Lauren has turned me back into a fifteen-year-old boy with constant urges.
I’m torturing myself. I should sleep on the couch. But I’m six foot six, most of me won’t even fit on the couch. Besides, it’s been years since I’ve felt the warmth of someone lying next to me, and the need—the temptation—is too big to ignore. I know it’s not real. It means nothing. But at the same time, feeling the warmth of her in bed beside me means so much more than she could ever realize.
I want to reach for her.
But the last woman I touched was my undoing.
And that was a lifetime ago.
I push the thought back. I don’t normally let those thoughts escape very often, because when they do, they always bring a whole bunch of hurt with them.
My past destroyed me.
But it did not break me.
Our awkward silence hangs heavily between us. I can feel both our minds racing.
She breaks first. “This is weird.”
“Which part?”
“All of it.”
She isn’t wrong. Weird is just the beginning.
“It could be worse,” I say.
“Oh yeah, how?”
“I could be fashioning a new set of human-hide lampshades right now.”
She gasps. “You’re such an ass.”
But I feel her smile behind the pillow wall.
“You can relax, princess, I’m not going to hurt you. You’re safe.”
She’s quiet for a moment before her voice cuts into the darkness. “I know. But you should ask yourself something.”
“What?”
Her voice is smoky. “Are you?”
I can’t help but grin into the darkness. I love her fucking fire. She’s ballsy. And apparently not a princess at all.
I don’t doubt she could put up a fight. She wouldn’t win. But nevertheless, she’d go down fighting.
“Are you telling me you’re going to do something to me in my sleep?” I ask.
She snickers. “Now why would I tell you my plans and ruin the element of surprise?”
I try not to think of all the pleasurable things I’d like her to do to me in my sleep.
Like waking me up with her mouth.
On my cock.
I roll onto my side. “Well, I look forward to finding out. Goodnight, princess.”
I feel her relax beside me, despite the pillow wall.
“Goodnight, Mr. Kidnapper.”
I smile against my pillow.
She isn’t afraid of me. But she should be.
Because if she knew the truth about my past, then she wouldn’t want anything to do with me.
Chapter Eleven
LAUREN
I wake up, and for a moment I forget it’s my wedding day. Axel is asleep next to me. Somewhere during the night, the pillow wall disappeared and I’d slid into his aura of warmth and nestled in behind him. Realizing my mistake, I quickly pull away to create some space between us before taking a moment to study him.
He’s huge. Like Thor huge. The bulk of him fills the bed beside me. The comforter hugs him from the waist down, leaving his glorious torso exposed. It’s thick with muscle and his skin is golden and flawless. He’s on his side, hugging the pillow, his big arms wrapped around it, his long lashes fanning his cheek bones as he is lost in a deep sleep.
I climb out of bed and walk to the big window at the far end of the room. It’s snowing.
I press a hand against the glass and take in the view. Snow caps the top of the pine trees for as far as the eye can see, and snow falls like confetti, floating softly past the window. It looks like a winter wonderland.
During the night, I had woken a few times to the storm blowing wildly around the cabin. But now it’s calm and beautiful.
Oddly, I am at peace. I mean, I feel weird and strange, and somewhere inside me I know I am sad. But I just don’t understand why.
Is it because I’m missing my wedding?
Or because it took this happening to make me realize I didn’t really want to go through with it?
Hell, did I just admit that?
I bite down on my thumbnail, surprised by my admission.
Perhaps I’m having some kind of breakdown.
No. I feel too calm and my head feels remarkably clear.
And this feels so… right?
I shake my head.
I don’t understand any of it.
“They said it might snow early this year,” Axel says behind me. His voice is deep and masculine, and it settles on my skin like silk. I turn away from the window to look at him. And for heaven’s sake, could this man get any hotter? He’s wearing nothing but sweatpants hanging low on his hips, and his hair is messy from bed. His usually rugged face is softened by sleep.
“It’s beautiful,” I say, turning back to the view, suddenly feeling vulnerable and strange.
He steps behind me, and I feel the heat of him engulf me. It’s like a gentle, comforting caress against my skin, and I shiver.
“It’s what made me want to buy this land,” he says. “When I saw the view, I knew this was home. I bought the land that day and started building the cabin a week later.”
“You built this?”
He reaches out to touch the logged wall. “Every inch.”
There is something incredibly sexy about a man being able to build a home. It arouses my primal instincts. A strong man building a strong home to protect you from the weather and the wildlife. I look at his hand pressed against the timber log. It’s big. His fingers long. I had no doubt his hands could do anything.
Especially to my body.
Our eyes meet and his hand drops to his side. I watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallows back the intensity of the moment. The air stretches around us. I lick my lips again because more than anything, I want him to kiss them. Yeah, I know. It’s crazy. And clearly, I was wrong. I am having some kind of breakdown because I know I’m exactly where I want to be and it’s right here, right now with this man. Kissing him. His eyes track the movement of my tongue sliding over my bottom lip, and I can see the desire burning in his eyes. My mouth parts. My heart pounds. My breathing quickens. Lust is a tightly coiled spring in my gut, ready to snap.
It’s been so long since I’ve been touched.
Like really touched.
“Lauren…” he breathes my name and it is dripping with need.
I step toward him. I’m going to kiss him and he is going to put his hands on my body. And it is going to be magical. A thrill of excitement ripples through me. I look down and can see his arousal at the front of his sweats. When I look back up, the heat of desire is blazing in his eyes.
This is happening.
But just as we start to move toward each other, the sound of a vehicle pulling up outside breaks the spell and we both pull back. Axel glances out the window looking over the driveway.
His shoulders relax.
“It’s my grocery delivery.”
I let out a shaky breath for no other reason than because I can’t believe it’s my wedding day and I was just about to kiss the man who made sure I wouldn’t make it to the ceremony.
Axel puts on a shirt and I watch him walk away, taking in the broad shoulders and muscular back as he crosses the room to the front door. Appreciating the view, I exhale deeply.
I think back to last night and how turned on it made me to be tied to his bed. How desperately I wanted him to kiss me and ease the ache between my thighs as he’d untied me.