“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks.
God, what is it with her? What is it about her that I want to keep and hold onto?
“I made some decisions not long ago based on facts. Turns out those facts weren’t right. I messed up somewhere along the line,” I tell her honestly. The thought of him, Chris, dying in there that day hurts. I never wanted that for him. He didn’t deserve to die the way he did.
“I don’t get it,” she says shaking her head before bringing her beer to her lips. Fuck, those lips are all I want right now. I don’t want to discuss how I screwed up with her, but if there was anyone I could do it with, it’s her.
“I gave an order based on things I was told. Those things weren’t true. People that shouldn’t have gotten hurt…well, they did and that’s on me now.”
“But if you got the wrong facts, that isn’t your fault,” she says, reaching for my hand and taking it in hers. That surge of power I feel with her storms through me.
“It is, though. I should have double checked, fuck, triple checked!” The growl that leaves my throat doesn’t even scare her. Is she that used to my outbursts already?
“Things happen, Sly. Accidents happen. You can’t blame yourself for something you didn’t know about.”
“Yeah, I can. He was a damn good person. He was a friend. Hell, he knew me better than anyone at the clubhouse.” Fuck, why can’t I stop the guilt that’s eating me alive?
“Things happen to good people, Sly. I would know!” That’s it. My resolve cracks at her words. My heart splinters into a million useless pieces. Setting my beer to the side, I grab her and pull her into my arms.
“I’m sorry, Fab. Shit, I wasn’t even thinkin’.”
“Don’t say sorry. You had something terrible happen to you too. It’s life. It sucks and it hurts, but we have to keep going, right?”
Pressing my lips to the side of her head, I sigh. “I suppose so. Just wish things were different.”
“Me too, but they aren’t, and we can’t change that.” Keeping her wrapped up in my arms, I glance out at the sky.
“Sun’s goin’ down. Watch,” I tell her. Fab scoots back, settling herself against me as we watch the sun slowly go down. We sit in silence long after it’s gone too. The darkness wraps us in its embrace, holding us hostage to its stillness and we let it. Both of us are in our own little world. Both thinking back on something that hurt us.
“Thank you for bringing me,” she whispers.
“Thank you for comin’. I didn’t really want to be alone on this trip.”
“Why is that?” she asks, turning her head to look up at me under the moonlight.
“I lost a piece of my heart, Fab. I think I needed you to remind me there is still some left.” When the words leave my mouth, she inches closer. Her lips caress mine in a soft gentle kiss.
Chapter Eleven
My hips sway to the music as I stand in front of the stove. Last night with Sly was magical. He kissed me, held me, made love to me under the stars. It was everything I could have ever asked for. My feelings for Sly are growing rapidly and that scares me. I’ve dropped little comments about what his club does, but he always shuts me down. I’m having a hard time getting any information from him, and that’s not going to look good for me. Yet, I play the part, although playing isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. The attraction I feel toward him is real. It’s the realest thing I’ve ever felt in my life and I’m starting to think that Deb was right. This might kill me in the end.
“You look good in my shirt,” he says in a deep husky tone. I look over my shoulder and smile as his eyes roam my body.
“I didn’t want to wear mine,” I add.
“Good thing. I like this better. What are you doin’?” he asks as he scratches at his chest.
“Making breakfast.”
“I didn’t bring you along to be my personal chef,” he says sexily.
“I thought I was here to be at your beck and call?” I tease him watching him chuckle before moving toward me.
“Not even close. I like when you’re here, darlin’.” His hands wrap around my waist as he pulls me into his hard body. I sigh and lean my head back against him.
“Thank you for last night,” I whisper. His lips press into the side of my head before he pulls the spatula from my hand.
“Don’t thank me. I wish I could give you that every night,” he says before stepping around me to finish cooking. I watch his back, the way his muscles move. The giant skull with flaming eyes. The words Soulless Bastards emblazoned across his flesh. With each movement, I find myself a little more intrigued by the tattoo. Sly doesn’t even move when I step closer, running my fingers over the design.
“Why the skull?”
“We’re soulless. What could better portray that than a lifeless skull?” His chuckle vibrates through his whole body.
“I don’t think you’re soulless, Sly.”
“No? Then you ain’t lookin’ hard enough, sweetheart.” I sigh and take a step back, sitting at the table while he fills our plates and walks over. Setting them on the table, he takes the seat across from me.
“Your club looks up to you.” He nods.
“Some days they probably shouldn’t.”
“Why not? You seem like a strong leader.”
“Yeah. I thought so too until recently. Shit changes, yeah? You do things you regret. You hurt people you never meant to hurt. It’s a never endin’ shit storm.” His phone rings and it shocks me that he even has service out here. He just smirks and slides it out to answer it.
“Yeah?”
I take the time to eat and study him. The scruff on his jaw, the way his lips curl. He’s gorgeous. I’m enjoying my meal when his eyes jerk to mine. Something dark flashes in them before it’s gone seconds later. He finishes up his call and grabs his fork.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
“Yeah. All good.” He’s short and won’t look me in the eye. I can’t even begin to imagine what that phone call was about. Thoughts take over my mind as I watch him without words. We both finish and I clean up when he walks back up the steps and out into the morning sunlight. After I finish doing the dishes I walk up and join him. His eyes are distant as he gazes out at the water.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’ve done a lot of things in my past, things that hurt people. I always knew some of that shit would come back on me, yeah?” He finally turns to look at me and I can see pain in his eyes. I walk closer when he stops me, throwing his hand in the air. “You lied to me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, who are you Fab? Huh? Who the hell are you?” he roars. He shoves to his feet and moves toward me quickly. His hands land on my shoulders holding me tightly.
“What are you doing?” I ask with wide eyes. My heart beats rapidly in my chest as I suck in much needed air. His eyes are dark. Darker than I’ve ever seen them before, and it scares me.
“You know what we use these boats for, Fab?” His eyes are blazing right now and a shudder races down my spine. I shake my head slowly, watching the smirk curl his lips. “They aren’t just for a good time.”