“I’m a big girl,” she tells me, mock confidence radiating from her. She thinks I can’t tell how nervous she is, but the shake of her hand and the way her lip is quivering is telling me otherwise. “I can make good choices on my own.”
“Good choices are made with your mind and it seems like you only know how to make choices with your heart,” I scoff just as Jerome pulls up with my car. I grip the counter and lean in close to her, lowering my voice as I viciously speak to her. “And not one damn thing ever turned out right for me when I listened to mine.”
The look that flashes across her face pisses me off. So badly I turn around and storm out to my waiting car before she can respond. I steal one last glance at her through the front glass doors of the apartment building before getting in and driving away.
Chapter Two
RUBY—TEN YEARS AGO
“You need to stop pretending you don’t have a crush on her, Si, we all know you want to bone my best friend.” Cece laughs from the doorway of Messiah’s bedroom. I look over at her from where I’m sitting on his bookshelf and laugh at how annoying she’s being.
“You’re late Crys, I already did,” Messiah says, standing from his bed, his sweatpants hitting low on his waist as he crosses the room, closing the door in her face.
“You’re such an ass,” I tell him, laughing again as my best friend bangs on her twin's bedroom door, demanding he open it immediately.
He doesn’t, because he never listens to anything she says. He’s too big for her to do anything about it anyway. She hates it, but I love their bickering. No matter how much they fight, they never give up on the other and it’s what I love the most about them.
“Messiah Ren Clark! I swear on your life I will chop your fucking balls off and feed them to you if you don’t open this damn door,” Cece yells from the other side and I just shake my head as he continues to walk toward me.
“She’ll get over it,” he tells me. “And anyway, she started messing with me first.”
“You and I both know it doesn’t matter to her.”
“Letting her squirm doesn’t matter to me,” he tells me as he stops in front of me. “She’s a brat.”
“Y'all spoil her,” I laugh.
“Not me, my granny,” he says, shaking his head. “She’s always trying to overcompensate.”
“At least she tries” I shrug and Cece’s banging finally stops.
“You two suck,” she says from the other side of the door and we laugh. “I’m giving you ten minutes and then I’m coming back and please open the door for me because I really do have something to talk to you about, asshole.”
“Fuck off Crystina.”
I shake my head at him, but he just smirks darkly, coming closer. He’s gotten bold with her over the last few weeks about us, but it only means Cece does nothing but badger me about what we are to each other anytime she has me alone. It’s not a bad thing, because in all honesty I don’t think she cares but she just hates being left out, and us not telling her is leaving her out.
“Why don’t you just—”
“What,” he asks quickly, cutting me off. “Why don’t I just tell her I fuck you any chance I can get? Or how any time she leaves us alone I never stop touching you and you love it?”
He’s in front of me now with his hands all over me just like he’s talking about, and I do love it, but I wouldn’t care if Cece knew it. He’s the one who hasn’t wanted to tell her. I think it he’s just being stupid. “Yeah why don’t you tell her?”
He smiles and those dimples, they melt me. I hate how perfect his face is and when his blue eyes lock on my lips I close the distance between us before he can. I kiss him hard and he pulls me closer to him by my ass and I slide off the bookshelf. He grips under my legs and turns us around and we land on his bed with a knock and we both laugh, knowing Cece will be even more pissed now.
Almost on cue Cece yells from the hallway, “Fuck this, I’m not waiting!”
The door opens with enough force to make it bang against the wall and I lay under Messiah as her eyes finally find mine. I’m smiling at her and her eyes are tiny slits as he looks at her too. He has the biggest smile on his face, and I know she won’t be able to hold her ground for long. Her eyes are narrowed as she stands in the doorway with her hands on her hips but her angry facade is already cracking when she takes a step in our direction.
“So are you two official now?” she asks, stopping just inside the room and putting her hand on her hip. “I do deserve to know.”
“This is why we haven’t said shit to you,” Messiah tells her with a laugh. “You put more pressure on us than we do.”
“Well, my best friend isn’t going to be your little fuck toy,” she tells him, and I laugh loudly and close my eyes as I shake my head. “Don’t laugh, Ruby, I don’t care how bomb his dick is, we don’t let boys use us, we use them.”
“Oh my god,” Messiah booms, pushing off of the bed and sitting back on his heels. “I’m not fucking using her, but neither of us give a fuck about labels.”
“Well, I do. So, if you’re fucking her, you better understand no bitch will touch you now. I’ll get the word out saying you’re completely off limits,” she tells him, and I sit up with a disgusted look on my face.
“Fucking hell, Cece. What if I don’t want him off limits?” I ask her.
“Then you’re stupid, these girls out here are wild, Rue. You have to protect yourself," she scolds but I just run my hand over my face.
"I swear you act like I'm just like all the dicks you choose to date," he snaps at her, and the vibe in the room shifts to a more serious one. "I am not like them."
"You have a dick," she says with a shrug. "Y'all all think the same."
"You're a bitch," he laughs, shaking his head before standing up, "but are y'all trying to get into anything tonight?"
"I hear there's a party out by the warehouses, but sounds pretty sketchy." Cece tells us, chuckling as she turns to look into the mirror on top of Messiah’s dresser. It’s right in front of his bed and she can see me in the mirror as I’m stare back at her. Her golden skin is darker thanks to all of the time we’ve spent outside this summer. She’s had this special glow lately.
"What do you mean?" Messiah asks, walking over to his closet and sliding the door over, revealing most of his clothing.
"You know how those killings have been happening more and more around the city?” she asks, twirling around to face him. “Well, from what I've heard there's this new guy in town and he has some gang or something and he's literally just taking over people's shit left and right," she explains and I look over at Messiah who is completely invested in what she's saying.
"There's been like ten killings in the last month," I say with a questioning look at Messiah, "isn't that what you told us earlier?" He nods.
"Yeah, so anyway the party is sketchy because the guys who work for this new dude are the ones throwing the party," Cece tells us and I watch Messiah's smile grow and I know in this moment there won't be much anyone can do to keep him from the party.