I saw your face again. I see it every time I take a life. I pretend that I’m killing you instead of the victim, and that’s okay because I can continue to kill you a million times – over and over again.
Yes, every single part of murder is enjoyable to me. But nothing compares to my favourite part.
The best is yet to come, I think to myself as I take out my phone.
Thirteen
‘Run that by me again,’ Kim said once Stacey had updated her on the shuffle case.
‘She has some kind of sympathy for her attacker,’ Stacey repeated. ‘She was even grateful that he pulled her shorts up and covered her once he’d finished. I get why they couldn’t use her,’ she admitted.
Kim got it. ‘She’d have been more like a witness for the defence. His barrister would have gone to town and twisted the whole thing so it would have appeared consensual.’
‘Exactly, boss, which would have weakened the case for the first victim, Gemma Hornley. It’s likely he’d have walked and paid for neither crime.’
Kim agreed. ‘Well, given that we’ve got a murder investigation to—’
‘Can I stay on it, boss?’ Stacey asked. ‘She’s still a victim and she’s being denied justice for telling the truth.’
Kim opened her mouth to refuse until the irony of Stacey’s words hit home. Truth and justice didn’t always go hand in hand, but they had to give it their best shot.
‘Okay, but if I need to pull you off while Bryant and I—’
‘Err… present and fit for duty, boss,’ Penn said, throwing his hand in the air to indicate he could pick up any slack on Stacey’s behalf.
‘Noted,’ Kim said.
Despite his offer, she was not prepared to let him spread himself too thinly. She couldn’t help going a bit easier on Penn given his recent loss, even though he didn’t request it. He was now sole carer for his brother, which would include a period of adjustment for both of them.
‘Okay, guys, there’s little more we can do tonight on Katrina’s murder, so go home, sleep well and be back at seven o’clock sharp.’
It was almost eight now, so that gave them all a good eleven-hour turnaround.
Not so much for her. She had yet to brief Woody on the INEPT meeting, but once she’d done that her involvement with the event at the end of the week would be well and truly over.
Fourteen
Penn opened the door of his home and took a good long sniff.
He swallowed his disappointment. He’d hoped to be greeted by the delicious aromas of baking that filled the house when Jasper was cooking. Jasper hadn’t been allowed to cook alone since the time he’d allowed a pan of melting butter to burn when his best friend, Billy, had sent him a link to some YouTube videos. The pan had caught fire, and Jasper had had the sense to run next door for help.
Lily, a retired schoolteacher, had put out the fire and told Jasper that any time he wanted to cook without Penn she’d come round and be chief taster.
Every night when he phoned to say he was going to be late, he hoped his brother had taken Lily up on her kind offer and returned to what he loved to do.
Looked like Stacey was going to be disappointed again tomorrow. His brother hadn’t set foot in the kitchen since their mother’s funeral. In fact, he’d barely left his room at all.
Penn headed up the stairs and knocked gently on a door that was now permanently closed.
He received a grunt in response.
Penn fixed a smile to his face before he entered the room.
‘Hey, bud, fancy trying out a new recipe I found for cheese scones?’ he asked, ruffling his brother’s hair.
Jasper pulled away and shook his head.
Penn tried not to let the gesture hurt him. His brother was in pain and it was up to him to keep things as normal as he could.
‘Come on, mate, I’ll even let you grate the cheese.’
Jasper shook his head and continued to focus on the game.
‘Okay, what if I let you?…’
‘No, Ozzy,’ he said testily.
Anger was not a natural state for his brother, so Penn knew when not to push.
‘Okay, what do you want to eat?’
‘Not hungry.’
‘Mate, you gotta eat something,’ Penn insisted.
He could already see that his brother had dropped a few pounds, offering Penn the proof he’d been right that Jasper had eaten as much as he’d baked.
‘You want beans on toast?’
Hardly a balanced meal, but it was his favourite and it was hot and right now he’d take it.
Jasper shook his head.
‘Mate…’
‘Had a noodle.’
Penn opened his mouth to argue and thought better of it. One of Jasper’s biggest frustrations was being treated like a small child when he was almost sixteen years of age. He knew his own mind and Penn sometimes had to respect his right to choose.
‘Okay, bud, I’ll be downstairs if you want me,’ he said, leaving the door slightly ajar.
He was halfway down the stairs when he heard it close completely.
Penn switched on the kettle for a cuppa and checked the bin. Sure enough on top was a half-empty pot noodle container. It wasn’t enough, but he couldn’t force-feed the kid.
If he was honest, he felt he was in uncharted territory. He missed his mum every day. The months they’d known she was dying hadn’t prepared him for the eventual loss.
Between the three of them they’d stumbled along. His mum had been the firm but gentle parent with Jasper, always able to reach him, and Penn had been the older brother, making Jasper laugh, encouraging him to try new things while protecting him from the harsher elements in the world. Both he and his mum had held a place in Jasper’s life, fulfilled a role in his development. But what was his role now? Was he fun-loving brother or firm parent? If he was both, how did he juggle the two? All he knew was that his brother needed him to be strong and that’s what he intended to be.
He poured the water into the cup as his phone began to ring.
He smiled when he saw the caller’s name.
‘Hey, Lynne,’ he answered.
‘Yo, comrade,’ she responded. It was how she had greeted him when they’d worked together at West Mercia.
He had been grateful for her support at his mum’s funeral, and she’d called to check on him a couple of times since.
‘What you up to?’ he asked, enjoying hearing the sound of her voice.
‘Just finished a long shift and wondered if you two guys wanted to help me eat my own body weight in pizza?’
‘Where’s Simon?’ he asked. Lynne had been engaged to the accountant for almost five years.
‘Oh, err… squash practice. Not sure what he’s practising for, but hey ho with all this practice he’s gotta be getting better.’
Penn laughed out loud. It was a good feeling. Lynne had always been able to make him laugh.
‘So how about it, homey?’
The thought of sharing a meal and some light conversation with his old colleague was tempting. Chatting had always been easy between them. They shared similar taste in films, and Lynne’s own music collection was as eclectic as his own. Yet as much as he appreciated her sympathy mission, he didn’t feel that either he or Jasper would be very good company this evening.