“I’m heading out in a few days, right after my business trip, and Jonas will be driving up from his college campus in Nebraska at the same time. Jess and her family will be there later on, around Christmas Eve.”
Jonas would be at the cabin. In a few days. For Christmas.
Memories of my first kiss, my best kiss, infiltrated my mind, and for a moment I didn’t see the sign to the rental agencies, the impatient travelers stepping around me, or the arrival and departure displays.
I saw Jonas Brooks, under the gentle glow of Christmas tree lights, as he leaned in to kiss me. An ache flared in my chest as I remembered, too, the reason for that kiss. Not desire, not love. Pity.
I ruthlessly pushed away the memory.
I was no longer the sad boy Jonas felt sorry for one Christmas Eve, and I never wanted to be again. I was starting fresh, up in the Colorado mountains, and I was going to come through this season a stronger, more independent Quinn.
But first, I had to find my way out of the damn airport.
JONAS
I threw my duffel and laptop bag into the back of my Jeep Wrangler so I could leave directly after my last final and swung by the coffee shop on campus to fuel up on caffeine. I had a macroeconomics test, then six-plus hours in the car. I was going to need every drop of my large cortado. Hell, maybe I’d order a straight espresso shot to chase it down.
The scent of coffee and chocolate washed over me as I stepped into Javacology. I strolled up to the counter and placed my order. When I turned to wait for my drink, I caught sight of my former frat brother, Ace, and his boyfriend, Benji.
“Ace, you bum, get a job!” I called out.
Ace had graduated last spring, but he was around campus so often to see his boyfriend, you’d think he was still one of the students. He flipped me off from their little table by the window, and I laughed.
Benji had been my date once—barely. Ace had snatched him away before the night was through, acting like a dumbass knight in shining armor when Benji had too much to drink. I probably should have kept a better eye on the kid. He’d been naïve and so, so sweet. It was a good thing he ended up with Ace. I wasn’t nice enough for a guy like that.
Once my drink was made, I barged in on their coffee date. They saw one another every day anyway. They’d moved into an apartment together and were all domestic and shit. Besides, it was fun to bug Ace.
Benji brightened. “Hey, Jonas! You want to sit down?”
I grabbed a chair, flipped it around, and sat—right after I leaned in and kissed Benji on the cheek, because I was just that kind of asshole. “Looking sweet as ever, Benji.”
Benji blushed, his fair complexion easily giving way to my flattery. Ace huffed out a breath but said nothing. I grinned, unashamed. “And you’re looking disgruntled. What’s wrong, Ace, not a fan of the season?”
Ace rolled his eyes. “I like Christmas fine. Can’t wait to get out of here and away from certain people.”
“You and me both,” I said, ignoring the fact that I was the person he wanted to escape. I needled him for fun, and he groused, but beneath it all, there were no hard feelings. “I’m heading out today actually, right after my final.” I raised my cortado. “Here’s to caffeine.”
“Do you have to go far?” Benji asked as I chugged. “We have about two and a half hours.”
“Six.”
“Ouch.”
“Hence the coffee stop,” I said. “But it’ll be worth it when I get out to the cabin.”
“A cabin?” Benji said. “Sounds nice.”
“Yeah.” I fidgeted. Memories of my last Christmas at the cabin were tickling the edges of my mind. I hadn’t been up there since that fateful night I’d kissed Quinn. “It’s in the mountains. Great views.”
“Wait, isn’t the cabin where you met that guy before college?” Ace asked. “The one you’re all hung up on?”
I’d intentionally left out a few details when I told Ace about Quinn. I wouldn’t have told him anything at all, but I’d been just drunk enough to blab my personal business when one of the guys called me a player. Thankfully, I’d still been coherent enough to hold back the specifics. The guys would give me hell if they knew I’d crushed on my own stepbrother. Christ, I gave myself hell.
But it bugged me to be described as a player because, at heart, I wasn’t. I was just…unlucky. Not all of us could meet our perfect match on a college campus. Not all of us could be lucky enough to crush on someone appropriate, who would—or even could—return our feelings.
The stupid crush I’d had on Quinn lingered, and I’d done the only thing I knew how to do to fight it—sample other fish in the sea. Lots and lots of other fish. Hence, my reputation as a player.
“Ooh, there’s a guy?” Benji asked.
I pulled a face. “Ancient history. Besides, who needs love when I’ve got the freshman class of queer boys?”
Benji wrinkled his nose. “You’re terrible. Good thing we didn’t date.”
Ace put his arm around Benji’s shoulders. “Too close, babe. You came too close.”
I rolled my eyes, though I’d brought it on with my flippant comment. But I could dish it out as well as I could take it.
“It’s never too late, Benji. I can take you away from all this. How do you feel about a romantic mountain getaway?”
“I bet the mountains are pretty this time of year,” Benji said thoughtfully.
“Hey now,” Ace said. “Don’t go getting any ideas. We’ve got a romantic treehouse with our names on it.”
Benji blushed again, and my eyebrows shot up. That was more…creative than I had expected from these two. They seemed like the sort of couple to keep their antics in bed with the lights out.
“Well, I can’t compete with that,” I joked. “A treehouse in December? Must be cozy.”
Ace flipped me off, and I laughed before finishing my cortado with one more gulp and standing. “Gotta get to class. Let’s hang out when I get back.”
“Sure.”
“My frat throws a great party,” I teased.
Benji gave an embarrassed laugh. “Maybe we should stick to coffee. I’d rather not wake up confused and hungover.”
I grinned, shrugging. “Whatever you want. You can even leave Ace at home if you prefer.”
Ace sputtered a protest, but he knew I was all bark and no bite. Benji stood to hug me goodbye. “Good luck with the final, and with your love life.”
I snorted. “I don’t need help. I’ve got all the men I can handle.”
“Maybe you should handle a little less,” Ace muttered.
I wagged my finger at him as I backed away. “I heard that. But you don’t know what it’s like, having so many guys into you.” I gestured toward my body. “I’m just that hot.”
Benji laughed at my antics, shaking his head. “You’re terrible.”
I wasn’t doing my reputation any favors, acting the player, but I couldn’t let Benji see how much his words got to me. I didn’t have a love life, not really. Quinn was long gone, and no one else had ever compared.
And I’d learned the hard way I was better off keeping my heart to myself. Easier to get in, get off, and get out without any messy crushes in the way.