Brayden winced. “But you—”
“No. Don’t make excuses for me. That’s what happened. Do you want to know how I did it? Would that make it more real for you?”
“Nathan,” Kyle whispered as my voice got louder.
Brayden shook his head. “No.”
“She has every right to be angry with me. She has every right to be angry with us. You all know what I did to her. Why are you still my friends?” Neither Kyle nor Brayden responded. “It’s not complicated. It’s really simple. And what we’re not about to do is run around bad-mouthing her behind her back after everything I’ve already put her through. You both have been in relationships before. Imagine someone you truly love dying. Now imagine your friends dragging you away from that or someone else you care about hurting you in such an unforgivable way. We are just a bunch of rich kids who are suddenly not getting everything they want, but this is real for Cherri. Why wouldn’t she be angry?”
“I get it,” Brayden said.
“Do you?” I barked. “Sometimes, I wonder. You’re so spoiled and self-centered and oblivious to what’s going on around you. Did you expect her to come pal around with us like she did before? Forgive me and get back together with me after all that?” I couldn’t pinpoint why I was getting so angry. Was it because I believed that Brayden was spoiled and inconsiderate, or was it because he reminded me of myself?
“No, I—”
“You need to stop. Everything that’s happened to us, all this pain and misfortune, it’s my fault, and I’m not going to let you make it worse for anyone. This is not just immature relationships in high school gone wrong. This is real shit we’re dealing with. Do you get that?”
“I do,” Brayden said weakly. “I was… I thought if I just acted normal, things would go back to normal. That’s how we were before.”
That notion shot through me like a burning arrow. Right. Brayden was emulating me. He wasn’t doing anything that he hadn’t seen me do already. It was still my fault.
I took a deep breath to calm myself and looked Brayden directly in the eyes. “Look. I’m sorry. I set a precedent for you that I shouldn’t have. It’s time for you to start thinking for yourself and not follow my lead because I’m obviously no example of how to be.” I sighed. “You’re going to be king next year. You gotta start acting like it.”
A small smile grew on Brayden’s face. “Yeah. I will. I promise. I’m sor—”
“No, don’t. Don’t apologize to me anymore, okay? I’m sorry.”
Brayden nodded. “Okay.” It was plain to see that he was near tears, so when he stood up and softly said, “I have to use the bathroom,” neither Kyle nor I stopped him.
My heart broke as he went, and I was frustrated with myself for getting so angry. “I can’t fucking get it together,” I huffed. “It’s not his fault that shit went crazy. Why am I yelling at him?”
“We’re all just a little stressed out right now,” Kyle said. “And I know you don’t really want to talk about it, but I think you need to…deal with your mom.”
Having him mention it again brought a lump to my throat. “I’ve dealt with it.”
“No, you haven’t.” He put his hands up. “There’s a lot you haven’t dealt with. Until you do, you’re going to keep having these outbursts and not really knowing what to do with yourself. Besides, do you really intend for Brayden to run The Royal Court next year?”
I shrugged. “Why shouldn’t he?”
“I’m not answering that. You know the responsibilities involved.”
“What responsibilities?” I asked. “The Royal Court is nothing but a bunch of rich kids exercising a power they shouldn’t have. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t mean anything, so if he wants to run it, and if it would make him happy to run it, then I’m gonna let him run it.”
“So that’s what you’re doing? You’re Santa now because you made a few mistakes?” Kyle asked.
“You say it like there’s something wrong with that. I can’t give you guys your lives back. I can’t un-blackmail Alistair, and I can’t take back having yelled at Brayden just now. I can’t undo what I’ve done, and you guys didn’t deserve any of it. What’s so wrong with doing a little giving?”
Kyle shook his head. “I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Then don’t,” I replied.
“But you—”
“Sorry about that,” Brayden said as he returned to the table. “Hey, since I’m gonna be king next year, can I run some of my thoughts for new court members by you guys?”
“Sure,” I said, and Kyle nodded along.
“Okay. Here’s what I’m thinking. You know that girl that is president of my class? Well, I thought she could be one. Maybe the queen? What do you think, Nathan? She’s pretty.”
Before I could respond, my phone started ringing in my pocket. I pulled it out right away, thinking it could be Nikita, but what I saw was much weirder.
“Who is it?” Kyle asked. “Nikita?”
“No, he looks disturbed,” Brayden said. “Is it Cherri?”
My phone was ringing in my hand, and the screen was blank to let me know someone was calling, but there was no name or number on the screen, just the option to answer or decline the call. It made me immediately nervous, thinking it could be my dad, so I planned to let it ring out, but it kept ringing far beyond the time a normal call would.
“It’s an unknown number,” I said.
“Are you gonna get it?” Kyle asked.
“I have to,” I said. “It won’t stop ringing.” I fished my wallet out of my pocket, but Kyle caught my arm. “Let me pay for it.”
“I got it,” Kyle said. “You don’t even know how much to leave.”
“I’ll just leave enough to definitely cover it.”
Kyle side-eyed me. “Just go.” With my phone still ringing in my hand and me not having the time or energy to argue, I relented, and Kyle smiled over at Brayden. “Besides. I want dessert anyway. Their cheesecake is awesome. I know that’s why you brought us here.”
Brayden snickered with an eye roll. “Nope.” He lifted the dessert menu. “But we should get some, just in case.”
Confident that Kyle would smooth over my leaving, I pushed my wallet back into my pocket and left the restaurant. My phone continued to ring the entire time it took me to leave the restaurant and get into my car. Once I was safely inside with my doors closed and locked, I finally answered the call.
“Hello?” I said.
“Hey,” a familiar voice replied. “It’s me.”
7
Nathan
Even though I had been hoping to hear this voice only a few hours ago, it felt like it’d been months.
“Deon.” I was unsure of how he’d managed to call me from an unknown number that just kept ringing until answered, but there were so many other questions swirling around in my brain that I didn’t think I’d get to that one. “Hey. Uh, how are you?”