I half-laughed at myself as I thought about those thoughts in my head. Was I going crazy? Did I really think and want Tyler to be in my life in that way? And honestly I didn't know the answer to that. Maybe I did and maybe I didn't. I was attracted to him. I did have fun with him. We had banter that I've never had with anyone else, but part of that was due to the fact that we've grown up together. Our childhoods had been together.
His family and my family were friends. His parents were the most amazing people I knew outside of my family. And it didn't matter that I was black and that he was white, and we came from two different worlds because at the end of the day we came from the same world. I'd never looked at him as a white man, and I don't think he'd ever looked at me as a black woman. I just looked at him as Tyler, my brother's best friend, my tormenter, my first crush, and I think he just looked at me as Olivia, his best friend's little sister, the annoying little brat that would tell on him when he did something bad. And that was really cool. That was really special. That was something that you didn't find every day.
"Oh, my gosh, Olivia," I whispered under my breath, "Stop thinking about Tyler."
I knew that I couldn't keep thinking about him. I knew that I needed to focus on the night. I looked around at the guys that were waiting for the dates, and I determined to myself that I was going to find at least one of them attractive and go on a date with them. I had to. I needed to go on a date with someone new to get my mind off of him. And hopefully by opening myself up to someone new, I’d find the love of my life.
Chapter 10
Tyler
"Tyler, man. What are you doing?"
"I'm just here, hanging out at Olivia's place."
"Why don't you come and get a drink with me and Tiffany?" Derrick's voice boomed down the phone and I could hear the sound of laughter in the background.
"No, it's okay. I'm comfortable here. I'm just on the couch watching TV."
"Come on man. You cannot sit in my sister's apartment tonight while she goes out speed dating, by yourself. Come on. Do you want to be a loser?"
"No, I don't want to be a loser, but I also don't want to be the third wheel with you and Tiffany."
"Tyler, come on. Let's have some fun. I've barely seen you at all in the last two years." "You know, I've been busy with work." I said quickly, not wanting him to question me too much.
"I know. But there was a period of like nine months that I didn't see you at all. "You need to quit that job or something, it's coming between you and your life."
"It's not coming between me and my life. It is my life. That's how I make money."
"How much money do you need? What's the point of having a lot of money, if you have no life?"
"Well, I have a life and that's really all there is to it. Okay, I got to go Derrick." I hung up quickly and sat back on the couch. I could feel that sweat was coming down my forehead. Our conversation had hit a nerve. Derrick didn't know my secret and a part of me was ashamed that I’d kept it from him. How could I have not told my best friend? How could I have let him think that my being so busy these last two years had been all about work? I knew that if I told him he'd be upset and he'd be worried. And I didn't want that for my friend. I’d wanted him to continue living his life and I was better now, so did it really matter that I hadn’t told him?
I felt conflicted so I jumped up off of the couch and looked out of the window. I could hear the sound of sirens and cars going past, people were talking as they walked down the street. Derrick was right. I shouldn't just sit in Olivia's apartment, waiting for her to come home, wondering what was happening at the speed-dating event. I couldn’t spend the evening wondering if she was going to meet someone. I needed to be proactive. If I wanted Olivia to be my girl, I needed to make sure that she knew it. An idea came to my head and I grabbed my phone quickly. I searched Google for speed dating events in San Francisco, and four popped up. I was going to have to find each and every one of these events and see which one Olivia was attending. I had to make sure that she didn't go home with another man. Her friend Birdy seemed like she was a bad influence. And I knew I couldn't trust her to stop Olivia from making bad decisions.
I knew Olivia would kill me if she knew what I was planning on doing, but I didn't care. Sometimes you had to fight dirty when it came to love. And I was fast realizing that Olivia was someone that was in my heart and I wanted a real future with her. I hurried to the bathroom and brushed my hair and put on some cologne. I looked at my reflection and wondered if I should change. I was wearing a gray t-shirt and jeans. I didn't look bad, but I didn't exactly look like the sort of guy that someone would want a date. I pulled off my t-shirt really quickly and paused as I looked at the definition I’d lost in my chest. I was looking even gaunter than I thought. I’d have to pick it up at the gym.
Olivia hadn't noticed just how skinny I’d gotten, thank God. I turned around and walked over to my bag and pulled out a crisp white shirt and put it on, and then I walked back to the bathroom to look at my reflection in the mirror. Okay, the jeans didn't look so bad with the white shirt, now. This would do. I looked good, I looked hot. I looked like someone Olivia couldn't say no to. I hurried out at the building, grabbing the keys off of the side of the table before I left. Olivia would kill me if I walked out without the spare pair of keys, and had no way to get back in.
I looked at the different addresses in Google Maps and decided to go to the speed-dating event that was closest. That would be smart for Olivia to do. I mean, why wouldn't she go to the speed-dating event that was close to her house? But then I remembered she was going with her friend Birdy and I had no idea where Birdy lived. If Birdy had chosen the venue, then it could very easily be one that was further away. I hurried to the first venue, which was an old pub that sat on the corner of a dirty looking street. As soon as I walked in, I knew that this was not going to be the location that Olivia and Birdy were at. It was loud and noisy, and looked like there were a lot of frat guys. And I knew that wasn't Olivia's crowd. I gave a quick survey of the room just to make sure she wasn't there and then headed out. Okay. I looked at Google Maps again and saw that the next venue was about a 10-minute walk away and was about to start.
I found myself jogging because I really wanted to get there before anything happened that I had no control over. Not that I could just barge in and stop Olivia from dating, no. But I could sit by the side, observe and see how things were going. I didn't know if I wanted Olivia to see me there, but if we accidentally bumped into each other at the end of the event, well, who could help that? She knew that I liked to drink and well, there weren't that many bars in San Francisco that it would be totally inconceivable that I would end up at the same one as her event.
I walked into the next venue, which was a small bar, and restaurant and I realized that this one place seemed pretty dead. There were four guys and four girls standing in opposite corners. All of them looked miserable. Nope. This wasn't the place. I hurried out and looked at the next address that I had to go to. Thank God, it was only two blocks away. I ran and then came to another bar. This place looked like it was more upscale. And I had a good feeling.