I’d only known Hadley for a few months. She was being sweet, but I felt guilty for making her feel like she had to reassure me. “I do. Of course I do. I don’t know what I’m rambling about. I had a tough time with some kids in school, but it was a long time ago.”
“What happened?”
My face heated. I never repeated what those kids said. It was too humiliating. I couldn’t figure out why they targeted me. I was quiet, kept to myself.
Each word stung me, made me feel less than. Back then, I had no friends. I couldn’t trust people not to turn on me.
I’d never let that fear go. If I lowered my mask for a second, it invited someone in, told them their opinion mattered, that they could hurt me. I straightened my shoulders. I was stronger for what I went through.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. I’m sorry you were treated badly.”
I waved her off. “Don’t feel sorry for me. It was nothing.”
“It’s clearly not nothing. I wish you felt more comfortable talking about it. Maybe I could help.”
She’d been nothing but kind to me even if I’d only known her for a few months.
Hadley sighed. “You know, when mean girls pick on you, it’s more about them than you.”
I laughed without humor, looking away as tears stung my eyes. “It was boys, but okay.”
“Boys bullied you?” Hadley’s eyes widened as she leaned in closer.
“It was both, but the boys were the worst.” My voice was quiet, my face hot. Could I trust Hadley with this?
“I know we haven’t been friends long, but I’d never betray you. First of all, we’re all adults and that middle school bullshit needs to stay back there. I’d never be catty, or drop you as a friend.”
I wanted to believe if I told someone the truth, they wouldn’t think less of me. “When I raised my hand to answer a question in class, the boys would bark at me like I was a dog.” I couldn’t look at her, my breath harsh to my ears.
Hadley reached over, placing her hand on mine. “I’m so sorry. They were a bunch of assholes. You’re gorgeous and smart.”
“I failed the bar exam the first time.” I wanted her to know everything.
“That doesn’t mean anything. You’re an attorney, a managing partner of this firm. Those people can’t get to you anymore. Their opinion doesn’t mean anything but that they were jealous of you back then and they’d be jealous of you now.”
“You think so?” I was reluctant to believe her. I always thought there was something fundamentally wrong with me. That those kids could see something I couldn’t, an insecurity, a chink in my armor.
“Jealous assholes. They’re probably used car salesmen now.” Hadley’s voice was full of conviction.
I snorted.
“What? Are they?” Hadley asked.
I was slightly embarrassed that I’d searched online to find out what they were doing now. “One of the guys dropped out of college and is working as a car salesman.”
“See! I told you. They were jealous of the success they knew you’d have in life. Live your life how you want to. Who cares about those assholes.”
Telling her the truth drained me. I leaned back in my chair. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say asshole so many times in one conversation.”
“Yeah, well, it was deserved, don’t you think?” Hadley’s eyes were full of laughter, her cheeks pink.
“It was.” I’d made a true friend today. I’d been honest with her and she’d been nothing but supportive.
“No more of this nonsense. You have friends. You belong here. You’re successful. Nothing and no one can bring you down.”
“Thank you, Hadley. It’s not that I don’t know that, sometimes I just need a reminder.” Sharing with her felt good, the ever present knot of worry in my stomach unraveled a little.
“That’s what friends are for.” She gave me a pointed look before leaving my office.
I’d like to think mean people didn’t exist anymore. That there were trustworthy ones out there, but the fear of being rejected by yet another person was overwhelming. After opening up to Griffin, then Hadley, I was physically and mentally exhausted. It wasn’t even lunchtime yet.
I focused on Griffin’s case, organizing his paperwork, setting up a schedule of things that needed to be done so nothing would be missed.
Hadley’s suggestion that I mention investigating Declan’s mother flipped around in my head. It was a good suggestion. I wasn’t ready to talk to him yet. I needed distance from our conversation this morning when I’d revealed too much.
I shivered at the memory of him asking if I was bullied. Sharing with Hadley was different than Griffin. Even though I represented him, I couldn’t shake this feeling that he was in a position of power over me and the firm.
Wes, the man I’d dated in law school, was my professor. When someone reported our relationship as inappropriate, he denied any involvement with me. He said I came onto him, that it was essentially harassment. I understood he had to protect himself and his job, but it hurt.
He eventually backed off the harassment allegation, but the damage was done, my reputation shot. The tentative trust I’d placed in him was undeserved. I vowed never to be in the same position again.
On Friday night, we had our usual end-of-the week celebratory drink in the conference room. The office was closed for the day, the phones sent to voicemail.
Dylan was practically vibrating with energy, a smile playing on her lips. “I have an idea for the fundraiser. I hope it’s not too late, but it could be the key to getting professional athletes on board.”
I clenched my jaw. I’d hoped this week would consist of verifying times and deliveries, not planning yet another large project for the fundraiser. Dylan often came up with big ideas that were difficult to manage.
“What’s your idea?” Hadley raised her brow.
“What do you think about a silent auction for items provided by athletes, signed jerseys, footballs, baseballs, pictures? Maybe tickets to a game?” Dylan’s eyes shined with excitement.
“It’s a great idea, but we only have a week until the fundraiser.”
“We don’t have the connections or reputation for that yet.” Hadley looked at me for a reaction.
Dylan nodded as if she’d considered this. “I started calling marketing companies for the local teams to see if they’re interested in donating. Researching online, it looks like it’s common for them to send out a set amount of paraphernalia for promotional purposes.”
“When would we hear back?” I mentally ran through the list of logistics to add a silent auction.
Dylan bit her lip. “Hopefully this week.”
“We’ll have to see what happens. If it’s not feasible, we could do it another time,” I said.
“Is anyone bringing a date?” Dylan asked.
Hadley nodded. “I’m bringing Cade. I invited Nolan too.”
“I hadn’t planned on it because I wasn’t planning on going originally.”
“We should invite someone else so it’s even.” Dylan tilted her head as if trying to think of a possibility.