“Everything is going to work itself out. You’ll see,” she said with more optimism than she felt. Holden’s misery was palpable and distressing on a level she hadn’t experienced before. Her heart ached, and she suddenly needed to be his cheerleader, to make him realize that when life hands you lemons, a new door opens. Wait, she had that all wrong.
She tried again. “When the world delivers limes, you make margaritas.”
Holden’s look of confusion made her blurt out another one.
“Even in your darkest hour, smile because it happened.” She blinked and tried to correct herself again. “That is so wrong. It’s… that… I can’t find my favorite quotes. They’re hiding from me. But you know, lemonade and dark nights of the soul, happiness, positivity, transformation from finding your rainbow.” Mortification was setting in now, and she was messing this up on a whole new level. “I used affirmations and mental tricks to stay positive during some rough days in college. But right now, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
The baffled look lessened slightly. “Are you trying to tell me it won’t always be this bad?”
“Yes! And we have to keep going. You have a great team, and everyone understands that this can happen. I can help you through this trial by fire, and we’re going to come out stronger and more secure than ever. What you’re doing for bioplastics is going to change the future of our planet. We both know it. You said I’m incredible, but it’s not me who is changing the world, it’s you.”
Holden’s eyes closed, and she watched him breathe for a moment.
Maleah stalled. She was about to say she would continue working for the company, but the words wouldn’t form. How could she survive with no income? The answer was simple, she couldn’t.
He rose from the chair, came to her, and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. After months of wondering and dreaming what it would feel like to have his body pressed against hers, it was finally happening. He was strong, his body firm and lean from cycling, running, and swimming. When he wasn’t working at True Green, Holden trained as a triathlete, and it showed.
His hand stroked down her back. “Maleah, you always make me feel better. Even when you’re babbling or talking nonsense, it helps. Thank you.”
“It’s one of my best skills,” she said as she tried to process exactly what he meant by pointing out her flaw of babbling like an insane person. Seriously? He likes that? She hated when she couldn’t find the right words.
Was now the time to point out that since she was no longer his intern they could go out on a date?
“Holden,” she started.
His hot, damp palm stayed pressed against her back, keeping her close. She cherished the feeling of his body but couldn’t help but wonder if there was a wet spot on her sheer blouse.
“You’re a real-life angel. I want to keep in touch with you after this settles down.”
Oh, goodness. He’s thinking the same thing I am. “I want that too.”
His phone rang. Holden left her standing in the middle of his office as he returned to the desk and answered. “Hey, Davis,” he said and then fell quiet, listening.
The mention of Davis’s name brought back the anxiety-ridden, eye-twitching frustration of her current circumstances and how Davis threw her under the bus. She waited patiently and listened to see if Holden would end the call, but instead he walked around the desk, clicked his mouse, and bent over to look closer at the computer monitor.
“Uh-huh. Yes, I have it in front of me,” Holden said.
Her boss, well, former boss should know what happened. She hung out for another minute, but Holden was engrossed with his screen. Maleah moved to the door.
Holden finally glanced up. “I have to deal with this. Sorry, Maleah. Bad timing.”
“It’s okay,” she said, agreeable as always. She attempted a smile and turned to let herself out. He was having the worst day of his life. She didn’t expect him to make promises now, did she? She was being ridiculous.
Then she heard him say, “Davis, hold on one second,” followed by, “Maleah?”
She turned back around. He wasn’t done talking to her after all. Her heart lightened as she faced the world’s sexiest and most intelligent boss.
“Thanks for helping me get through this. You are a gem. Email me those files when you can, all right?”
The smile was forced as she said, “Of course.”
She let herself out and somehow made it to her car. The fallout wasn’t pretty, and she didn’t remember how she got home, but Maleah found herself inside her hole-in-the-wall apartment before the ugly crying started.
The part of her morning that disturbed her most was how she’d put Holden’s feelings and stresses before her own. Maleah hadn’t stood up for herself, and Davis received all the credit for their project. After replaying the morning’s events a thousand times in her mind, she realized the day had slipped away and she was starving. Eating a frozen pizza, a pint of fudge brownie ice cream, and most of a bag of ranch-flavored potato chips, which didn’t taste too great and were kind of stale, she felt bloated and had to change out of her pants because the waistband was digging into her stomach. The pig-out session didn’t improve her dismal new reality either. To make matters worse, Maleah calculated that she’d consumed roughly ninety thousand calories in one sitting and felt guilty about it. Going for a run would solve everything. Running not only burned calories and released endorphins, but the physical exertion would take her mind off her problems.
She threw on joggers and a T-shirt, tied the laces on her sneakers, and headed outside—heedless of the cold and the dark. Fifteen pounding strides down the sidewalk later and she remembered vividly why there was a large Band-Aid on her knee and that she hadn’t run or jogged anywhere in years. She’d been too busy trying to make True Green the top bioplastics company in the world. Maleah limped home, opened the only bottle of alcohol in the apartment, and chugged.
“Bleh.” The Marsala was not meant for gulping. She took another long swig, gagged, and felt a dribble of wine leak down her chin and onto her shirt. She hobbled over to the bed, plunked down on the edge of the mattress, missed by a couple inches, and fell on the floor. Soggy carpet be damned. Maleah felt too sorry for herself to move and sat there in a pitiful heap, contemplating why Marsala tasted so good with chicken and mushrooms but not by itself.
She tasted the wine again. “Too strong,” she said and coughed. Maleah wiped the back of her hand over her mouth and drank the rest.
* * *
Mistakes had been made. It was true. Maleah wasn’t perfect. As much as she hated to admit it to herself, she had weaknesses. Apparently, one of her faults was that she couldn’t stomach cheap wine with frozen pizza, not to mention the other mistakes she’d stuffed into her mouth the night before. However, learning from her mistakes was something she excelled at, and she swore to never drink the cooking wine ever again. Eating chicken Marsala may be off the menu permanently as well. Shame. That was one of her favorite meals.
Another weakness she needed to work on was checking her phone as soon as she woke up every morning. Ignoring her phone wasn’t happening on this day, though. One self-improvement at a time seemed like enough work. She reached over and grabbed the phone from its customary spot on the nightstand. Her hand bumped the empty bottle of Marsala and it fell to the floor. The thick green glass bottle survived the fall on the cushy old carpet. If any wine spilled out, it hardly mattered.