve never felt so welcomed onto a team thanks to him, but is it because of attraction? Or because he actually gives a shit about the team meshing well?
Fuck me.
My thoughts are blazing through my brain at a million miles per hour and I can’t seem to wrap my mind around how I got myself into this kind of situation.
But then I realize something.
I should have known better than to be willing to attempt friendship with anyone at this place, or even in general, ever again. I’ve never been a good friend, even back in high school when I had the twins.
Thinking of them brings a tightness to my chest. Siena and Roman were everything to me, they’ll never be replaced. I still frequently talk to Siena, even if it’s only through text messaging a couple times a month. I know she’s busy going to school at University of Michigan. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love her, miss her, or think about her on almost a daily basis.
Or even Roman, regardless of the state I left our friendship in the night before he left for college. The night he made a move I never saw coming, and it led our friendship to a turning point we wouldn’t be able to come back from.
The night he bent us, but I made sure we broke.
A knot lodges itself in my throat, but I manage to speak to Elliott around it. “I’m gonna head out, man. This isn’t really my scene.”
He chuckles, “Yeah, mine either. I’ll see you at practice. Want me to let Riv know you’re heading out?”
My eyes slip back to River, but he’s completely engrossed in conversation with a couple guys from the team, sipping his beer without a care in the world. With his arm still slung over Abbi’s shoulder.
Even after he just gave me the universal signal he’s DTF.
And there’s that fucking twang of jealousy, rearing it’s ugly head once more.
“Yeah, whatever,” I answer noncommittally, shuffling past him and the crowd gathered near the door, breaking into the freedom of the night.
I catch an Uber easily seeing as it’s a Saturday night in a college town. But on the ride back to my apartment, I’m only able to latch onto one thought running rampant in my brain.
How the fuck did this happen…again?
August has flown by in what seems like a split second, and with it the first few games of the season. Thankfully, due to the talent of yours truly, all those games were also huge W’s as well.
Okay, well I’ll admit, it’s not just my talent making this season look like we could possibly go undefeated.
A huge portion of that comes in the form of CU’s newest wide receiver.
The guy is a beast on the field during the game, laser focused on the ball and the ball alone. I don’t think I’ve seen anything like it. Or felt anything like this when it comes to playing with someone this new to the team. Meshing doesn’t seem to be the right word.
We’re damn near unstoppable.
But with that, also comes a small issue.
He’s also turning into the object of my latest obsession.
This chemistry we have, it’s screwing with my head. It’s distracting to say the very least because it’s all I can do not to watch and try to evaluate every goddamn move, and word, and glance he makes.
Which is difficult because he’s been pretty distant since the party I took him to a couple weeks ago after our first game.
No, that’s putting it mildly. Ciaráin has been avoiding me anywhere that isn’t the football field. We don’t talk in the locker room while getting dressed like we did that first game day, and any time I see him somewhere on campus, he turns the other way like he didn’t see me toss him a friendly wave.