I close my eyes and see him. I breathe in and smell him. I feel the sheets skimming my skin and imagine it’s his touch. I shut my brain down for a split second and hear his sexy shush. I swallow and taste his tongue in my mouth.
He’s imprinted on every part of me.
Chapter 4
After spending my entire Sunday moping and avoiding my mother so she couldn’t squeeze me for information, I wake on Monday determined not to waste another day. I need to get back to London. I need to be getting myself a new job. The alternative is remaining in Helston at the mercy of my regrets and my past. No. Not today.
I jump up and rummage through the chest of drawers in my room, searching for anything I can wear. I settle on some old leggings and a big jumper. After showering and dressing, I make my way downstairs, finding Mum in the kitchen making tea.
‘Sleep well?’ she asks, handing me a cup.
I hum my answer and take a sip. ‘I’m going to Dad’s store.’ I tell her, and she looks up at me. I can see the fear in her eyes – fear that I’m going to ask her to come. I smile and reach for her hand. ‘I’ve got it,’ I assure her. I know she’s avoided the shop, and I understand why. It’s the same reason I’ve avoided it myself. Yet, in order for me to move forward, I need to clear up the remnants of my past. And Mum seriously needs relieving of the financial strain. It’s time to pull my finger out.
‘Thank you,’ she seizes my hand and squeezes it. ‘Now, are you ready to talk or am I to continue pretending you’ve really missed me?’
I roll my eyes. ‘I did miss you,’ I say, setting my tea down and pulling on my jacket.
‘So you’re on leave, are you? From your job?’
‘Something like that.’ I swing my bag onto my shoulder and kiss her cheek. ‘Just know I’m fine, okay?’ I do not need my mum worrying about me. Because, Eleanor, there is nothing to worry about.
She sighs. ‘Not really, but I can hardly beat it out of you, can I?’
‘No.’ I head for the door. ‘What are you doing today?’
‘Paul and I . . .’ She fades off as I turn back to look at her. Her smile is awkward. ‘He’s taking me shopping.’
I smile, seeing that bright sparkle in her eyes. It suits her. ‘Have a lovely time.’
She nods, and I’m pretty sure I see tears cloud her eyes. It tugs at my heartstrings. And it makes me realise that the best gift I could give my mum is my blessing.
I leave the house and take a moment on the step to drink in air. Then I start the short walk into town. I can practically feel the whispers following me the whole way. ‘Eleanor, you’re home,’ Mr Keller, the local carpenter, calls from across the road as he loads a ladder onto his van. ‘Good to see you.’
‘Just temporarily,’ I say as I wave.
By the time I make it to Dad’s store, I think I must have seen just about every resident of Helston. All except my ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend, which suits me fine. Hopefully I can do what I need to do and leave without any chance encounters.
I let myself in and glance around, wondering where I might start. ‘God, could you have crammed any more junk in here, Dad?’ I set my bag down and pick up a watercolour that’s propped up against a wall. I smile, remembering when Dad acquired it in a house clearance from the next village. That day, years ago now, he came back with a van load of new ‘treasures’. He was thrilled, while I was wondering where on earth he planned on storing it all. The shop had always been set to burst at the seams, yet Dad always found more space. And now I have to clear it.
I get my phone out and pull up Google, searching for local clearance firms. I find one a few towns away and call them to arrange a collection. ‘Later today is perfect, thank you.’
It’s time to roll my sleeves up. Over the next few hours, I think I must burn a million calories moving everything I can manage into the courtyard out back. It’s only when the larger pieces of furniture remain that I realise I haven’t quite thought this through. There’s no way I’ll shift it all on my own. I take a seat on a nearby reproduction cabinet to catch my breath and blow away some cobwebs from the sleeve of my jumper.
‘Hi, Elle.’
I look up. ‘David,’ I breathe, finding my ex standing on the threshold of Dad’s store.
‘I heard you were back.’
I laugh under my breath. This place. You can’t fart without the whole town knowing. ‘Only temporarily.’ Let’s make that clear. ‘What are you doing here?’ I get up, needing something to do, and start shifting a table towards the back entrance of the store.
‘You never answered my calls. My messages.’
I stop pushing the table and turn to face him. It’s only now I notice he’s lost a bit of weight. His tall frame is slighter than usual. ‘Why would I?’ I ask. ‘Why rehash things? You did what you did, with my best friend, and I left Helston. What did you want? For me to shout and scream? Cry? We’ve both moved on.’
‘Have we?’ he asks, and it throws me.
‘Mum told me she’s seen you with Amy. So yes, I assume you have, and I know I have.’ It’s a slight stretch of the truth, but David doesn’t need to know the ins and outs of the crazy happenings in my life since I left Helston.
‘I’ve seen Amy, of course. It’s hard to avoid anyone in this town, Eleanor. You know that.’ He moves into the store, looking around. ‘You might not believe it, but we both regret what happened. We’re both sorry.’
‘Well, thank you for your apology.’
He blinks in surprise. ‘Welcome,’ he replies, unsure.
I start pushing the table again, grunting a bit with the effort. It’s odd. I thought I’d disintegrate in the presence of my ex, get angry and upset. It’s quite the opposite, in fact. I feel . . . closure. Weird. I stop trying to wrestle the table through the doorway and brace my hands on the edge, puffing and panting like a loser.
‘Want some help?’
I turn back to David and find him flexing his non-existent muscles and giving me a small smile.
‘Call it a peace offering.’
Laughter rises, and it feels good. I chuckle and move aside in invitation, and he comes over, taking one side as I take the other. ‘This means nothing except I’m fed up hating you,’ I say, needing that to be clear. But I’m not fed up. I simply haven’t got the energy to hate him.
He smiles. ‘Have you really moved on, Eleanor?’
I nod, forcing sureness into my expression. ‘Yes.’
‘Then I’m happy for you.’