Cole: Great. Look forward to it.
I smile. Maybe Cole has changed since high school. He’ll be a good distraction at the very least.
I grab my guitar case and my notebook and head out to find my thinking rock. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but ever since I was a kid, there’s this rock behind our property that I would use as my secret thinking location. The only person I ever told about it was Tyson.
I pull up to the house. It’s tented and looks more like a circus than a house. I shrug and grab my things as I traipse through the snow down to the woods and my rock. It takes a few minutes to get there, but it’s worth every step. I lay down a blanket that my dad had in the car, and I settle in with my song. I need something good, something true.
Nine
Tyson
“I’ll go get it,” I huff as I grab my coat from the office. We had a new sign made for the shop, and someone needs to pick it up. I begrudgingly agree, although I sort of want out of here for a little while. My head is swimming with thoughts of Brittany, my accident, my life.
I drive down to the sign shop. On my way back, I take the long road up the mountain. I need more time to clear my head. As I drive past Brit’s house, I see her car parked there. I slow down and pull into the driveway. I don’t know what I’m doing. But I need to see her, to talk to her. It’s like she’s a flame and I’m a moth.
Getting out, I look up at the tented house. There’s no way she’s inside that thing.
“Brit?” I say loudly as I round the house, but the yard is empty. In the distance, I swear I can hear a guitar. And then it dawns on me. She’s at her spot.
She showed me this rock once. It’s about a quarter mile from the house, deep in the woods. It has an amazing view of the valley. She said she liked to go there and think.
I follow the melodic sound of her instrument until I find her. She’s sitting on the rock. I can’t make out the words she sings as she’s nearly whispering them. I watch her for just a moment, taking in her beauty. She’s utter perfection. Her eyes closed as she sings. Her cheeks pink from the cold.
“Brit?” I finally say, and she jumps and turns to face me.
“Jesus! You almost gave me a heart attack!”
“Sorry. I... well, I was picking something up down the mountain and saw your car here,” I try to explain. She looks at me in confusion. “What are you singing? A new song?”
She nods. “Just something I’m working on.” She quickly shuts her notebook and places it and the guitar back in the case. “I should probably get going and check on Niko.”
“How’s he doing?”
“He’s good. He’s going to be just fine. Thanks.”
“Good.” I step closer and sit down next to her, staring out at the valley. She squirms next to me, and I get a whiff of her perfume. Her hip touches me, and I can feel her warmth. It’s all so familiar. It feels like coming home.
“I take it you were on your way somewhere. You probably should get going.” she states.
“I am, but I have a few minutes to spare,” I reply as I turn to her. She blushes and looks down.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, and her eyes meet mine.
“W-What? Why?” Her eyes flash with more confusion.
I reach out and caress her face with my gloved hand, wishing I could feel her skin beneath mine. “I’m sorry for hurting you, Superstar.”
Her eyes glance back down at her lap. “It was a long time ago, Ty.”
I push under her chin, and she gazes at me again. “I’m sorry. I was young and stupid. I thought I was protecting you.”
She pulls back. “Protecting me from what?”
I sigh. “From me, from having to have a boyfriend that was never here, that was always busy.”
“But all I wanted was you,” she states bitterly.
“And I wasn’t here for you. No one could’ve had me. I was too... too busy and wrapped up in my Olympic dreams.”
She turns and zips up her bag. “I would have waited,” she murmurs as she stands up to leave.
I jump up and block her path. “I know you would have. But I couldn’t ask you to do that. You have dreams, too.”
“But you never gave me the choice to decide for myself,” she says and jams a finger at my chest. “You decided for both of us.”
“I did. And I can’t take it back, but if I could, I would,” I reply as I grab her head in my hands and kiss her.
She doesn’t move as I press my lips to hers. They warm under mine, and after a second she sighs, allowing my tongue free reign of her mouth. I taste her for the first time in way too long. And she tastes just as sweet as I remembered.
She drops her guitar case in the snow, letting her arms wrap around my middle as my hands hold her face. I don’t feel anything except her, not the snow, the cold, the wind, nothing but Brittany. Our warm breaths mingle in the cool air, surrounding us in our own personal cloud. I groan as I deepen our kiss.
She pulls back suddenly. Her hand flying to her lips.
“I’m sorry. I... shit, I’m sorry.” She has a look of anguish on her face.
“Brit, I kissed you. There’s nothing to be sorry about. When are we going to stop dancing around this thing,” I motion between us, “that’s clearly still between us?”
She shakes her head. “No. There’s nothing between us. That’s over. It ended when you walked out of my life.” I watch as a single tear falls on her cheek, and it might as well be a knife plunging into my heart.
I reach out to pull her back to me, but she jumps away.
“No. We can’t do this. I can’t do this. Not again.”
And it hits me. She’s protecting herself. I hurt her so badly that she reacts to me like a hand touching a hot pan. I can’t blame her.
“Brit, I won’t hurt you. I never met to hurt you.”
“I know,” she answers as another tear falls on her cheek. “But you did.”
And with that she steps around me and walks back up to her house, leaving me standing there. This time she’s the one who walked away. And the bitter irony of that hits me right in my chest.
Brittany
I run to my car without looking back. I toss my guitar in the passenger seat and take off without a second thought. Ty just kissed me. I kissed Ty. What does that mean? Do I still love him like that? Could we ever be together again? Would I want to be together with him again?
No. No. No. I shake my head as more tears fall down my cheeks. I swipe at them angrily. I won’t let my feelings get the best of me.
The resort comes into view, and I decide I need a distraction. I park the car, feed Niko, and grab my skis and gear. I’d brought them just in case, and this was definitely “just in case.”
I head to the ski lift and go up the mountain. I hear my phone ping, but I don’t bother checking it. I need to get away from everything, and this mountain girl hasn’t skied in forever.
I pull down my goggles and hop off the lift. I decide on a black diamond run. I’ve done it plenty of times before, so it shouldn’t matter if I’m a little out of practice. I need to focus on something other than Ty, music, or my messed-up life.