“It’s Emma’s,” Haley said, and Liv’s hand went to her mouth. Haley couldn’t look directly at her. “It was a gift from someone. I don’t know who because Emma was cryptic about it. And she was involved with a few different guys, so there are several possibilities for who might have given it to her.” Liv shifted her weight, but Haley kept going, as though she were reading facts from a patient’s chart. “Typically she mentioned guys she was seeing like they weren’t a big deal, but she wasn’t like that about whoever gave her this bracelet. She showed it off to me, but she put her finger over her lips when I asked who gave it to her. I remember that like yesterday, because I remember how young it made her look when she did it, like we were kids again.” Emotion tightened Haley’s chest, so she took in tiny breaths that didn’t make it all the way into her lungs. It was one of her tricks for school, too, when she was so exhausted or jittery she felt tears coming. She preferred anything to tears—even the furious feeling.
“Emma was very free spirited,” Liv said, her forehead creasing. Haley couldn’t suppress her eye roll, and she knew the detective saw it.
“There was nothing wrong with Emma sleeping with or dating more than one guy at once,” Haley snapped at her mom. “She was in college. You don’t need to defend her.”
Liv blanched, but Haley didn’t apologize. It was one of the things that drove her crazy, the way people talked about Emma’s behavior as though it were any different from everything everyone else was doing in college. “Haley . . .” Liv started, but Haley took her mom’s hand and squeezed it. She turned back to Rappaport, and asked, “This bracelet, who found it?”
“It’s not the who that matters here,” the detective said, “it’s the where.” His voice was careful, but Haley knew it was an act; he’d determined how much he was planning to tell them long before they stepped inside his office. “As you know, Emma was last seen by numerous eyewitnesses at the party in the woods,” he said, “but no one could place her anywhere after, so we had to consider the possibility that she left the party of her own volition and had an accident farther downriver, where it’s a straight jump into the water. But the bracelet was found too far upriver, where the gorge has plenty of ground between the cliffs’ edges and the water. Anyone who fell or jumped that far north would . . .” Rappaport’s voice trailed off, and Haley willed herself not to shout at him to keep going. He cleared his throat. “Well,” he started again, “it’s a forty-five-foot drop from the cliff down to the dirt, and a body would have remained on the ground to be discovered. Which means if Emma was killed near the party, or if she fell or was pushed from those cliffs, someone went down into the gorge and disposed of her body so it wouldn’t be found, whether by burying it, or, more likely, by putting her into the river.”
“Mom,” Haley said, and her hand found Liv’s. It was freezing. Haley knew tears were next, so she asked Rappaport if he had a tissue. He passed her an unopened package of the neon-colored kind of tissues kids take to school.
“I’m sorry to deliver this news,” he said to Liv, and then he turned to Haley to say, “We plan to reopen the case, and though I wasn’t the detective on Emma’s case ten years ago, I want to formally apologize. I’ve seen several reports where you and your mother say you’re certain Emma wouldn’t have hurt herself.” The detective cleared his throat, his face changing. “Emma’s father,” he said, “I haven’t met Tim yet, but Detective Segal told me he’s in a fragile state, understandably, and that he maintains his daughter might have run away.” His brown eyes were gentle, and Haley was grateful for it. “This news will be devastating if it shatters a theory that might be protecting him, and it’s why I invited only the two of you here, so that you could break the news to him however you think is best. But please let me know how I can help,” he said. His face looked strained with awkwardness, but he was trying so hard Haley felt herself melt a little. Everything about Emma disappearing had been so indescribably hard, but it was the moments of unexpected kindness that always broke her. Her sister was gone, and even though Haley couldn’t bring herself to use the word dead, she knew it was the truth somewhere deep inside, no matter what anyone else said when they tried to console her. And Rappaport was right: for the first few months after Emma disappeared, Haley’s dad was absolutely sure Emma had simply run away. The years had eroded his confidence, but it always remained a possibility he held on to, something he fantasized about: the possibility that Emma was living a life far away in California, where she’d always wanted to go. It made Haley want to scream. Her parents could be overly protective, and Emma had been fighting with them (especially with her dad) before she disappeared, but they were good parents. How could her dad want to imagine a life where Emma hated him enough to run away?
“We’ll break the news to Tim,” Liv said, and then she let out a small sigh. “Could we have a minute?” she asked.
Rappaport looked surprised, but nodded and excused himself. The door shut, and Liv whipped around in her chair to face Haley. Her auburn hair was newly cut, and the tendrils that framed her face made her look younger than fifty-six. Her round brown eyes were red-rimmed from crying, but still smart as ever. “This is going to kill Dad,” she said.
“It is,” Haley managed, but then she stopped knowing what to say. Her dad’s grief was too much. It was different when she was working with the doctors in the hospital and it was a patient’s sadness. This was her family.
“Will you tell him with me?” Liv asked. She gripped the arm of the chair, her thin fingers going white. “Your dad will be more under control with you there. He won’t want to scare you.”
“Of course,” Haley said.
Liv blinked a few times, looking like she was turning something over in her mind. “The detective didn’t seem very surprised when you said the bracelet was Emma’s,” she eventually said. “Do you think Josie’s the one who identified it first?”
Usually Liv never mentioned Josie by name, and whenever they ran into her, Liv barely spoke. Only once did she say anything about it, a muttered It just isn’t fair that she goes on living a life right in front of us, and Emma doesn’t.
“It had to be her, because who else?” Haley replied, tapping her thighs again. One, two, three, four, five . . .
She wasn’t sure whether her mom didn’t notice the tapping anymore or she just chose not to say anything. Six, seven, eight, nine . . .
The walls of Rappaport’s office seemed to come closer. “I gotta get out of here,” Haley said, thinking about how she couldn’t wait to call Dean and tell him everything. “But I’ll meet you tonight whenever you want to tell Dad.”
Liv nodded slowly, and Haley let her head fall against her mom’s chest, desperate for her comfort. Liv’s arms were strong and warm, and Haley breathed in her familiar vanilla scent before pulling away and zipping her coat, preparing for the Waverly chill and the afternoon ahead.
SIX
Priya
That evening Brad shuffled his feet as he walked across the kitchen to greet Priya. It was a habit that irritated her, because he was only thirty-eight, a few years younger than she was, but the shuffling made him seem much older. He hadn’t been athletic as a child or young adult, but right after Elliot was born he began working out so vigorously it gave his body the appearance of a lifetime spent as a well-muscled athlete. Only the shuffling gave him away.