“Do you like pain, Kieran?”
Did I like pain? What kind of a question was that? Our little wrestling match didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of our families, and as soon as she sat back on her chair, Ava narrowed her eyes on us. Yeah, I got it. She wasn’t the only one confused by Ophelia’s behavior.
“No, I don’t like pain.”
“You should.” She moved back, ridding me of the sweet vanilla scent she always had, and lifted the knife from the table. “Because pain is all we will ever know. It can set you free.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck... There it was, the darkness rising. “Why would I need it to set me free?”
I looked around the table, but everyone seemed to be too distracted with their own conversations. Well, everyone except for Ava who still kept sending daggers Ophelia’s way. That was another mess I would have to deal after this forsaken dinner was finished.
I inched my chair closer to Ophelia’s, hoping no one would be able to hear us that way. She ignored me, seemingly lost in thoughts.
“Phee,” I whispered, hoping to bring her back from wherever she went.
“Is this what madness feels like?” she suddenly asked, looking straight at me, the smile she wore just a second ago diminished. It was like watching a manic episode in person, only this one was going from the highest high, to the lowest low in a span of seconds.
“What do you mean?” I prayed to everything possible in this universe that she wasn’t on drugs. I checked her pupils, but they were the normal size. Dealing with Cillian’s addiction, knowing her mother, I wasn’t really sure what to think about her erratic behavior. This world we were thrown into, this strange, dark world, didn’t allow you to be weak. You were either a hunter, or you were the one being hunted. There was no in between, no blurred lines and gray areas.
Hide your emotions, they warned us.
Show them your teeth, they told us.
What did they do to her? Why was she asking me all of this? This world didn’t allow friends, didn’t allow love—only lust and hatred.
“There is… something inside of me. It’s crawling, trying to get out. It’s dark. So, so, dark...” She shuddered as if the mere thought scared her. “I am just like him, am I not? Just like my father. A monster, a murderer. I can’t. I can’t…”
Her breathing got frantic, her eyes unfocused. I gripped her hand, pulling it into my lap.
“Phee,” I started soothingly. “Look at me.”
She started pulling her hand from mine, but I just gripped her tighter, placing my other hand around her shoulders.
“Phee, look at me. Please.”
She finally focused on me. Her body relaxed but the sight of tears in her eyes gripped at my chest. I hated it, hated seeing her like this.
“You’re not a monster, okay?” I stroked her knuckles with my thumb. “If you are, then so am I. Do you think I’m a monster?”
She started shaking her head. “No.”
“Then you aren’t one either.”
My heart was jackhammering inside of my chest at the mere thought that this girl, this beautiful, strong girl, was looking for reassurance from me. Maybe, just maybe, the demons we both had could dance together, thrive together, instead of destroying us. Even if I was probably just the first person she saw she could talk to, it didn’t matter. My chest hurt for her, my instincts urging me to protect her. She thought there was something inside of her, something dark, sinister, but it was in all of us. All of us learned how to tame our darkness, how to control our demons, and I was going to teach her. I was going to show her that not all of those demons would eat us from the inside out.
I never did drugs, I didn’t know the feeling of a high when it came, but her presence alone was the best opium I could ever have. The best kind of high I could ever experience, and goddammit, I wasn’t going to allow anyone to take it away.
“Kieran.”
At the mention of my name, I extracted myself from her, turning toward Cillian.
“Is everything okay?”
He kept glancing at Ophelia, then back at me, but we didn’t have time to discuss all of this now. We had to survive this whole dinner without any casualties first. I nodded, and before he could ask another question, the devil himself spoke again.
“I am so happy to see you getting along so well with Ekaterina, Kieran.” She stiffened next to me, but didn’t look at him. Was it my turn to get aggravated now? “Isn’t it perfect, Logan?”
Nikolai chuckled with my father. “It sure is Niko.”
I was getting confused with the whole dynamics of this dinner. They usually were fucked up, but this one… this one took the number one spot on the list. My father hated Nikolai with everything he had, but he wasn’t strong enough on his own. The Asters always craved more. They wanted the world to be at their feet—not just to own it, but to burn it down. Logan Nightingale might represent himself as a strong man, but everyone could recognize a follower when they saw one.
And that’s what my father was—a blind follower.
“This just makes everything so much easier.”
What makes everything easier? Me being nice to Ophelia?
“Logan and I wanted to wait a little bit with this news, but seeing as almost everyone is here, why wait?”
I looked at our mother, but she kept staring at our father, a confused look on her face. Did she not know either?
“Kieran,” my father started, “you will soon be twenty-one, am I correct?”
“Yes.” But where the fuck was he going with this?
“And Ophelia, you are going to be eighteen soon?”
“In November,” she replied quietly. My mind was trying to figure out what they were planning, but nothing, none of my theories could prepare me for what Nikolai announced next.
“Well,” he stood up from his chair, taking the glass filled with wine in his left hand, “seeing as we are basically a family, Logan and I have decided to truly strengthen those bonds.”
Ava paled at his words, and I found myself fidgeting in my seat. Did she know something? She told me she had to talk to me, had to share something with me, but we didn’t have time. Was this it?
“My son isn’t here yet. He is late as per usual.” The disgust in Nikolai’s voice was hard to miss. “Nevertheless,” he continued, “he will find out later. Ava,” he looked at my sister and unease started rolling in my gut, “you’re almost like a third daughter to me, and I cannot wait to officially welcome you to the family.”
What the fuck was he talking about?
“What’s this all about?” Cillian asked, his knee bouncing again, no doubt as confused as I was with all of Nikolai’s babbling.
“This, my boy, is me officially announcing that Ava will be marrying Theo in a couple of months—”
“You can’t fucking do that.” Cillian jumped from his chair, knocking it to the floor in the process. I was in shock, but I kicked my ass into action when Cillian started rounding the table. I stepped in front of him before he could reach Nikolai, the sound of sobs slicing through the air.
Ava.
“Go back to your seat, Cillian.” Our father stood next to me, taking a hold of Cillian’s arm, but he wasn’t having it.