Bullshit. He couldn’t even look her in the eyes. “Everything about you right now says you’re annoyed with me.”
He exhaled. “When was the last time we talked? In person, face-to-face?”
She squinted into the sun as she thought about that. “Two days ago at my apartment?”
“Five days,” he said. “It’s been five days.”
His attitude made her feel off-balance, like a spinning top, teetering right before it fell on its side. She tried to recall how she’d spent the past week, but the pressure was too much. Her mind was a blank. “It can’t possibly have been that long. I called you yesterday and left a message.” She cringed as she recalled the message she’d left him about the managing editor’s retirement. She hadn’t asked Derek anything personal, like when she might see him again. Nothing about what he was up to. No How are you? I miss you. Call me back.
His eyes softened. “I like you, Sawyer. I like you a lot, but it’s clear you’re just not that into me. A month ago, when I asked you out, I had no idea you were living with someone and had just broken up.”
“I explained all that. My relationship with Chad was complicated. Chad and I never should have been together. It was—”
“None of that matters,” Derek said, stopping her from going on. “I never should have asked you out once you told me. I simply plowed forward and pushed myself into your life. It was too soon. It was a mistake.”
When Sawyer had rushed after Derek and followed him outside, this was the last thing she’d expected. Was he breaking up with her? “So you think I’m not into you because five days passed before I called to see what you’ve been up to?”
“That’s part of it.”
“The other part is you believe I might still be dealing with my breakup?”
“Yes. Between your recent breakup and your parents’ deaths and all you’ve been through, I think you need some time to yourself. So I’ve decided to back away and give you space.”
Her insides twisted into knots. She didn’t know what to say.
“There’s more,” he said.
She kept her eyes on his, searching for answers. “I’m listening.”
“Remember when I first called you after you returned home to River Rock and you read off a list of issues you’re dealing with?”
She nodded.
“At the time I joked around with you, but the truth is I have a few problems of my own.”
She waited for him to elaborate, which he did.
“I had been mourning my dead wife for so long I didn’t recognize the signs at first. I knew you were a hard worker and that you were smart, but suddenly I was noticing other things about you. The way you rubbed your brows when you were deep in thought.” He sighed. “Your mouth, the tiny dimple in your cheek when you smile, the freckle below your left ear. For the first time in years, I thought maybe, just maybe, it was time for me to move forward.” His brows lifted. “Get the picture?”
“Yes,” she said. “I think so. There’s a ‘but’ in here somewhere, right?”
He nodded. “But then I realized I was the one calling you, texting you, and stopping by your apartment to say hi. It wasn’t until I spent a day at my parents’ house that I realized you hadn’t called or texted. I’m not proud of it. I’ve never been the kind of guy to keep track of these things, but being new to the dating game after all these years, I couldn’t help but notice you hadn’t reached out. So it was then I decided to wait and see when you would call me.”
Frustrated with herself, Sawyer rubbed her forehead. Why hadn’t she called him? She didn’t have a good answer for not doing so. Was she sabotaging the relationship on purpose? She’d always had a difficult time letting people in. Maybe he was right, and she’d been shutting Derek out of her life without even realizing it.
He laid his hands flat on his chest. “I have a good, healthy ego,” he said, “so I knew I could handle whatever happened. But after five days passed with no word from you, it wasn’t difficult to see that this relationship between the two of us was one-sided.”
Before she could spit out any intelligent thoughts or opinions on the matter, he gently placed his hands on her shoulders and said, “I don’t want you to feel badly about any of this. You didn’t do anything wrong. We’re both adults. I want the best for you, Sawyer. I really do.” He glanced at his watch. “I need to go. Take care.”
He turned and walked away.
Take care? She stood as stiff as a fence post and simply watched the back of him grow smaller as he moved farther and farther away.
Her feet felt as if they were glued to the asphalt. Why wasn’t she running after him? Was it true? Was she not that into him?
Inwardly she shouted at herself to say something, do something, stop him from leaving. He had it all wrong. She liked him . . . a lot. He wasn’t like any guy she’d ever met, let alone dated before. He was normal—if there was such a thing. He was nice too. And funny. It sounded cliché, but it was true that nobody had ever made her laugh as much as Derek had.
But she merely stood there, paralyzed by anxiety and fear, even though there was no dangerous threat.
This wasn’t the first time her anxiety had kept her from moving forward. Her therapist had called it emotional paralysis when she’d located her sisters and was unable to talk to them. Her internal fear of trying to think logically and rationally while dealing with her anxiety, which at the moment felt like a brick pressing against her chest, was too much.
So she simply turned around, walked into the building, and went back to work.
CHAPTER SIX
After hearing the front door click shut and the sound of the car’s engine as the vehicle drove away, Riley cried out, screaming and begging for Mom and Dad to find her.
Exhausted, she leaned back onto the pillows behind her. The odds of anyone finding her were slim. She’d learned that from her parents. Her dad was a prison guard, and her mom was a psychologist. They knew firsthand that the world wasn’t right. They dealt with “crazy” every day. They had spent countless hours teaching Riley and her older brother how to avoid situations like the one she was in now. She rubbed her wrists, thankful the woman had given her the freedom to move both arms before she left.
If her dad were here now, he would cry with happiness to see her alive. And then he would shake his head and ask her how in the world she had allowed herself to be abducted by a lady with a cast and a sling. Dad had talked about Ted Bundy on many occasions. Riley knew about the women who had disappeared off the streets of Seattle in the ’70s. Bundy would lure them to his car by wearing a cast or by using crutches. He would then purposely drop something, and his kindhearted victims would get a crowbar to the head for their efforts. She had been warned.
It doesn’t pay to be nice.
That’s what her dad would say when he lectured her about never talking to strangers. And yet he was one of the friendliest people she knew.
The woman had put on a show for Riley, limping and grimacing in pain, and Riley had fallen for the act. Not once had Ted Bundy entered her mind. Not even for a hot second. She simply climbed into the back of the SUV to get the box, just like the crazy lady asked her to, and now she was paying the price for her stupidity. How dumb could she have been? That would be the first question her brother would ask her if she was lucky enough to ever see him again.