Chapter Four
Paul’s pain seared through Cliff, but this was always the wall he came up against whenever Harley’s name was mentioned. His brother’s death surrounded Paul like a second skin he couldn’t or wouldn’t shed.
“I have to get to work.” Paul bowed his head and turned to walk away. Cliff couldn’t let him leave with the weight of this conversation on his shoulders, and he rushed over to put a hand on his shoulder.
“Please? Can we talk later? I really want to work through this with you.”
Their eyes met, and Cliff tried to convey his love and hope in that one look. Dragging in a single breath of air to his lungs hurt from all the emotion surrounding them.
The fine lines around Paul’s eyes deepened as they stared at each other. “Yeah. I think it’s time.”
“What we have…that’s not going to change.”
Paul’s brief smile was enough. “I’ll see you tonight.”
And then he was gone.
Cliff finished sweeping up the glass, and after the forensics team left, he pulled the curtain closed, then made a pot of coffee. Once it brewed, he poured himself a mug, and for the first time since the bullets crashed through the window, he sat on the sofa and attempted to take a sip. His hand trembled. Before it spilled, he set it down and hugged his arms around himself.
What the hell is going on?
He’d never once known the fear or hatred of someone who would wish him bodily harm. Knowing now that Paul had received threatening notes, coupled with the gunshots, made him rethink his mindset of living in the suburbs. The isolation made them targets. Maybe Paul’s apartment would be a better place to live, and they should consider renting the house and moving there when his tenant’s lease came due for renewal.
His phone rang, and Ryan’s name flashed on the screen. Bracing himself, Cliff answered. “Hey.”
“What the fuck, Cliff? Someone shot at your windows? I just heard. One of my buddies mentioned it.”
Damn, news traveled fast.
“Yeah. It was pretty scary, not gonna lie.”
“Listen, I get off shift in about an hour. Want me to come hang out?”
About to say he didn’t need a babysitter, Cliff realized that sounded pretty stupid. Ryan was being a friend.
“Yeah. I think I’d like that.” And as soon as he said it, a wave of relief rolled through him.
“Good. I’ll pick up some lunch too.”
“Thanks. I hadn’t even thought about it.”
“I’m not surprised. You’re probably in shock.”
“It was terrifying. I’ve never been so scared in my life,” Cliff admitted, recalling his shaking hands of a few moments ago. “The window guys should be here soon to put in new glass.”
“Good. I was gonna ask if you’d had a chance to call.”
On cue, Cliff spotted the van from the glass shop as it rolled to a stop in front of the house. All the gossips and onlookers had disappeared once the police cars and investigators had left.
“And here they are.”
“Take it easy, Cliff. See you soon.”
Cliff disconnected and rose to let the window man inside.
* * *
Two and a half hours later, Ryan and Cliff crumpled up the wrappers from their sandwiches. Cliff handed him a beer and took one for himself.
“Cheers, brother.”
They clinked the glass longnecks, and Cliff took a healthy swig. “Paul and I are going to have a talk tonight.”
Ryan’s expression turned wary. “About…?”
“His brother. Which is going to lead into a discussion of Paul needing to protect me from things. I found out today that he’s received threatening notes and never told me.”
Ryan’s brows shot up. “Whoa. Wait a sec. That’s a lot to unpack. First, what the hell do you mean, threatening notes?”
Morose, Cliff stared into his beer. “Yeah. Two. Both under the windshield wipers of his car. The first about a month ago and the other this morning.”
“Damn. What did they say? The same thing?”
“Yeah. ‘I see you.’ ” Cliff stared at Ryan. “Creepy, right?”
“As fuck. Yeah. What did Paul do?”
“I don’t know,” Cliff said, his anger at being kept in the dark rising again. “I only found out about them this morning. I’m assuming he took them to the station to see if there was anything he could trace. But he didn’t tell me until he was forced to because someone shot two bullets through the window. And when I asked him about it, he claimed he was trying to protect me.” Cliff drank more beer. “I’m not a child who needs protection.”
“Did you tell him that?”
Cliff nodded. “And more. I told him I wasn’t a substitute for Harley and his chance to make things right.”
Ryan winced. “Ouch. How did he take that?”
“Not well,” Cliff admitted.
He scratched at the label of the beer bottle. The yawning mass of loneliness before Paul came into his life was no longer an option. He needed Paul, but Paul struggled to see it wasn’t his fault Harley died, and so it remained a wall between them. Breaking through that shield around Paul’s heart was proving to be a bigger task than he’d initially anticipated. It was about more than guilt.
He explained, “I know bringing Harley up hurts like hell, and I feel bad, but I also know I have to be on equal standing in this relationship and not let Paul drive the bus, so to speak. Every time one of my relationships has failed, it was because I gave in to what my partner wanted.”
“You think he’ll talk to you about it?”
Ryan hadn’t always been a fan of Paul’s, but in the months since Paul had moved in, they’d spent more time together and he’d come around. Still, Cliff suspected—without any proof—that Ryan didn’t fully trust Paul was as invested in the relationship as Cliff.
“I do. He’s changed a lot.”
“Yeah? How so?” Ryan settled into the couch, seeming sincere in wanting to understand.
“It’s in the little things, like always making sure I have a bottle of the wine I like to drink chilling in the refrigerator. He doesn’t drink it, so I know he’s looking out for me. Bringing home dinner from Maria’s, our favorite Italian place, when I’ve told him I had a hard day. Again, without me asking.” His lips curved in a smile at the warm thoughts. “Knowing how much my mother loves her romance novels and stopping by the bookstore to get the salesperson to pick out the newest releases for her when we go to their house for dinner. Imagine, a guy like Paul buying romance books.”
Ryan snickered. “Okay, you got me. That’s pretty damn funny.” He sobered. “But I get what you mean. And yeah, from the times we’ve had dinner together or I’ve come over to hang out, I can see how much he cares about you. His feelings are genuine.”
For Ryan to admit that was huge, as he’d been the most difficult person of any of his friends to win over.
“Thanks. I know he loves me. But I can’t stand the thought of him protecting me. Like I’m a child. I was on my own, taking care of myself, since my parents kicked me out. And I know the feelings stem from losing his brother before they had the chance to get close.”