“I attend the seminar this weekend and hopefully get an invitation to join them for a longer session at their campus in upstate New York. That’s apparently where the Woodward girls are.”
Dash lifted his coffee cup and took a drink. “They use their workshops as a screening process? Smart.”
“Allows them to focus on the ones that really seem susceptible to their BS, I guess. I just really hate having to pretend to be one of them.”
He patted her knee. “Think of how good it will feel to fuck them over.”
There was that. “You sure you don’t mind watering the plants for me?”
“I told you I didn’t. Doesn’t Shannon normally house-sit for you?”
“Yeah, well…” She sighed. “I don’t want to be put between her and her mother right now. There’s already tension.”
Frowning, Dash leaned his elbow on the back of the couch. “Between you and Megan?”
“And between me and Shannon. She wants me to be her mother, but if I was any good at that, I wouldn’t have given her up.”
“I suppose it’s difficult to find a way to articulate that without making the kid feel like she wasn’t wanted.”
“She wasn’t,” Killian admitted. She would only ever admit that to him. “I love her, Dash. I really do. I’d die for her, but when I found out about her I didn’t want her. You know that.” He’d been her best friend at the time, and her boyfriend Jason had been in lockup. Jason never even knew Killian had been pregnant, or if he had, he never let on.
Which wouldn’t be a surprise given that he’d had two children Killian didn’t know about with another woman Killian also knew nothing about.
He nodded. “I was going to take you to your abortion appointment.”
“And then fucking Meg—barely twenty-one—begs me to let her raise her. She wanted a baby so bad. I don’t know what the fuck she was thinking.”
“Maybe she knew that guy she’d been dating wasn’t worth it.”
Killian shrugged. “She’d already met Cam by then.” Cam and Megan eventually got married and had a daughter of their own, Willow, but Cam hadn’t known where Shannon came from originally. He and Shannon found out the truth around the same time. It turned out that Cam had his suspicions, but he didn’t really care. He’d helped raise Shannon and loved her like his own. As far as he was concerned, she belonged to him and Megan in all the ways that mattered.
And that was what Killian wanted.
“Anyway, Meg and Cam and the girls are all the family I have. I don’t want to lose that because they think I’m trying to take Shannon away.”
“Come on, they’d never think that.”
“Maybe not, but all I’d have to do right now is say the word and Shannon would move in with me. It’s bad enough that she runs to me whenever she’s pissed at them.”
“Have you talked to her about this?”
“You know I have. I’m not sure she’s listening. So I have to put some distance between us—as much as I fucking hate it.”
He closed the distance between them and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her against his chest. He kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry.”
Killian leaned into him. “Thanks. It’ll be fine, but I’m almost looking forward to getting involved with a cult this weekend so I don’t have to deal with it. How crazy is that?”
Dash’s arm tightened around her. “Sounds about right where family’s concerned.”
Late Friday morning, as Killian was putting her bags in the trunk of her cherry-red ’66 Impala—tricked out by Dash, of course—her phone rang. It was Donna, her parole officer. Only another two months to go before she was finally in the free and clear.
“Hey, Donna,” she said, closing the trunk. “What’s up?”
“You tell me,” came the strangely clipped reply. “Why did I get a phone call from the parole board concerning you?”
Killian’s stomach twisted slightly. She’d go back inside if she really had to, but she’d prefer to avoid it if possible. “No idea. What did they say?”
“They were pretty tight-lipped. They asked a lot about your employment and recent activities. They wanted to know how much trust I had in you.”
She dug the car keys out of her pocket. “What did you say?”
“I told them I had no reason to distrust you.”
Killian chuckled. “Nice way to put it. I hate to tell you, Donna, that I can’t help you. I have no idea why they’d be checking in.”
“I can’t help you, Killian, if you’re not honest with me.”
“I am being honest. I have no idea why they’d want to talk to you about me.” Except that I’ve been working for this secret group that likes to skirt the gray areas of the law…
“You’d tell me if you were in trouble?”
She opened the driver’s door and climbed in. “I’d ask for your help if I needed it.” Donna wasn’t the only one who knew how to turn words around.
“Are you going somewhere?” Donna asked.
“Actually, I’m going to a retreat,” Killian replied with forced enthusiasm. “One of those self-improvement things.”
Silence.
“Seriously?”
Killian grinned as she slid the key into the ignition. “Seriously. I’ll bring the receipt to our next meeting. You can put it in my file if anyone calls again.”
“I really don’t want to get blindsided by something, Killian. I really don’t like it when I invest in someone and they fuck me over.”
“I respect that. I promise that I am not trying to fuck you over. You’ve been good to me and I appreciate it.”
“Thanks.” When Killian didn’t respond, she added, “Enjoy your weekend. I’ll see you Tuesday.”
“You bet.” Killian hung up and sighed. Heat from parole was the last thing she needed, but it was probably just some noob with a hard-on for putting ex-cons back in jail sniffing around. The cover the Initiative made for her was strong enough to withstand all kinds of scrutiny—she wasn’t their only employee of criminal background. They had to look legit. She’d put a text in to Maxine and let her take care of it if there was anything to take care of.
She plugged the address into her phone before fastening her seat belt and starting the car’s engine. A few minutes later, she set the phone in the holder on the dash and set out. Traffic looked good, but it was still going to take her almost two hours to get to the retreat site.
She headed west on I-84 into New York State. Her route took her along 684 and eventually the Saw Mill River Parkway—a much more scenic drive, though it could be a real bitch if there were any slowdowns or accidents. She took that into Mount Kisco and finally stopped at the Holiday Inn she’d booked to drop off her belongings and get ready for the retreat.
Killian wasn’t much of a makeup person, but she needed to play the part of someone who was uncomfortable in her own skin. She wore her dark hair down, brushing it and smoothing it until it was sleek and shiny. Then she put on some concealer, mascara, and lip gloss. She traded her T-shirt for a blouse that covered most of her tattoos and her boots for a pair of flats she’d picked up on sale at Macy’s.