“No one wants to be me,” I counter as we pull onto our street. “Look at that.” I slow the car down next to the two lots of charred out rubble where my home and Everett’s once stood. Not even the snow wants to stick to that mess. “That’s outright destruction, Carlotta. And it’s all because I couldn’t seem to listen to Nell and not get involved with the Hearst murder investigation back in October. I’m an idiot is what I am. And somewhere in the burnt out mess lies a metaphor for my life that I don’t dare try to winnow out. Besides, I’m a mother now.” I sniff back tears, my eyes still very much glued to the vacant wasteland before me. “I’ve got someone else to think about other than myself. I need to put the baby first. Maybe Noah and Everett are right. Getting tangled up in these homicide investigations isn’t in the baby’s best interest.” They’ve been saying it for months. And I’ve been ignoring them for months on the subject, too.
“Don’t let a man tell you what to do with your life, Lot Lot. I may not have taught you much, but you get that nugget through your stubborn little noggin. You’re a killer catcher, Lottie Lemon. Legends are made of women like you. Sure, you’re probably going to get snared in the barbaric clutches of some deranged psychopath one of these days—and Foxy and Sexy will have to concede and marry those blonde bimbo stalkers of theirs—and your kid will be raised by Evie Stevie and me—and the bakery will end up closing its—”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake, never mind.” I zip into my new driveway and honk the horn per the instructions Everett gave me, and sure enough, Noah and Everett come running out of the house, as do Evie and Mayor Nash.
“Ha!” Carlotta barks. “Well, look at the party!”
We get out of the car and my eyes magnetize to my new rental.
“The door!” I gasp. When I left this morning, the little white house across the street from Noah’s cabin was almost an exact replica of my old rental which once stood next door to it. It has the same one-level design, same wraparound porch, but the door had faded from a cheery bright red like my own door had been, to a somewhat spotted pink catastrophe.
After my neighbor, Hot Hannah, was brutally killed last month, the house went for lease and Everett snatched it right up. We had a chance to tour the inside, and everything is pretty much the same as my old place with the exception that the master bedroom and bathroom are palatial.
That bathtub can fit half of Honey Hollow in it, and you can bet your bottom bubble bath dollar that Everett and I will be swimming in it as soon as tonight—naked, of course, with lascivious intent. Our stay at Noah’s has been a rather prolonged dry spell for the both of us. Let’s just say I’ve made more coital visits to the Ashford Courthouse than I’ve ever imagined these past few weeks. But in my defense, I have needs and hormones and a husband to keep happy.
But right now, that door is painted a bright candy apple red, and there’s even a fresh evergreen wreath on it. A strand of colorful Christmas lights is strung over the roofline and lit up like a dream. It might be late afternoon but with those dark purple clouds up above, and the entire house illuminated like a jack-o-lantern, it looks more like the dead of night.
Evie hops in front of me. “Check out the decorations on the porch, Mom!” She grabs my hand and leads me up the stairs.
Giant poinsettias sit at either side of the door and evergreen garland outlines the door.
“This is gorgeous,” I say, turning to look at Noah and Everett.
Everett has on jeans and a flannel, a look I’m not used to seeing on him, and, might I add, he looks drop-dead gorgeous. Not a euphemism someone like me should be using but still.
“It was all for you, Lemon.” He pulls me in, and I can’t help but notice a sugary sweet scent clinging to his shirt. “I went down to the tree lot and picked up the garland and the wreath.”
Noah steps up. “And as soon as your car pulled away this morning, I painted the door for you.”
Mayor Nash grunts hard and we look over to see him scooping up Carlotta in his arms.
“Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen,” he continues to grunt as his face turns three shades of red then quickly purple.
Carlotta kicks her legs in the air. “Let’s break this bad boy in the old-fashioned way!” She looks my way. “If the bedroom’s a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’.”
“Eww!” Evie groans herself. “That’s freaking gross, Carlotta. He’s, like, old. And so are you.”
“Have a candy cane and calm down, Evie,” Carlotta snips back. “Besides, I’m betting your two daddies have a feast laid out for us inside. I’ve got to put something solid in my stomach first if I want to build my stamina.”
Noah opens the door for them, and Mayor Nash staggers forward, slamming Carlotta’s head on the doorframe so hard I could swear I heard a crack. She goes limp and the rest of us gasp.
“Kidding!” She perks back to life, but her eyes look as if they’re going in two different directions.
Once they’ve disappeared inside, Evie motions to Everett and Noah.
“Come on, one of you pick Mom up so we get to the food. I’ve got to build my stamina up, too. I still have to finish decorating my room.” She steps into the house and pulls out her phone. “I’ll take a picture. I want to get Mom’s face when she sees the big reveal.”
Carlotta yelps from inside. “Come on in, Lot Lot!” She scuttles to the door with both Pancake and Waffles in her arms. “You’re not going to believe your eyes!”
Mayor Nash appears behind them with a slice of pizza in his hand. “The food’s good, too!”
Everett steps back, his lips curling at the tips, and his excitement, though somewhat muted, is darn near palpable.
“You ready to do this, Lemon?”
“No,” Noah answers for me.
“What?” Everett snips with clear irritation, in a tone that he doesn’t invoke all that much. Come to think of it—I squint over at his face, and his lower lip looks a little swollen in the corner. Boy, they really did have a knock-down, drag-out fistfight.
“I’m sorry, Lot.” Noah looks decidedly ticked himself. “But I want to carry you in. You’re only married to Everett as a part of that technicality to get his trust fund to pay out—even though that was all proven to be a scam. Deep down, I know you’re just seeing where this goes with him.” He glares at his former stepbrother. “Everett, you get Lottie in ways that I may never have her again. She’s the last thing you see at night and the first thing you see in the morning. It would mean everything to me if I could carry her over that threshold. Besides, you’ve got a broken arm and she’s with child. God forbid you drop her. You’d never forgive yourself.”
A low-lying growl emits from the deepest part of Everett.
“Fine,” he grunts. “But it means nothing. It’s merely a form of transportation.” His lips cinch together. “Are you okay with this, Lemon?”
“At this point I’d ride on Toby’s back so long as I get to see what’s happening inside.”
Noah scoops me up into his warm, strong arms and his dimples press in deep as he whisks us through the front door.