Victoria turned toward me, her smile was bright and beautiful, and her eyes lit up. My hand went to my chest, rubbing away the sudden sting. I hated how perfect she was, and how much I wanted her, no matter how many hours I’d spent talking myself out of it. It made me physically sick to think of being less than in her eyes when she finally learned the truth about me.
“You did that the last time you guys were here together, you know?”
“Did what?” I rolled my eyes when I turned to his snicker.
“That night you both came in for the Halloween party. Someone tried to chat her up near the register about what she was buying until he noticed your death glare behind her and backed off. She didn’t notice, so I guess she’s just as oblivious as you are.”
Victoria lured people in with her beauty and her infectious personality. I remembered her eyes dancing when she showed that creep all the comics in her hands and, although I had no right to, I resented the shit out of him for simply talking to her.
In another life, I’d be everything for her, everything she wanted me to be.
In this one, I was nothing.
He sniffed and twisted his face in disgust. “This pine shit the guys sprayed around here to make it smell like Christmas is making me want to throw up. It’s appropriate, though.” He laughed to himself.
“For a holiday party, yeah I guess.” I shrugged, not knowing why a snide grin was playing on his lips.
“Pine, for all the pining going on in here.”
I rolled my eyes again, finally tearing them away from Victoria.
“You’re an idiot.”
“I’m more amazed you found the right green for her eyes. I’ve never seen anything like it.” He shook his head and set his hands on the counter. “She’s obviously into you, too. So why play the game? Hell, if I thought she was interested in me—”
“Stop, Howie.” My mouth flattened to a hard line, which only made him laugh harder.
“I don’t blame you. A girl that looks like that, and has that kind of a reaction to special edition comics? I’d kick my ass for looking, too. But you can’t really do that if you’re not with her, know what I mean?”
Howie made his way around the counter to greet more guests. He was absolutely right. I couldn’t kick anyone’s ass because she wasn’t mine. I was twenty-one and thanks to my tumultuous teenage years was nowhere near where I should be. Maybe I could go back to school at night after the new year, but that was a big maybe. A girl like Victoria didn’t need someone like me dragging down her bright future, and no matter how great the temptation, I wouldn’t.
It was the pining that was the bitch.
9
Victoria
“I knew you’d win!” I squealed. Without thinking, I launched myself at Anthony. I looped my arms around his neck and was shocked when he lifted me off the ground, returning my tight embrace. My eyes shut as I attempted to freeze the moment in my head. Anthony’s salty but spicy scent, his strong arms as he lifted me off of the ground as if I were nothing but a feather, and the quick moment I swore he was about to kiss me when he set me down.
“I knew, too.” Howie flashed us a wry grin. “You’ve got talent, Diaz. You’re grumpy as hell, but I guess all artists are, right?” He snuck a wink at me, and I laughed. “Go talk to Jonny Ng, he’s got paperwork for you. I’ll get the cash for you in a minute.”
“What’s the paperwork for?” I asked Howie after Anthony made his way to the back of the store where the judges sat at a small table.
“You know who Jonny Ng is, he’s a famous artist and the winner of the contest gets consideration for an internship with him. Anthony did a great job making this on his own, but there, he’d learn how to do it for real. You didn’t know what the prizes were?”
“No, we just came for the glory.” I grinned.
Howie smiled at me before heading into his office. I spied Anthony’s book on the counter. When I was sure no one was looking, I grabbed it and flipped through to the back parts Anthony wouldn’t let me see. My jaw dropped when I first spotted the heroine in the story. He never showed me any dialogue or chapters where he mentioned a woman in the plot. It wasn’t the fact that she was there, it was that she looked like…me. The first thing I noticed were her large green eyes, he nailed the weird color that no one else had but my father and me. I read fast while picking my head up and glancing over in Anthony’s direction every few minutes to make sure I wouldn’t get caught. His back was still to me, and I continued to skim. She was a writer and reminded me a little of Lois Lane from Superman, but she became her own superhero. When it came down to the big fight scene, she appeared out of thin air, wearing a gold crown and wielding a sword as her long, dark hair swirled around her shoulders.
Invisibility.
Anthony made me a superhero. I draped my hand over my throat to remind myself to breathe. What did this mean? Maybe it wasn’t me, and I was reading into it because I wanted him to see me like that. But everything was just too similar.
I heard him laugh and closed the book. He still hadn’t noticed me snooping, but I had no idea how to handle what I’d just learned. All I did know was that I couldn’t go back or ignore it.
“So, you saw?” Howie asked, studying my face as he stuffed cash into an envelope. My cheeks were cold and most likely pale. Stuffing my hands into my coat pockets didn’t stop them from shaking.
“Saw what?” My eyes darted from Howie to where Anthony was. He caught my gaze and smiled, more relaxed and happier than I’d ever seen him before. Despite the nauseating combo of emotions swirling around in my gut, I smiled back.
“You saw that you’re his muse.”
“I’m not his muse. I’m sure it’s a coincidence.” I raked a hand through my hair, not believing a word coming out of my mouth. Until I figured out what to do about it, I couldn’t accept what I’d seen as true yet.
Howie snickered as he sealed the envelope. “You two need to figure shit out. You’re the real life equivalent of an old John Hughes film, but you never get together so the chase in the middle goes on and on and on.” He blew out a long breath before shaking his head. “He writes stories with you as the heroine, and I bet somewhere you doodle your first name with his last name. One of you needs to push it to the next level, and that stubborn asshole never budges an inch. Well, not for anyone before you.”
“Before me?” I coughed out a laugh. “I had to almost push him in here tonight.”
“But he came. Look,” Howie cast a quick glance in Anthony’s direction, “I’ve known him a long time, he’s a good guy but he needs someone to convince him of that.” He slid the comic book across the glass counter toward me. “You’re the superhero, you’ll figure it out.”
10
Victoria
“I am so excited for you! An internship with Jonny Ng is huge!”
I thought if I made an effort to stay upbeat and infuse my tone with lots of exclamation points, it would cover how flustered I was. I was nineteen, not fourteen. Judging by the effect that Anthony always had on me, you’d think I’d never even been kissed before. I had, and it was nice each time. Nice.