I watch her drive away and return to the house. As I move to close the front door I have the fleeting sensation of breath at the back of my neck. I turn on a spike of panic but of course there’s no one there.
8
AUGUST 2004
“Innocence is a splendid thing, only it has the misfortune not to keep very well and to be easily misled”
—Immanuel Kant
Rachel clipped her blonde hair back behind her ears and breathed in the sweet smell of meadow hay. She banged the lid firmly down on the bin of rabbit pellets and checked there were no strays on the floor. Mrs. Watson had seen rats and they didn’t want them at the feed. Everything had to be stored, sealed or swept away. A single pellet, a grain of corn and you’d never, ever hear the end of it. Rachel closed her eyes; she loved the smell of the store. It had the same effect on her as freshly baked bread or newly mown grass. A warm comforting smell. She would miss all this when the summer was over.
Liam came into the storeroom and dumped a sack of carrots in the doorway. His lean frame momentarily blocked the slant of weak sunlight coming in through the door, casting a pool of dark shadow.
“Where do you want these, Rach? If you need ’em lifting you’d best give me a shout, they weigh a ton.”
She liked Liam. Even though he’d only been helping at the sanctuary for a short while and was older than most of the others, she already counted him as a friend. Despite his age he didn’t talk down to her and he was fun to work with. She could fancy him a bit if she thought about it but it wasn’t really worth the effort. He was way too old for her. It was also a tiny bit odd that he was there. She suspected community service or something if she was honest.
“It’s okay Liam, just dump them by the hay. Mrs. Watson’s going to reorganize everything anyway because apparently we’ve got rats again.”
Liam set down the sack and leaned against the doorpost watching her.
“You nearly finished, cause we could walk back into town together if you like?”
She was a pretty girl and she had a way about her that was older than her years. Innocent but not. He sometimes had to remind himself she was only sixteen or maybe seventeen. Pity, if she was just a few years older he might’ve given it a go.
“No, I’m staying on for a bit but there’s no need for you to wait, I’m okay walking back on my own. I won’t be much longer anyway. I’ve got to finish the rabbits and do their waters, then I’m pretty much done.”
Rachel didn’t mind walking home alone, she was usually finished well before it was dark in the summer and most of the journey was through the estate. It was only the first stretch past the industrial units that she didn’t much like. Recently it’d started to creep her out, giving her the feeling that someone was watching.
He had picked his position carefully, just at the point where he was out of the view of any houses but not far enough around the bend that he could be seen from the other end. The units were deserted as was usual at this time, the car parks windswept and desolate. He’d already checked for CCTV and had watched for security guards. Most of the units were empty now anyway, so he was pretty confident he was safe.
He was hopeful about this evening. It needed to be soon as the cat was flagging and he didn’t want to have to go to the trouble of finding another one. Last night there’d been some fucker with her so he’d driven on by, but tonight he had a good feeling. There was a tightness in his groin that was quite pleasurable. He’d put the finishing touches on his hideaway—or perhaps on reflection he’d call it his Sanctuary, always good to know irony wasn’t dead—everything was ready. It just needed her. It was hungry for her like he was, yearning and keening and howling for her in the night. He released a shuddering breath and let his hand stray to his crotch where he eased down the straining zip. He slipped eager fingers into the musky warmth but then thought better of it. The last thing he needed was to be pulled in for pulling one off. Regretfully he returned his thoughts to the other job in hand.
It was about time. He pulled the car over at a careless angle, leaving the engine running—it mustn’t look contrived. He opened the boot and reached into the holdall. The bag with the cloth went in his pocket and he pulled out the cat by its scruff. Its sides were heaving and its fur was flecked with blood. It was a feisty little bastard. It’d scratched and clawed at him, bitten his hand and screamed like a bitch when he’d broken its leg. Even now it looked like it’d try a bid for freedom if it got a chance, three legs or not. He had a grudging respect for it and hoped his girl showed the same kind of spirit. He fancied a bit of spice.
Rachel walked quickly. The rabbits had taken longer than she’d thought and she was already late. Evening was drawing in and the sun was no more than a pink bloom on the horizon, the color leaching from the sky. She was annoyed with herself. She’d forgotten to charge her phone that morning, otherwise she’d have phoned her dad for a lift.
She noticed a car up ahead, half on the curb with the door open. There was a man kneeling in front of it cradling something small in his arms. Oh God, it was a cat. It looked like he’d run it over. She saw him stand and look helplessly up and down the empty road and without even thinking she broke into a run. Swiftly she passed the hunched gray units and the deserted yards. As she reached his side she saw it was a small tortoiseshell, with the pearly white of bone protruding from the matted fur of its leg.
“It just ran out from the units straight in front of me,” he said. “I couldn’t do anything, it went right under the wheels, I think I’ve killed it.”
He slid the shutters down on his soul and turned his eyes toward her. She saw his hands were trembling. He was flushed and looked as though he was on the point of tears.
“Oh God, this is awful, what the fuck am I going to do. I don’t know whose it is but I can’t just leave it here to die. Do you know if there’s a vet anywhere nearby?”
Rachel looked at the cat; it was such a sorry little thing. Its eyes were glazing over and it lay all limp in his arms. She felt sick and as if she just might cry too.
‘There’s one off the high street, down the side by Marks and Spencer, I think.” She hesitated for a moment, wondering what she should do. “I don’t even know if they’d be open now.”
He smiled at her gratefully. He had such a nice face, such lovely eyes. She couldn’t help noticing how fit he was and felt herself blush as he looked at her.
“I know I shouldn’t even ask,” he said, with just the right hint of hesitation, “but do you think you could come and hold him? I don’t think I can do it and drive as well.”
He saw the flicker of doubt cross her face, so quickly backtracked. He didn’t want to seem too pushy and scare her away.
“No, don’t worry, of course you can’t, it was silly to ask you. I understand, it’s fine, I’ll manage somehow. I’ll just put him on the back seat.”
Old childhood warnings flashed through Rachel’s mind, “Don’t talk to strangers,” “Never get into anyone’s car,” and here was both a stranger and a car.
But another bolder voice said “Oh come on, what are the chances that some random psycho just happens to run over a cat right in front of you?”