First is a text from Elle, the Poe Foundation media consultant I hired, with a link to my speech. I can’t look yet. Then texts from my staff to be sure I got home okay. Next, a message to Ethan at 1:50 a.m.: B HOME NOON.
Oops on the typo, but it means I left around closing time at the Sider. We’re a block from there, so it’s possible it closed, I left my wallet, and Terrance came after me. Maybe . . . maybe . . . I shake my aching head, frustrated by how little I remember. So stupid.
Taking a deep breath, I continue to the next message thread. This one with Terrance.
Me (9:05 p.m.): You owe me a drink for bailing like that on our big night.
Terrance: We need to talk. But give me time. Have to sneak out. Short leash.
Me: Naughty boy?
Me: (GIF of Beyoncé dancing to “Naughty Girl”)
Terrance (9:27 p.m.): Where are you?
Me: Sider on Hope Street. My girl Sarah is bartending. It’ll be worth it ;)
Terrance: Be there as soon as I can.
“Shit,” I whisper. “I invited him.”
He would still be alive if I hadn’t texted him to meet me. If he hadn’t tried to return my wallet and run into a murderer. I read his text again with the realization that these are the last words between us. Well, that I remember.
Rubbing at the lines between my eyebrows, I try to stay calm. Of course Drunk Me had texted him. I basked in his glow every second possible, brought up to anyone who is anyone that the Poe Foundation is . . . was working with the Dr. Terrance Castle on this national launch.
“I’m hoping for Oprah, but we’ll settle for Savannah” was my refrain. It usually got a laugh and a twinkle of jealousy. It certainly skyrocketed the Poe Foundation’s proverbial stock in most people’s eyes. And finally gave me the boost to reach the CEO rung of the ladder.
“Jules,” Ethan calls. “Are you up yet? There’s a bunch of police by the Sider.”
“Yeah,” I yell back. My stomach drops at the mention of police, knowing the screech is almost over, and I’m close to the crash. “Jumping in the shower.”
I take my phone into the bathroom, and I turn on the water. Sitting on the edge of the claw-foot tub, I scroll through the photos. There are a few at the event. The big champagne fountain I insisted on having with the selfie station to raise a glass—#CheerstoCastle. Then a group shot with the board. I look drunk. My eyes are glassy and my smile way too big. I made sure to stand right next to Miller.
I’m really never drinking again.
My grin gets wider as the photos wear on. I’m at the Sider, and it’s a selfie with the bartender, Sarah. The next few are with the owner, Sean, who looks pretty drunk himself, with his arm around my waist. I roll my eyes, which hurts, at more selfies at the bar with people I don’t know.
I keep scrolling until I find Terrance’s face. His grin. The two of us sitting at the bar. It’s blurry, but I can see his nose pressed into my cheek. We’re both laughing, and I do remember the euphoria, even if I have no visual memory. I was happy next to him on that barstool. But then what?
My hangover and this terrible news have opened every floodgate of anxiety. I’m jittery from emotions warring for my attention. I blink away tears and stare up at the ceiling, wishing last night had been different. That I was different.
I have to shower and start figuring out how to survive this day. I quickly google TERRANCE CASTLE, and there are the usual articles, nothing new, so his name hasn’t been released yet.
The Providence Daily has a brief write-up that a body was found in an alley behind the Wrong Side of Hope Bar. There’s a comment that the man was attacked. No one confirms. I check Terrance’s name on social media, but there’s nothing new there either. His last tweet was about an upcoming art show featuring one of his students. Most of his Facebook posts are clips from the Poe Foundation about his Genius Grant.
There are no other details about Terrance’s murder. No suspects listed.
I return to the text from Elle with a link to the video of my announcement speech. And her message: 10K views already!
Just wait, Elle.
Still, I’m relieved, because this is what I need to piece last night together. My thumb hovers over the link. This video is probably the last footage ever recorded of Terrance Castle.
How far that possibility was from my mind when I made my argument to the board that we needed to record the announcement. I stood at the head of the long glass table, cocked my hand onto one hip, and said, “Like a tree falling in the forest for no one to hear, if it’s not on video, did it even really happen?”
We’re about to find out.
I press play.
VIDEO TRANSCRIPT 1
LIVE RECORDING
THE POE FOUNDATION
July 10th
INT. BALLROOM—NIGHT
JULIET WELLINGTON-SMITH strides across the stage at THE PROVIDENCE HOTEL ballroom in front of a formally dressed crowd.
JULIET
Welcome everyone here in the room. You’re looking gorgeous. And welcome to the thousands of viewers watching us live online. I’m Juliet Wellington-Smith, CEO of the Poe Foundation.
Looking around the room, I see financial supporters who have made this night possible. And I also see a couple people who are just here for the champagne.
LAUGHTER
But seriously, we are so grateful for your support, which makes tonight and our big announcement possible.
Yes, Rhode Island is the smallest state, but that is not just geography. That’s a mentality. We go to Florida beaches before our own. We don’t cross bridges to see the history of Newport, and we don’t drive ten minutes to the Hill to get the best Italian food in New England.
LAUGHTER
I see you, Rhode Island. I’ve lived here my whole life, so I get it. But listen, if we don’t appreciate what’s great about us, then how can we grow and improve and do truly great things?
We need to see ourselves differently. If we do, then we can show the world why we’re great.
And one of the greatest people in our state is Dr. Terrance Castle. It’s my great honor to announce the first-ever Rhode Island Genius Grant being awarded to him tonight along with a check for one million dollars to spread his message across the country.
APPLAUSE
Dr. Castle is not only a Rhode Islander, but he’s a nationally respected professor of American Studies at Brown University and a leading advocate for restorative justice.
Dr. Castle has put forth remarkable ideas in his books, essays, and national TV appearances that are helping heal divisions within our communities impacted by crime. Let’s welcome Dr. Castle.
APPLAUSE as TERRANCE CASTLE walks across the stage to stand near JULIET. TERRANCE whispers in her ear, but she continues her speech.
JULIET
Now, I’ve only been CEO of the Poe Foundation a few months, but I’m hardly a newbie. In fact, the Poe Foundation was my first job out of Harvard, and I’ve never looked back. Even if our board chair Miller over there wishes I would.
LAUGHTER
Being CEO of the Poe Foundation has always been my dream because it’s an incredible organization founded by my father, Louis Worthington, who I’m sure is watching tonight—hi Dad—he had a vision of spreading great ideas from our small state of Rhode Island to the rest of the world.
Now, thanks to your support, we’re realizing that vision with Dr. Castle leading the way. We can hear more about it from Dr. Castle—