“But you’re talking to me now. Ball’s back in your court, Code-meister.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s flirtin’ time! Bring it on. Hit me with your best moves, lines…whatever floats your boat.”
Cody shook his head furiously. “No, I’m—I’m not good at that.”
“I am.”
“I can tell.”
“Then use me.” I threw my arms open wide and gave him a Cheshire cat grin. “I’m a great flirt. Gold-medal caliber. I’ll teach you a trick or two before I head out.”
“That’s very generous of you,” he snarked.
I nodded. “I know, right? And look at you. You’re already flirtin’. The boy’s a natural!”
“No. No, I wasn’t flirt—ooh, I get it. Teasing is part of flirting.”
“It can be. It’s all in your tone of voice and your body language.”
He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “I see.”
“You know, you’re thinking too hard. Flirting is a free-form sport. It’s all about trusting your instincts and staying in the moment. There’s no script.”
“A script! Yes. That’s a great idea.” Cody pulled his cell from his pocket and typed a quick message.
“No. Bad idea. Put your phone away, hotshot. Now, look at me. Remember, body language matters. You’ve got to make and maintain eye contact. But you also need to lean in a little,” I instructed. “Give it a try.”
He wiped his palms on his thighs, sucked in a deep breath, and licked his lips before teetering into my personal space.
“What should I say?”
“Give me a compliment. First thing that pops into your mind.”
“You have pretty eyes,” he said, fluttering his lashes.
Don’t laugh, don’t laugh. I pursed my lips and bit the inside of my cheek, hoping to keep the floodgate intact.
“Thank—ha! I’m sorry, but that was terrible, honey. Try again.” I set my hand on his knee and squeezed. “This time, don’t give me those baby blues. This isn’t about you. A good flirt makes it about the other person. Show me what you got.”
“No, thanks.” He twisted to face forward and primly picked up his cocktail.
I smiled. This guy was fucking adorable. I tipped back the last of my beer and observed the rigid set of his shoulders and his tight-lipped expression.
“Hmm, you’re kinda sassy, aren’t you?”
He set his glass down and gaped at me. “Sassy? Are you for real? I rescind my compliment. You don’t have pretty eyes. Grr, that’s not true. You do. But you’re too…too…”
“Too what? Keep going. We’re cooking with butter now, baby. Don’t stop,” I encouraged, circling my wrist like a director on a movie set.
“Too cool. I don’t do well with cool.”
“Me? I’m not cool. I’m just…good at faking it. And the one thing I’ve learned is that sincerity matters. It’s best to say something you think is true about the other person.”
“You want me to tell you what I really think of you?”
I grinned. “The nice stuff. Remember…this is just practice.”
“Okay, um…you have beautiful eyes. In fact, you’re easily the most handsome man I’ve ever met. You’re funny and you seem nice and—”
“Oops. You’re losing steam.”
“How?”
“Well, telling a guy he’s handsome is good, but following it up with ‘nice’ is a buzzkill. Better to stick to a theme and keep rolling, you know?”
“A theme…like body parts. Okay.” Cody furrowed his brow. “You’re muscular and your beard is…sexy. I wonder what it would feel like if you rubbed it against my—never mind. Wow, erase the last thirty seconds of my life, please.” He reached for his glass with a trembling hand.
“Against your…what?” I leaned in, lowering my voice for his ears only in a deeper than usual timbre. “Your cheek, your lips, your thighs…your ass?”
“My…my…” he sputtered. “Really?”
“Sure.” I rubbed my bearded chin and nodded. “Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it.”
Cody shook his head vehemently. “Definitely not.”
I chuckled. “How about licking your ass?”
He stared at me for a long moment. I expected him to tell me I was out of line…and I was. Disgusting? Also possible. What I didn’t expect was for him to say, “Are you referring to the cheek or the actual anus?”
I busted up laughing. Seriously, busted up. I hooted as I wiped a tear from the corner of my eye. I noted a few curious glances aimed our way. Cody did too, but he didn’t back down or try to retract his inquiry. He awaited clarification…like a true scientist.
“The latter,” I said. “If you’ve never tried it, I highly suggest adding it to your sexy-time repertoire. You won’t be sorry.”
“Hmm. There are a lot of nerve endings in that area. I suppose it makes sense.”
“Yep. The pudendal nerve branches to the dorsal nerve in the male and female anatomy. For a man, the close proximity of the prostate to the anus makes it especially…enjoyable.” I shot a mischievous smile his way before tipping back the last of my beer.
“Whoa. You either memorized this passage on WebMD or you’ve done intensive study regarding—”
“I’m a med school dropout,” I admitted, shifting on my barstool to pull my wallet from my pocket.
“Really?”
“Yep. I’m the human equivalent of a guide dog who didn’t quite make the cut. Written exams were a breeze for me, but I struggled with the big stuff. And I internalize too much.” I tapped my temple and handed my card to the bartender when I realized I’d blown all my cash on a tip earlier. “A good doctor has to compartmentalize. I suck at that.”
“I see. But why are you afraid to get medical assistance now? Knowledge is power.”
“True. I guess it’s a personal flaw. I learned the hard way that it’s best to emphasize the positive, follow your passions, and live the hell out of your life,” I replied, nodding my thanks to the bartender, then scribbling my name on the receipt.
“Good advice, but it helps if you can see what you’re doing. You put the tip in the wrong place.”
“I never put the tip in the wrong place,” I rasped with a wink.
“Oh, I get it. Sexual innuendo. However, you did write the numerical tip incorrectly.” He pointed at the line above my signature meaningfully.
I scowled. “I meant to do that.”
“Mmmhmm.”
I gave him serious side-eye as I pushed the receipt away. “You’re humming. What does that mean?”
“Nothing. It’s just that…you’re not what I thought.”
“How so?”
“You’re smart.”
“You thought I was dumb?”
“No, not at all. But I assumed you were more…how should I put this? Worldly rather than book smart.” He smiled tentatively, then added, “Maybe you’re both.”