Matthew’s special girl.
Professor Rapson and Dr Dowson
What those two can do with half a lime and two beer mats has been banned across seven continents.
Mr Markham
Head of Security. Another of Matthew’s uncles.
Mr Evans
Yes, yet another, etc. Member of the Security Section and unofficial doorstop.
Previously on the Time Police . . .
A long time ago in the future, the secret of time travel was discovered and, people being what they are, the world nearly ended.
Just for once, however, and to the surprise of all, the world pulled itself together in time to avert disaster. Nation cooperated with nation and the Time Police were formed. Their purpose was to eradicate illegal time travel and restore the timeline – or as much of it as could be restored. Sometimes it was nothing better than a cut-and-shut job, but if that was what it took then that was what was done.
Ruthless, efficient and with their famous couldn’t give a rat’s arse attitude, the Time Police paid a high price – at one point there were only thirteen officers still standing – but they succeeded. Time travel was, more or less, eradicated.
Of course, once the situation was under control, the governments that had been so enthusiastic now began to regard the Time Police as pretty much having outlived their usefulness. No government is ever happy with an organisation better equipped, better funded and more efficient than they are. Especially one not answerable to that bunch of mindless, ungrateful, demanding, awkward-question-asking bunch of troublemakers usually referred to in public as the electorate. Behind the scenes, the diplomatic wheels began to turn.
The Time Police themselves were not unaware that, ironically, times were changing. The more astute among them prepared to adapt themselves to the hazards of peacetime. A new commander was appointed to guide Time Police boots down gentler paths.
But, although Time moves on, old threats can reappear in a new guise. Temporal Tourism, for instance, is illegal but extremely lucrative for those prepared to take the risks. And Big Business, often more powerful and frequently more intelligent than any government, is prepared to take that risk. As Commander Hay repeatedly reminds her unit, new threats require new methods of attack. Bursting in, shooting everyone within a five-mile radius and torching anything left standing – while having its merits – is not conducive to intel gathering. And intel is now a large part of the game. Under her direction, the Hunter Division has been strengthened and, under Major Callen, given virtual autonomy.
Grumbling and dragging their feet, the Time Police are preparing to meet new threats.
Enter Team Weird.
Luke
I can’t believe I’m still in the Time Police. And this time it’s all my own fault. I can’t say I wasn’t given every opportunity to blow them off for good. All I had to do was what my dad wanted – which is probably where it all went wrong because I’ve never been that brilliant at doing as dear old Dad wants.
Let’s be clear – at this very moment, I could be sprawled in a luxurious, rent-free Hong Kong hideaway, with an Asian lovely in one hand and something long and cold in the other. A statement open to misinterpretation but I’m too frozen to care. My point is that I could be out there enjoying the excitement, the exhilaration, the buzz of cosmopolitan life and the wonderful, life-giving, incredibly hot sunshine.
I’d have my own office – offices, even. My own staff, every one of them absolutely drop-dead gorgeous, all leaping to do my bidding whenever I bidded. My every need would be catered for, and trust me, my needs are many and imaginative.
Instead of which I’m trapped here in the Time Police as a trainee, the lowest of the low. I’ve been shot at and scared shitless on an Egyptian hillside. I’ve been menaced by a rabbit – and before you laugh, you should have seen the size of the bloody thing. And it was pregnant. If you think pregnant women are cranky, you should meet an artificially engineered, lab-produced super-rabbit. We had to chase it nearly the length and breadth of Australia – a country which, I might add, has been very slow to show the sort of monetary gratitude that might have made it all worthwhile. I’ve been attacked by barely sentient denizens of the 20th century and their feral children. And don’t even get me started on Sarah Smith. The list goes on and on and I’m not even a fully qualified officer yet.
Nor ever likely to be if someone doesn’t find us soon. I think Jane’s already slipped away. I can’t wake her. I should let her go. I can’t save her. I’d be doing her a kindness. I’ll just close my eyes for a minute.
Perhaps I should have listened to dear old Dad after all . . .
Jane
It’s so cold. I’m so cold I can hardly think. I just want to sleep. Luke is doing his best to keep us both alive, but he’s as far gone as me. He thinks he’s talking to me but he’s just spewing words to keep me conscious. Every now and then he’ll stop and I wonder if he’s gone and then he jerks himself awake and starts again and all the time his voice is getting further and further away and I don’t know if he’s losing me or I’m losing him . . .
Matthew
Where are they?
What went wrong?
What can I do?
1
Marietta Hay, commander of the Time Police, settled herself at her desk, fired up her scratchpad and gazed at her adjutant.
‘Good morning, Charlie – what do you have for me today?’
‘Well, ma’am, as you must be aware – an important part of my duties is, as far as I can, to mitigate the bad news with little snippets of good news. To lighten your working day, so to speak.’
She sighed. ‘This does not bode well. All right, Charlie – hit me with a snippet.’
‘Alas, ma’am. There are no snippets.’
‘What? No good news at all?’
‘Regrettably, ma’am . . .’
‘Not even anything decent for lunch today?’
‘Not even that, ma’am.’