Did I explain my thoughts well enough? Maybe I should apologize.
Before I can decide, Maya snaps, “You aren’t a—well, that.” She frowns as she points at True. “And you—” she turns on me “—aren’t a fat girl. Stop saying that!”
Matt clasps True on the shoulder. “It’s okay, dude. Arden is good people. You can trust her.”
I can see a slow relaxation move over True, but his nod is jerky. His cheeks flush red, and he blinks.
“Sorry.”
He takes my hand again, all too briefly, and I try to ignore the fascinating little zing. Fascinating because, as it turns out, it has to be a gay man who grabs my attention like . . . well, like maybe no one else ever.
So much for Opal’s brilliant advice.
Good job, Arden. Mentally, I give myself a sarcastic pat on the back. Pick the least available guy in the crowd and fall for him.
I haven’t fallen for him, I argue with myself. He’s just . . . hot.
“It’s okay.”
I try to ignore my stupid thoughts as I reassure him, and I even make eye contact with him. His irises are captivating, a deep, mysterious brown. Emotion swims teasingly, but then he blinks again, and it’s gone before I can identify any of it.
What can I say to make it better? “Really, I’m the one who should apologize. I just didn’t realize . . .”
My voice fades with a nervous smile. Jesus, I’m on the verge of making it worse!
“Forget it. I’m usually not sensitive about it, but being gay in this group is a hit-or-miss proposition,” he admits. “Some people have been great, but others aren’t so accepting.”
Others.
I nod. “I get it. Believe me. Half of ‘em are my family, and—”
I cut the words off, glare at Maya. “Who was it?”
“What?” She glances away.
“Who said something ugly?”
“Arden . . .”
“It was my mother, wasn’t it?”
“Hey,” Matt says, sounding overly jovial. “What’s that quote about the sins of our fathers?”
“Oh, God.” I cover my face with my hands.
“C’mon, sweetie,” says Maya, but I shake my head.
“I’m so sorry.” I force myself to meet True’s gaze once again, sorrow and apology written all over my face. “I know exactly what they’re like, and I’m so embarrassed.”
“Don’t worry about it.” True smiles, and it looks surprisingly genuine. At least I hope it is. “The sins of the fathers, like Matt said,” he adds. “Or, in this case, the mother.”
Thank God the line moves at that point, giving me an excuse to look away as I pull my bags forward a few feet. It’s a relief to see I’m next in line, but that’s short-lived.
“Uh, Arden? Sweetie?” says Maya.
“Yeah?” I’m distracted, busy sending telepathic messages of hurry, hurry, hurry to the reservations agent. Get me out of this!
Of course, nothing happens.
“You know Susan’s here, right?”
Okay, this demands my attention. “Yeah. I expected it.”
I knew she was coming. She’s another bridesmaid, and though I haven’t seen my sister since I caught her fucking my now ex-boyfriend, I’ve been preparing myself mentally for it.
“Well, she’s not—alone.”
“Not . . . alone?” I blink. “What do you—”
My voice dies suddenly and completely, like all the air in my body was just sucked out of existence. I take a step back, cough for a breath, and then stare between Maya and Matt and back again.
“What. Do. You. Mean?” I ask, already knowing—and hating—the answer.
“She . . . uh, brought a plus one,” says Matt.
“And that is who?”
Whom, that same snotty voice corrects, but it sounds like a nasty growl.
“She brought Eddie,” says Maya softly.
My heart’s already started pounding, but now it’s going so hard, I’m surprised the others can’t see it through my chest. A sickening hole widens itself throughout my stomach, and I wonder if I’m going to be sick.
“She brought Eddie-fucking-Butler?” I demand, glancing around like I’m looking for an escape route.
Maybe I am.
I notice True looking between us like he’s watching a tennis match, probably wondering what the hell is going on. What’s wrong with me. Too bad, but I can’t spare the attention to explain. I’m not even sure I can explain, because I don’t understand on any level how either one of them could think it was a good idea for him to come along.
Not after I caught them in mid-fuck.
But then, when have either of them thought about anybody except themselves?
“I’m sorry,” Maya apologizes and takes my hand. “I didn’t know. Susan just said she had a plus one. I never in a million years guessed she’d bring him. They got here yesterday, but I didn’t see them until late last night. You were already in the air, so I couldn’t warn you.”
“She brought Eddie-fucking-Butler,” I say again, but it isn’t a question this time. I’m not even sure why I say it, except maybe I need to convince myself that Susan is really that cruel.
“Next,” calls the desk clerk, and I look forward. A woman stares back, surprising me with her bored and impatient expression. It’s the exact opposite of most Hawaiians’ Aloha attitude.
“You guys go on.” I force a swallow, a breath, and give Maya a quick hug. “I’ll catch up with you after I check in and shower.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah. I’ll be fine.” I’m not sure it’s true, but I’m a big girl. I can fake it long enough to check into the hotel.
Right?
The more I breathe, the more I’m able to regain the feeling of control. My anger at the two of them has never completely died, not without the apology that neither has bothered to make. Fretting over it now is just a waste of time.
Besides, it isn’t like I still have feelings for that asshole or my bitch of a sister. They pretty much blew any of that sky high and then very effectively cauterized the wounds.
No, it’s about them parading their betrayal of me and my feelings in front of everyone we know. Of them trying to humiliate me again and me being forced to swallow it. Always for the sake of keeping the peace during a family event.
Susan knows it, and she always uses it against me when she’s fucked me over.
“You guys go on,” says True. “I’ll stay here with Arden.”
“Thanks, man,” says Matt, just as I say, “That’s nice of you to offer, but it really isn’t necessary.”
“Maybe not,” he smiles softly, “but I feel like I owe you. I jumped to the wrong conclusion pretty quickly.”
I open my mouth to argue when the desk clerk says impatiently, “Ma’am?”
I sigh, turn back to the reception counter, and wave as the M&Ms head for the pool area. I dig deep for an apologetic smile as I step forward.
“I have a reservation. Arden Lowell.”
The young woman nods without returning my smile and begins to type on her computer. I wait silently, aware of True standing just behind my shoulder, and I wish for once that the universe would cooperate with me.