“You should be out of those slings as early as a couple weeks from now. Perhaps even sooner. And things will change for you before you even know it.”
I can’t tell her that’s what I’m afraid of.
“How about life at home?” Dr. Levitt asks.
Before I can answer, the bell dings to tell us the time’s up. The hour always seems to pass so quickly, but today, I’m glad. There’s so much to talk about with her, but so much I’m not ready to say.
CHAPTER FOUR
Valerie
The Blue Dove Inn used to be a dive bar, but new ownership bought it about four years ago. They cleaned it up, put on a big addition, and added a deck out back where they showcase local live music in the summers. Their specialty cocktails menu is longer than the appetizer list, and the craft beer selection even larger. It’s one of the nicer places to eat around here and also the closest place for me to order takeout.
Tonight is trivia night, so it’s crowded. I’ve had to wait longer than usual. Usually I prefer to cook for Jonathan because he’s mentioned more than once that she never does, but tonight I got out of work too late to get to the grocery store for the fresh veggies I was planning to stir-fry. I’m in the corner, scrolling through a news blog on my phone while I wait for my name to be called, so when I hear it, I look up at once with the expectation that it’s the hostess with my food.
“Val! Hi!”
It’s Diana. She still has both arms in slings, so she can’t hug me, but she moves close enough, like she means to. I can smell the wine on her breath, and she weaves a little bit. Gross. It’s only eight o’clock on a Tuesday night, and she’s drunk. Like mother, like daughter, I think, and can’t hide the twist of my mouth or the way I draw back. How could she think I would hug her? How could she think I would even acknowledge her? After all I’ve done for her and how she completely went back on everything she promised? She’s lucky we’re in public, or else I’d have no problem telling her exactly what I think of her.
Trina Kauffman is with her, which explains part of it.
“Hey, Val. Haven’t seen you out in forever,” Trina says.
“Been busy,” I say.
The three of us have known each other since high school, but Trina has always been more Diana’s friend than mine. She and I don’t hang out or keep in touch beyond saying “hi” if we bump into each other. She probably doesn’t know what’s going on between the two of us, although I wouldn’t put it past Diana to have told her. Gain sympathy points. Make herself a martyr. But the fact that my former best friend went out of her way to say hello tells me she’s saving face in front of Trina.
Trina laughs. “You must have a new guy taking up all of your time.”
Maybe Diana did tell her.
An awkward silence falls over the three of us. Diana’s still smiling at me. I know her well enough to see that it’s a little strained, but only a little. There’s something else in her expression too. A kind of longing. I look away from her.
“I’ll go grab the car and bring it around,” Trina offers to Diana with a nod toward me and a friendly smile.
Sure, because Diana is so disabled she can’t possibly walk herself down the steep concrete stairs and across the parking lot. What a crock of shit. I hear my name again and turn, without saying anything else, to get my food from the hostess. It smells delicious, but my stomach is churning. I hope Diana will be gone when I turn back, but she’s still outside the front door, waiting for Trina.
“Hey,” she says in a quieter voice. She looks at the bag in my hands. Clearly there’s enough food for two. Her lips press together a little, but she meets my gaze without hesitation. “I’ve been meaning to call you.”
“Why?” I clutch the white paper bag closer to me. Its warmth ought to be a comfort.
Diana’s brow furrows. “I … because …”
“Just. Don’t. I’m supposed to be in Punta Cana right now.” My words are clipped, but I’m pitching my voice low so nobody can overhear us. New housing developments and a few new stores in the strip mall haven’t made this town any bigger than it’s ever been. People have had enough to say about me over the years, and I’m not about to give them anything else.
A blue Subaru rolls up, Trina at the wheel. Diana shoots a glance at her as Trina gets out and goes around to the passenger side to open the door for her. Diana looks back at me.
“I don’t understand,” she says.
I lean close enough to hiss into her ear, “Yes, you do. Don’t you dare act like you don’t. Don’t you fucking dare.”
“It’s about Jonathan.”
I blink rapidly to keep myself from staggering at her sheer fucking audacity. Then I focus on her. “Of course it’s about Jonathan.”
“I know about the two of you,” Diana says quietly, not making a scene.
I stop myself from feeling grateful that she’s not shouting. How can she stand in front of me, looking like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth?
“Of course you do,” I manage to bite out. “You’re the one who asked me to fuck him in the first place.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Diana
I stagger, clumsy-footed. I asked her to do what?
“Stop pretending you can’t remember,” Val says. “Just own your shit, Diana. For fuck’s sake, how could you do this to me?”
“Me … do … but you’re the one …”
“Diana?”
I turn at the sound of Trina’s voice, and Val pushes past me to take the steps down to the lower parking lot. Trina helps me get in the car, but we don’t laugh and joke this time as she buckles me in. I can tell she wants to ask me what’s going on, but she waits until we pull into the driveway before saying anything.
“You okay?” she asks.
“Yeah. I just … we had an argument.” Is that what it was? Honestly, I don’t know what the hell we had, just now or, obviously, before.
Trina grimaces. “Sorry. I know you two are tight. I hope you get it worked out. But hey, if you want to talk about it, you have my number. If you need a ride, or whatever. Just call me.”
It’s too embarrassing to cry about this, so I force a watery smile. “Thanks. It’s been a rough bunch of weeks.”
By the time I get inside my house, I no longer feel like crying. I manage to get my phone out of my purse with a minimal struggle. Cradling it carefully, I open a message window and type out a text to Val. We’ve had arguments in the past. Sisters always do, and she’s always been as much a sister to me as a friend.
What’s going on? We need to talk.
But the message keeps showing “Delivered,” and she doesn’t reply.
CHAPTER SIX
Valerie
SEPTEMBER, TWO YEARS AGO
“That is a shit-fire, fuck-me, hallelujah lot of money,” I said when Diana waved the check in front of my face.
She’d come to Brooklyn for a rare weekend visit. It had been six months since the last time we’d seen each other. I missed her, but my life there was different. I got away from that prison of a small town. She chose to stay behind.