Ian has always been bigger, but Will is scrappy.
Bandit doesn’t need much more cool-down time. We walked the entire way back, and it’s cold today. I need to get him stripped of tack and watered and brush him out, then he’ll be good to go back to his stall for the night.
I’m sweaty despite the freezing temperature, tired but centered. I know I need to talk to Ian and Momma, explain what happened and why I left, but being home, being back, is so damn healing.
Stopping at a water trough, I hop down and wince. My thighs are sore from being in the saddle. I give myself time to stretch, petting the soft fur of Bandit’s neck.
“Such a good boy.” I smile at him.
“He give you any trouble?” Johnny asks.
“Nope, he was a perfect gentleman.”
“Good, I would hate for him to misbehave his first time with a new lady.” He flirts, winking at me. Is there something in the water around here? What is with all these men?
When Bandit is done drinking, I lead him inside toward the stall and tie the reins to a hook high on the wall. It’s like riding a bike, untying the straps of the saddle. My muscles remember what they’re doing, even if it’s been years since I’ve done it. When I reach for the saddle to remove it from Bandit’s back, Will grabs it. He winks at me as his arms bulge, carrying it into the tack room and setting it down to air out.
He hands me a brush with a smirk, his fingers brushing against mine.
“You won’t be winning the next beauty pageant with that shiner.”
“I don’t know. The ladies dig a bad boy.” His smirk turns into a smile. “You only saw Ian through the rain, huh?”
My face heats, hearing my lie on his lips. “I said what I said.”
“That’s why he came in here looking for a fight? You blow him off or something?” He’s watching me, reading the lines of my face.
I swallow before answering, last night playing in my head. “Or something.”
He nods, more to himself than to me. “If you’re spoken for, it would be best to not keep it a secret. You know how small towns are. You’ve been gone a long while. All the boys are going to be sniffing around for fresh blood.”
He’s pushing me into a corner, and I hate it. With anger flaring in my veins, my hand holding the brush falls from Bandit’s back. “I am not a damn piece of meat, William Rojas. You will do well to remember that.”
Grabbing the reins from the hook, I turn Bandit around and take him to his stall to finish his brushing. Once inside, with the half door closed, I take his bridle off and hang it outside on the hook. Will comes over and leans on the door.
“I’m just trying to warn you how it’s gonna be,” he mumbles.
“I’m a big girl. I can handle the boys around here.”
He purses his lips and nods. “When you’re finished here, if he’s ready, go ahead and feed him. His grain mixture is on the wall. He gets three flakes.”
I nod but don’t turn to look at him. He knocks on the door and walks away before I take a deep breath. These damn Rojas boys are going to be the death of me.
Bandit turns his head to nudge me with his nose. Tears spring to my eyes as I wrap my arms around his neck, his cheek resting against my back.
I’ve missed this too. This connection to the horses. Growing up with them, you learn how perceptive these creatures are. They feel, have personalities, and love hard.
“You’re the only man I need,” I tell him as I brush him again. “I give you permission to bite them if they bother me.”
He huffs at me, making me smile.
By the time I’m done in the stables, I’m sweaty, tired, sore, and smell like horse. It’s been a good day. A wiry smile is on my lips as I head up to the main house for dinner. I have always loved Mel’s cooking. I’ve been looking forward to dinner since she invited me this morning. It’ll be good to be with my family.
The front door opens before I have a chance, and Ian fills the doorframe. Staring at me with his own set of bruises, he looks dangerous and delicious. My mouth waters for a taste of his anger, his passion. Lust flutters in my gut at the intensity of him. He was always possessive and protective of me, never wanting to share me with the other boys. Looks like that hasn’t changed.
He steps out on the porch and closes the door, forcing me to step back or be pressed against him.
“Why did you leave?”
He’s angry, but under the anger is hurt. I can see it in the set of his shoulders. He has every right to be angry with me, but I’m not ready for this.
My eyes close and my shoulders drop. “I promise I will tell you everything. Just not tonight.”
“Was there someone else?” Uncertainty flashes across his face, making me want to cry.
“No.” I step up to him, resting my hands on his chest. “There was no one.”
Ian’s hand cups my cheek, his calloused thumb dragging over the delicate skin.
“Did I push too fast? Did I make you run?” His voice is quiet, breaking my heart.
“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. Me leaving is on me.” Lifting onto my toes, I kiss his bruised cheek.
His eyes close on a shuttered breath.
The front door opens again, and I step back. He deserves so much better than me. All I do is hurt him. Even after all these years, I can see it clear as day in his face. He deserves a loving wife and house full of kids. My eyes drop to his left hand, but I don’t see a wedding band. It both makes me feel better and worse. I’m glad I’m not a homewrecker, but he deserves better than me. I’m a damn mess.
Will clears his throat. “Dinner’s ready.”
Ian nods, but doesn’t turn around. Stepping past him, I head inside past Will, ending the intimacy of the moment before. I need to keep my distance from Ian. He’s dangerous to my heart. He needs a sweet little wife who dotes on him and fills their house with babies. That woman isn’t me. It can never be me.
After washing my hands and face, I head to the dining room and take a seat next to Momma, forcing a smile to my lips.
“How was your day?” Momma asks.
“Good. I took Bandit out for a run.” I grab a bread roll from the bowl as they’re passed down the table.
Ian sits directly across from me, not letting me hide from him.
“I doubt I’ll be able to walk tomorrow though,” I continue.
“Been a while since you were in the saddle?” Mel asks as David comes in and sits down.
“Not since I left.”
David’s head snaps toward me, his eyes taking me in a second before a smile splits my face.
“Well, hey there, stranger!” He gets up and walks around the table toward me.
I stand and give him a hug when he reaches me. He gives great big bear hugs, just like Will.
He pats my back, squeezing me one more time before stepping back. “Damn good to see you, kid.”
“Thanks. It’s good to be back.” I smile back at him. He takes his seat at the head of the table and I sit back down. We all fill our plates, passing dishes around as needed.
“Where ya been?” David asks, everyone’s eyes turn toward me except Momma’s.
“I was in Samson.” I swallow and wait.