"I don’t want to get in the way of your couple time," I replied. I shot one last look over my shoulder at Mark before I headed into the house. I wanted them to wonder about me for the rest of the night, try to read into my glances and my words, the way I interacted with them. I wanted to be irresistible for them both. I felt like I was drunk on it, the sheer power of being wanted as badly as they wanted me.
"Well, if you feel like interrupting us again," Mark called after me, "feel free."
"Will do," I replied, then walked out of the pool area and back into the house, closing the door behind me and leaning on it for a moment. My fingertips were on fire, the soles of my feet were prickling with lust and passion. I could feel it coming off them in waves, and even now, I wanted to go back to them and take them up on the offer they had made.
I had a feeling that the self-love tips Cara had shared with me were going to be very useful now that I was back by myself once more.
Chapter 10
How badly do you want it?
There I was at the bar, staring around, trying to catch someone’s eyes. I didn’t care who at that point. I just wanted a man, a man to notice me, to come near me.
I felt like I was going crazy. Being with a woman, it turned out, had only heightened my desire to be with a man. I needed to feel a cock inside of me. Not one of the plastic, detachable ones Cara kept in her bedside cabinet. I needed something real, flesh and blood, the look in his eyes as he took me.
I had been coming out to the bar nearly every single night, and I’d had nothing but bad luck in finding someone to hook up with. I knew how to flirt, that wasn’t the issue. It was getting them to take it a step further I was struggling with.
The problem was, I thought my virginity would be more of an appeal. Donna told me it would be, and I supposed in some distant fantasy, that was true. But when it came to actually taking my virginity, they had very different ideas.
"Oh, I’m not looking for someone to get attached to," one of the men had told me like I was just a time bomb waiting to go off. I fought the urge to roll my eyes at him. I wasn’t going to lose my mind as soon as someone put their dick near me, but everyone was treating me that way, and I couldn’t take it any longer.
So, I lay in bed with my hand down my panties, trying to bring about pleasure. I could make myself come, but it wasn’t anything like the power I knew a good, hard fuck would have given me.
I hadn’t been with a man since before Cara, and I needed one close to me. Thom had been avoiding me nearly across the board since I had come back, and frankly, I had accepted hooking up with him would likely have been a shitty deal for me anyway. He was so much older than me, and he was my stepdad’s friend--I couldn’t imagine anything good could come from getting with him. Plus, there was some part of me that remembered how much it had hurt me when Donna slept with my stepdad. I didn’t want to inflict that on her.
But that didn’t mean I had discounted that from the occasion entirely.
In fact, there was still some part of me that wanted to remind her just how bad what she had done to me had been. She’d thrust me into the world of sex and sexuality by fucking my stepdad in the room next to mine. I still had that image burned on to my memory like a brand and it was her fault, all her fault. Yes, I was mad at her about it. Yes, I was pissed. So, when it came to choosing the man I was going to lose it to, someone kept playing on my thoughts. Someone I knew I didn’t want to deny a moment longer.
I could remember the way Mark had been looking at me when I told about what happened with Cara. He had been touching Donna, sure, but I could tell he wished his hands were all over me.
And maybe that’s what I needed. It would be just the kind of revenge that would teach Donna never to go near a member of my family again. And hey, it wasn’t like I would have much trouble tracking him down. He was always hanging around the house, and I was keen to see exactly how far he would take this little game.
I went to the kitchen to grab some orange juice to take to the pool, I noticed Mark was already there.
"Oh, hey," I greeted Mark, surprised. I was wearing a shawl draped over a bikini, having fully embraced the overheated-summer lifestyle, and I was distinctly aware of how exposed I was at that moment. He turned around, a beer in hand, and let his eyes sweep down and over me.
"I didn’t realize you and Donna were around," I remarked, cocking my head at him, letting my hair trail down over the bare skin of my shoulder.
"Donna’s not here," he replied. "She went out to grab some more beer."
"Just us then, huh?" A small smile flicked up the corners of his lips.
"Just us."
"How about you get me one of those beers?” I suggested, nodding to the one in his hand.
"This is the last one."
"Then I guess you’re just going to have to share," I replied, and reached over and took it from him. My mouth glided over the top. I took a long sip of the delicious amber liquid then handed it back to him. A little punch of victory went through me as I noticed the look on his face. His lips were slightly parted, as though he could hardly believe what I had just done, and I knew my boldness was getting to him.
It was easy to play this part when it came to being around a man--they projected onto you what they wanted to believe. All you had to do was stick it out and not get in the way of the fantasy they had created inside their heads. I could tell Mark wanted me, badly, but he had no clue how to speak that into existence. To him, I was some dirty, playful, untouchable bisexual girl who had done more with women than he could even imagine. That was going to make what came next pretty easy to achieve.
"Here, come with me," I told him. I nodded to the pool. "I think I need to cool off, don’t you?”
"Sure," he replied.
I sashayed outside and let my shawl drop to the ground. I slipped easily beneath the water, letting it rush over me and fill my mouth then swam to the other side of the pool till I could prop myself up on the edge. I looked over my shoulder and saw him watching me.
"You want to come in?” I asked. "The water’s perfect."
He took no more persuasion than that--he tossed off his shirt and dived beneath the water. I watched his muscles rippled as he cut through the water toward me. I couldn’t help but bite my lip. He was just so ... so delicious. I could already imagine what it would be like to touch him, caress him, slide my hands all over him. And knowing that he belonged to another woman just made it all the sweeter. I loved Donna, I did, but I was also mad at her for what she had done with my stepdad. I figured a little revenge wouldn’t have gone far amiss.
"So beautiful in here, isn’t it?” I asked as he moved toward me. I leaned up on the edge of the pool, slowly kicking my legs back and forth, keeping myself afloat. I saw his eyes flick down to my feet beneath the shimmering waves of the water. The sun was beating down on me but the heat I was getting off him was all that I needed.
"It really is," he replied, as he joined me against the edge of the pool.
"This was the first place we met, right?” I asked, deciding it was the time to bring up the eroticism of the very first time we had ever encountered each other.