She bookmarked the page and then logged onto Facebook. There he was, looking older and fatter. Guess the last few years hadn’t been so good for him. She laughed and shut the lid of her laptop.
Twelve
Waiting on the platform, Amber sipped the hot coffee in her gloved hand, trying to stay warm. White vapor escaped from her mouth every time she opened it, and she marched in place to generate some heat. She was meeting Daphne, Tallulah, and Bella for a day of shopping and sightseeing in New York, the primary attraction being the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. She had purposely dressed like a tourist: sensible shoes, warm down jacket, and a tote bag to hold her treasures. Just what a gal from Nebraska would wear. The only makeup she had on was a cheap frosted lipstick she’d picked up at Walgreens.
“Amber, hi,” Daphne called as she came running toward her, a little girl attached to each hand. “Sorry we’re late. This one couldn’t decide what to wear.” She tilted her head toward Bella with a smile.
Amber smiled. “Hi, girls. Nice to see you again.”
Bella eyed her suspiciously. “That’s an ugly coat.”
“Bella!” Daphne and Tallulah exclaimed in unison. Daphne looked mortified. “That’s a terrible thing to say.”
“Well, it’s true.”
“I’m so sorry, Amber,” Daphne said.
“It’s okay.” Amber squatted down until she was eye level with Bella. “You’re right. It is an ugly coat. I’ve had it forever. Maybe you can help me pick a new one out today.” She wanted to smack the little brat. She was all of six or seven, and she was wearing a pair of silver sneakers that Amber recognized from a package that had been sitting open on the kitchen table when she’d dropped off gift certificates for the auction at the house the other day. She’d gone home and looked up the shoes to discover that they cost almost $300. The spoiled kid was already a fashion snob.
Bella turned to her mother and whined, “When is the train coming? I’m cold.”
Daphne wrapped her arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “Soon, darling.”
After another five minutes of Bella’s complaints, the train pulled in and they scrambled aboard, luckily finding a vacant spot in the front of the car—two rows facing each other. Amber sat down, and Bella stood in front of her, little arms crossed over her chest.
“You took my seat. I can’t sit backward.”
“No problem.” Amber moved to the other side and Tallulah took the seat next to Bella.
“I want Mommy to sit next to me.”
Were they really going to let this little monster bark orders all day?
Daphne gave her a stern look. “Bella, I’m right across from you. Stop this nonsense now. I’m going to sit next to Amber.”
Bella gave her a dark look and kicked her little foot against the seat across from her. “Why’d she have to come, anyway? This is supposed to be a family trip.”
Daphne stood up. “Excuse us for a moment.” She grabbed Bella by the hand and walked her to the end of the aisle. Amber could see her gesturing with her hands as she talked. After a few minutes, Bella nodded and the two returned.
Bella took her seat and looked up at Amber. “I’m sorry, Amber.”
She didn’t look one bit sorry, but Amber gave her what she hoped was a kind look.
“Thank you, Bella. I accept your apology.” She turned her attention to Tallulah. “Your mom tells me that you’re a Nancy Drew fan.”
Tallulah’s eyes lit up, and she unzipped the small backpack she carried and brought out The Secret of the Wooden Lady. “I have all my mom’s old books. I love them.”
“So do I. I wanted to be just like Nancy Drew,” Amber said.
Tallulah started to soften. “She’s so brave and smart and always on an adventure.”
“Boooooring,” the little furby next to her called out.
“How would you know? You can’t even read,” Tallulah responded.
“Mom! She’s not supposed to say that to me,” Bella said, her voice rising.
“All right, girls, that’s enough,” Daphne said mildly.
Now Amber felt like slapping Daphne. Couldn’t she see that kid needed to be put in her place? A good spank across the rump would probably do wonders.
They finally pulled into Grand Central and poured out of the train into the crowded station. Amber stayed behind Daphne as she and the girls walked up the steps and into the main terminal. Her spirits lifted as she looked around at the magnificent architecture and thought again how much she loved New York.
Daphne stopped and gathered them together. “Okay, here’s what’s on our agenda. We’re going to start by looking at all the holiday window displays, then lunch at Alice’s Teacup, then American Girl Store, and finally ice-skating at Rockefeller Center.”
Kill me now, Amber thought.
* * *
Amber had to admit that the window displays were fabulous, each one more elaborate than the next. Even the little princess was bewitched and stopped her whining. When they arrived at Alice’s Teacup, Amber groaned inwardly at the long line, but apparently Daphne was well known there, and they were whisked right in. Lunch was fine, no major incidents, and Amber and Daphne actually got to have a conversation longer than five minutes.
While the girls took their time eating their French toast, Amber finished her ham and cheese croissant and sipped her tea.
“Thanks again for including me, Daphne. It’s so nice to be a part of a family day this time of year.”
“Thank you. You’re making the day so much more fun for me. When Jackson bailed out, I almost canceled.” She leaned in and whispered, “As you’ve seen, Bella can be a little bit of a handful. It’s great to have some help.”
Amber felt her back go up. Was that what she was? Help?
“Wasn’t the nanny available today?” she couldn’t resist asking.
Daphne didn’t seem to notice the jab. She shook her head absently. “I’d already given her the day off since we had planned this.” She smiled brightly at Amber and squeezed her hand. “I’m so glad you came with us. This is the kind of thing I’d be doing with my sister if she were alive. Now I have a special friend to enjoy it with.”
“That’s funny. When we were looking at the beautiful animations in the store windows, I imagined how much Charlene would have loved it. Christmas was her favorite time of year.” In fact, Amber’s childhood Christmases had been mean and disappointing. But if Charlene had existed, she might have liked Christmas.
“Julie loved Christmas too. I’ve never told this to anyone, but very late on Christmas Eve each year, I write a letter to Julie.”
“What do you tell her?” Amber asked.
“All that’s happened in the last year, you know, like those Christmas letters that people send out. But these letters are different. I tell her what’s in my heart and all about her nieces—how much she would have loved them and they her. It keeps me connected to her in a way I can’t explain.”
Amber felt a brief stab of sympathy that quickly turned to envy. She had never felt that kind of love and affection for anyone in her family. She wondered what that would be like. She didn’t know quite what to say.