“You’re fading away, Mami. You need to eat more,” he whispered as I shoved half of a waffle into my mouth.
I nodded. I would if I could, I thought, but Timmy’s needs came first - always and forever.
Rodrigo looked at me as he flipped some bacon. His chef hat perched crookedly on his head. I didn't like being a source of worry for him. He had a wife and a son in college; he didn’t need to worry about poor little Amber Collins.
Putting the last piece of crispy bacon into my mouth, I savored the sensation of a full belly - something that was rarer than I cared to admit or think about. Jumping up from my spot on the counter, I gave him a kiss on the cheek and straightened his hat. “Thanks again for everything, but things are getting better.” How could I even say that with a straight face?
I put my bag in my locker and clocked in on my punch timecard. I was about to walk onto the floor when Denny exited his office.
“Amber, could I see you in my office for a minute, please?”
I looked at the clock. The morning rush hour was about to start. It was the best time for tips; I couldn't afford to miss any of it.
He seemed to understand my conflict because he gestured me in. “It will only take a minute. Just come in, please.”
I nodded as if I had a choice. Denny was fair, but firm and didn't tolerate any disrespect; it was all I could really ask for from a boss.
“Amber, I noticed the schedule has been changed and you’re covering for Maria tomorrow.”
I frowned, sitting in the seat he’d just gestured me to. He’d never minded that before. He has always said that as long as he has coverage, he doesn’t care who does what. “Yes. She has to help her sister with some wedding arrangements. I don’t have a problem covering for her.”
“You don’t, but I do. Amber, you’ve been working for me for how long? Two years?”
I nodded.
“But recently, I’m worried about you, kid. The other staff is too.”
“I’m doing a good job!” I exclaimed. “I’m a good waitress.”
“You are, probably the best I have, but you are walking a fine line. You are so thin and tired. No amount of makeup can hide that.” He shook his head. “You’ve worked twenty-three days in a row. If you keep on going like this, you’ll get sick, and then you won’t have a job and I won't have my best waitress.”
“Yes, but -” How could I even ask him for a pay advance now?
He raised his hand. “I understand that life has not been kind to you recently with your sister passing away and her sick kid becoming your charge, but think about him for a minute, if you don’t want to think about yourself. What will happen to him if you get too sick to take care of him? Who would care for him then? He’ll end up in the system and that’s not a place for a kid, let alone a sick one.”
I looked down at my hands. Denny was an orphan that ended up in the social system, somewhere I would have ended myself if it hadn’t been for Opal.
“But -”
He shook his head. “No, Amber. This isn’t healthy, so you’re going to take this -” he slipped an envelope toward me - “and then take tomorrow off.”
I took the envelope and looked into it to find $200. I had to blink back tears. “I don’t want charity.” Why was I saying that? I didn’t have the luxury to refuse, especially since I knew I would have to apply for food stamps in the very near future.
“It’s not charity, trust me. Someone left it as a tip on your table last night.”
I rested the envelope against my chest. “Thank you.”
He shook his head. “Now go and do your shift, and I better not see you until Thursday, okay?”
“Okay, thank you. Really.”
He grunted, looking down at his desk, clearly dismissing me.
I walked into the kitchen a little lighter. I tucked the envelope into my apron pocket before looking at Rodrigo, who was giving me a knowing smile.
“Was that you?” I whispered as I stopped beside him and pointed toward the office.
He shrugged. “He just needed a reality check.”
“You’re good to me.”
“You deserve it. Now go; the room is filling up.”
For once, my shift was enjoyable. The tips were generous and combined with the “tip from last night,” I was ready to leave with a total of almost $240! I could pay the electricity bill, buy a couple boxes of formula, a big bag of diapers, and enough ramen noodles to last me a week. I could probably even indulge in a couple of Mars bars too.
“I’ve heard Denny’s put you on house arrest for two days.”
I cringed at the voice of Zack, Denny’s nephew. He was a self-entitled asshole who was supposed to be working here in order to learn about values, but who would never do.
I turned around with a fake smile. Zack was only a few months younger than me, but he acted like an immature teenager. He’d never had any issues in his life, and though that was good, it meant that he had no idea about what life was really like.
“Ah, well you know, it’s okay. Thanks for the concern.”
He leaned against the wall beside me, his red hair falling in front of his eyes. A grin that didn’t predict anything good, appeared on his lips.
“Maybe I can help you with that. I have a job for you.”
“Okay…” I trailed off. I was not against making a little more money, but working for Zack was not that appealing.
“Yeah. So I have this party this weekend but have nobody to take. I’ll pay you $300.”
I frowned, grabbing my bag and holding it against my chest like a barrier. “You’re a decent looking guy. I’m sure you don't need to pay anyone.”
He shrugged. “I just don't want to work too hard for the after soirée. With you, I'm sure to get what I want.”
I froze, ice settling in my stomach. “Excuse me?”
He waved his hand dismissively. “Ah, come on. I know what your sister’s job was. It has to run in the family and I'm sure you can use the money.” He sighed. “Okay, I’m ready to go up to $400 if you let me shove it up your ass.”
Bile rose in my throat at the thought of having sex with him or anyone for that matter, especially for money. How did he find out about Opal? And was it like this for her? Was she propositioned even when she didn't want to be?
“No.” How had he ever thought I’d agree to this?
He arched his eyebrows in surprise. “Why?”
I snorted. “Why?” I shook my head. “I’m not even sure what to say. My sister’s career choice was made out of desperation, not pleasure. Besides, what she did, doesn’t define me.”
“Of course it does. Your sister was a whore and I’m sure it won’t take much more for you to be as well. It’s in your blood.”
I was a breath away from kicking him in the nuts, my job be damned, but then he moved from his spot.
“Just think about it.”
He walked away nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t just insulted me, and in his head, he probably hadn’t.
I took a deep breath. Water off the duck’s back. Water off the duck’s back. I repeated the mantra as I forced my anger away.
After taking the bus back to North Philadelphia, I walked to Walmart. I bought all I needed and breathed a little lighter when I managed to pay my electricity bill, knowing that the lights would stay on for at least another month.