Bucket thought for a moment. “It can’t, right? My mom always says, ‘The only constant in life is change.’ When I was little that made me feel scared. But now… things have got to change, right? Because if it feels like this forever…”
“If it stays this way, we’re going to have to see how far we can make it in your car.” Lucy thought of when the Hendersons had arrived to take custody of her. Sometimes things did get better, for a while at least.
Am I better off here, though? Really? I just watched two people die.
Bucket slapped the roof of his car. “Run in this? It’s on its last legs. Besides, what do we do for money?”
“Rob banks.”
“Really?”
“Well… no. I can’t stand wearing masks. But we could sell the shit we own. You save up your Culbertson’s money. We hop hostels and live cheap. We go north to Portland. I heard they’ll let you live in a tent there.”
“You want to live in a tent?”
“Not really. But I don’t think I can live here either. You heard Judah… It’s not going to change.”
“Uh, Judah’s kind of a burnout. I mean, he’s a nice guy, but he’s stuck in high school, you know? And he’s got a Nightwatchman bumper sticker on his truck. That’s like all that conspiracy theory bullshit. So maybe not a guy to run to for life advice.”
“Fine. Fuck it, dude! If you’re going to Negative Nelly all my shit, then you can take me home.”
“Fine. Hop in.” Bucket mope-walked around the front of his car and got out his keys.
Is this because I snapped at him? Or is he only bummed that Toni never showed?
“Wait.”
“What?”
“Just wait… I’m sorry. It’s not you. You know that. Please. I can’t go home yet.”
Bucket returned to her side. They both stared at the last of the sunset. The sky melted from purple-pink to dark blue as the outline of the mountains in the distance burned bright white
Lucy said, “This place is really pretty if you don’t think about it.”
Bucket laughed, then shivered. “How much longer you want to stay here?”
“Couple minutes. There’s always one last color change after it drops behind the range.”
“Fine. I want some tacos soon, though.” Bucket pulled his phone from his pocket and started scrolling. “Fuck. Signal’s still weird. Keeps popping me over to emergency-only bars.”
“You gotta change services.”
“I know. But Mom says if I want to switch, then I have to pay for it, so… It’s not that, anyway. Kevin Gearhart told me his phone’s been jacked too.”
Lucy remembered seeing Bill walking around the yard that morning staring at his phone. What’d he say to Carol? “Desert wind’s playing hell with the signal.” Maybe Bucket was right. Lucy didn’t really care—she’d been off her phone and social media since the incident. Dr. Nielsen said that was fine, and Lucy missed it less with each day.
Bucket was back near the store entrance, holding his phone aloft, his body contorted, his face lit by dim blue light. “Down to one bar. Damn. But I’m back on.”
Lucy kicked at a piece of filthy ABC gum stuck to the sidewalk. She was ready to go. But Bucket was excited about something. He hopped in place for fear of losing his connection. “Holy shit. Yes. They did it! No more school for this year. They’re just mailing diplomas to the seniors and calling off everything else. Looks like some parents are furious. They’re organizing their own graduation event for the seniors out at the Ridgecrest golf course.”
Lucy felt relief wash over her—they could give those seniors acid and fucking rocket launchers for all she cared. The important fact was that she wouldn’t have to go back to Spring Meadow.
“And everybody’s freaking out about summer being here. Sounds like there’s a big party out at East Bear Caves tomorrow night. Brewer says he can drive us out if we want to come.”
Lucy rolled her eyes. Danny Brewer was a loadie who covered his bad skin with a mop of dyed black hair and was constantly out of school on drug-related suspensions. He had a habit of offering things to Bucket, acting like he was a friend, but Lucy saw the way Brewer looked at her. She understood his angle.
He was actually kind of cute, somewhere under his blemishes and bad posture and greasy hair, but Lucy had a learned aversion to anybody who was constantly fucked up—she’d trust a wild animal first.
“That’s a hard pass for me, Bucket. Have you seen all the dents in Brewer’s truck?”
Bucket ignored her, transfixed by his phone. She saw a new, disturbed look on his face and felt fresh anxiety flutter across her skin. “What? What is it?”
“Jason Ward.”
“What about him? His parents buy him another Jaguar?” Ward was a first-class collar-popping asshole who lived in an iron-gated compound so high on Brower Butte that it looked out over valleys on every side. He’d never said a word to Lucy, but he had a habit of spitting on Bucket’s locker whenever he walked by, leaving fat green snot slugs during the winter cold season.
“No, it’s nothing like that,” Bucket said. “He’s missing. Nobody has seen him for three days. Looks like his parents reported it yesterday.”
What kind of parents wait that long to call the cops?
Lucy wondered if Jason’s parents were like hers back in Peru—maybe they only noticed him when it was convenient.
“That’s not the worst part. I don’t want to lose the connection. You’ve got to come over here.”
Lucy didn’t know if she had space in her mind for any more “worst parts,” but her curiosity got the better of her.
“Look,” Bucket said. “Carrie Zielinski’s comment.”
There was Carrie’s perfect face, a slight sideways tilt to her head highlighting her pricey cosmetics and long neck leading down to a cashmere sweater. The message next to her picture read:
saw him when I was working at Tastie’s on Tuesday night
he was kind of pale and he kept rubbing a bandage on his neck
he bought a waffle cone with cookies and cream but wasn’t eating it and it started melting and when I told him he acted like he couldn’t hear me
he was looking straight ahead and he said something like they did this to me and I said who and he said they don’t care it won’t stop and his hands were shaking and then he dropped the ice cream and ran out
sooooooo worried you guys oh my god
I am having a really hard time with this but my thoughts and prayers are with his family
We love you Jason come home safe
Lucy shivered. She looked away from the phone to find she had missed the final falling colors of the sunset. It felt like all that was left of the desert was darkness and sharp winds.
“Fuck. Can we go home now?”
She and Bucket got in the car then, and neither said a word on the drive home because they knew they’d talk about Jason, and that would mean acknowledging the truth they could feel in their bones: Jason was not safe, and he needed more than thoughts and prayers, and when they got home they would have to work harder than ever to pretend that anything was okay.