Plus, the idea of two hot as sin men getting one another off is pretty sexy, too. Is Ro the top, or is it in Knox's fun-loving nature that he takes control? Or do they take turns? Oh, do I want to know. And I want all these ideas, thoughts, and desires flashing through my mind. I slip one finger down past the hem of my underwear and start at my clit. The vibrator would be faster, but with my fingers, I can last longer.
I can see the look of lust vividly on Ro’s face as Knox’s lips wrap around the tip of his cock. In my mind, Knox’s cock is long and a little leaner than Ro’s, but certainly wide enough to fill me up. Ro’s would be not quite as long but wider, stretching me fully.
All this flashes through my mind as I use my other hand to finger-fuck myself. Even though I desire Knox’s fingers inside me as I watch him give Ro the blowjob of the century. Sure, these positions may not work in real life, but this is why it’s my fantasy.
My fingers, as I imagine they’re the sexy duo from next door, are bringing me close to ecstasy. In my fantasy, their faces are now over me, telling me to let go, to give in, and hell, do I ever give in. I come so hard, but my moans have to be contained because I don’t want any unnecessary questions from my nosy sister in the morning. Could I give in to these two men, so quick and so easy? And never be ashamed. I’ve never had a man who could own me like I know they would. I’ve never had a man treasure me as I think they would. And boy, do I want it all with them.
Murphy’s law is the bitch it’s always been, and this has to be the worst timing, too. My court date for legal guardianship of Whitney is four days before Christmas. I can’t imagine that my uptight social worker, Cassie, who has her bun pinned in the most restricting way, would find a ménage à trois a suitable relationship.
I peer over at the alarm clock, reading 3:30 a.m. I’ve laid here for over four hours, thinking of what my neighbors revealed to me. But I don’t know—could it have been a slip of the tongue? Hell, if I were to wager a guess, I’d say sharing their desires with me was intentional on both their parts.
Desire and chemistry—I certainly feel that with both men. Cherished and respected and more. But I’d have no idea what goes into this said triad they speak of. My stomach tightened even at the understood connotation when our eyes were on the three adults and the sweet little boy.
Tugging at the switch on the lamp, I grab my phone, adjusting my eyes to the light from the pitch black. Pushing up in my bed, I cover up with a part of my quilt.
Typing in ménage à trois, I’m directed to the term polyamorous relationships and select it immediately. The first part of this article defines the term polyamory. I read it out loud as though hearing it from my mouth to my ears would help me to understand it better. “Polyamory is practicing or being open to intimate relationships with more than one person. In this day and age, more couples consent to bring another person into their committed relationships, thus being loyal to all three. This is called a triad, where all three members are committed to one another.”
I sit and stew on this for a moment, and it had been how they described their friends from college. It’s funny, though. I’d think this was insane at best if it wasn’t for Rowan and Knox suggesting it.
And they’d never seen each other fully committed to another female, though they are still attracted to women. And what’s most insane about this idea they’ve placed into my now very active imagination is I’ve known them for what—a week?
Thoughts of both men and the differences between them satisfy many distinct points I find attractive. Rowan is a scholar and can hold a deep conversation, both teaching me things without going fully over my head yet stimulating my mind. Knox is creative, amusing, and witty. His ability to light the room with his mere presence is only one of the breathtaking things about him. Their outward appearances also create a different palate for me that I find irresistible. Knox's light blond hair, trimmed short around the edges, and the ink running down his arms and chest are sexy as sin. And I can’t forget the smile, the broad, breathtaking grin overtaking his entire face. Then there’s Rowan. His thick black hair with a little premature gray, sits above his ears and the azure of his eyes pulling me in as I hang on his every word are again only a small portion of what I find overwhelming when it comes to them.
My text pings in the middle of my thoughts, pulling me back to the reality where getting involved with two men is still a very, very bad idea. Yet my lips pull into a large smirk I know is taking over my face at the name on the text.
Knox: I probably sound like a creeper. But I’ve been up all night. I think we scared the hell out of you. I got up to have a little leftover pasta because I eat when I can’t sleep. I happened to look outside and saw your light on. Are you okay? You left so quickly, and we regret like fuck scaring you.
If I didn’t already have a good read on both men, I’d certainly deduce Knox was a creeper. But I’ve never connected with someone, as I do with both of them. Not even my last boyfriend.
Me: Yeah, you sort of do sound like a creeper. But it’s okay. Thanks for checking in on me. It’s nice to know someone out there cares.
The dots appear immediately after my text, and my stomach clenches at more interaction with him tonight.
Knox: Why are you awake?
Me: I couldn’t sleep.
I’m not going into logistics because it would open the door to something I can’t handle. Not when my sister is more important than my lust of two men in the here and now.
Knox: Did we upset you?
Me: No, of course not.
Knox: Did you understand what we meant?
Well, hell, they couldn’t have been more clear, even if they tried.
Me: Sort of, but the idea of three in a relationship is a little confusing.
It honestly isn’t because it’s still on my phone, and I’d been reading it to myself before his text. I just don’t want to admit how much I both understand it and want it.
Knox: We’ve never been attracted to a girl like we are with you. Sure, we’ve shared girls before, but it was just because we wanted one night with them. But with you, we can see more.
Why do his words— thinking of them with another female—cause me to become all hot and bothered yet fill me with a rage of jealousy all at the same time?
Me: I see. So I’d be one night.
I know it’s not what he said, but I don’t know how to respond because my brain isn’t working.
Knox: Avery, that isn’t what I said. It was the exact opposite.
Me: Can we go back to how things were before you dropped this bombshell on me?
Knox: Have we disgusted you?
Fuck no. And the wetness between my legs certainly proves the exact opposite.
Me: No, but I don’t have the luxury to take part in something like this, even if my heart desires it. I have the custody hearing for my sister and final home inspections, too. I can’t risk my own selfish desires for the welfare of Whitney.
Knox: You’re certainly the least selfish person, and no one would have to know. You have needs, too. And I know you want us.
Me: Please, don’t bring it up again.
I wince at my own words. I mean, I had felt it, and I almost forced it out of them in my line of questioning, but wanting something as forbidden as both these men’s hands on me is more than I’m willing to risk if it means sacrificing my sister.