Cassie is considered the very best couples counselor in the East Coast. When they decided to go to counseling, Nick had wanted to find a local therapist; Alice had flat out refused—there was no way she was agreeing to see a shrink who was also an Almanac. The whole point of going to therapy was to get Nick to see that he’d been brainwashed by this town. They’d seen two counselors in the city before having their first video session with Cassie, who is based in Boston. Despite the distance, both Nick and Alice had felt a personal connection to her.
“And don’t pretend like this is about me,” Nick continues. “This is about you hating this town and hating my mother.”
Alice takes a deep breath. This has escalated quickly. She briefly considers denying his accusation but decides against it. It would be pointless. Alice has never kept her opinions about Alma—or Tish—to herself. Instead, she says, “This was supposed to be temporary. Us, living here.”
Three years ago, when Alice and Nick had been dating for six months, two things happened: Alice found out she was pregnant, and Nick ran out of money. They put their heads together and realized that the best solution would be to move back to Alma.
“It’ll be temporary,” Nick had assured her. “Just until the babies are born. My mom has been on my case to move back and start a family. My brother will get me a job at Alma Boots.”
“What about your shares in the company?” Alice hadn’t wanted to go back, not after the incident with Professor Keyes.
“They’re not exactly mine to sell,” Nick had explained. “They belong to a trust.”
The trust, Alice learned, is Tish’s way of controlling her children. Nick owns voting rights and stock that are tied up by a series of covenants designed to keep him from selling his shares unless either his dad or his brother agree. Bobby, as it turns out, is too much of a momma’s boy to go against Tish’s wishes and green-light a sale. And Charles never disagrees with his wife, let alone defies her.
Alice had asked Nick if they could at least live in New York City. Alma seemed so… small. And the city was close enough—his family would be able to visit them often. But Tish wouldn’t hear of it. If Nick wanted a job, they had to live in Alma. The only thing worse than having a meddling mother-in-law is having a mother-in-law who controls your finances.
Now, Nick is looking at her as though she is a spoiled child. “It’s been three years.”
“Exactly,” Alice says. “Three very long, very torturous years.”
“You could try to get along with my mother.”
“Really, Nick?” Alice crosses her arms. “Let’s not pretend that’s an option.”
“Look, we need to be patient. I’ve barely made my mark in the company. We knew it would take longer for me to be able to convince my parents—”
“You mean your mother.”
Alice has no idea why Nick insists that their compulsory residence in Alma is Tish and Charles’s imposition. Her father-in-law is the least attention-seeking man she’s ever met, at least when it comes to his son. Charles is a true bon vivant: skilled at playing golf, picking the right kind of whiskey, and somehow surviving marriage to Tish.
“Alice…”
“Your parents can’t expect you to live their lives. And what about me? Don’t I deserve a shot at rebuilding my career? You know I can’t do that here, in the East Coast. We tried. You saw what happened.”
Alice’s attempts at getting back in the job market had been repeatedly thwarted, first by the episode with Professor Keyes, then by her pregnancy, and, finally, by her status as a new mom. Nick insisted she was being overly ambitious, applying to roles that were much too high-profile. Alice didn’t see it that way: she was more than qualified for the positions she sought. Besides, why should she settle? It wasn’t her fault she’d had to leave Wharton two months shy of graduation. None of it was her fault.
“Do you want to move and be penniless?” Nick asks.
Of course she doesn’t. And she’s aware that their situation is complicated. They’re young, but they have a toddler and expensive tastes. Their lifestyle requires a good salary. A very good salary.
“Fine. Don’t invest in Ryan’s company. But can we travel? Spend Christmas in Switzerland?” Alice says. If she can’t move or get a job, then at least she deserves a vacation. “Surely, your mo—your parents won’t be upset if we take one trip. We’ve spent every summer at the Sag Harbor house and every Christmas with them ever since we got here.”
Alice wonders if she should show him the journal. Not the entries (those are too personal), just the notebook. As a prop. No—a symbol. Symbols can be powerful. Alice had found the journal this morning, inside her closet. The notebook was only four years old, but it looked aged. Almost historic. Inside it was the story of how she and Nick found each other, four years ago, at a beach in Mykonos. They’d bonded over their heartbreak: his over an ex-girlfriend named Pearl, hers over Professor Keyes’s offense. Alice cried as she read the dozens of entries about Professor Keyes. Tears of rage, not sadness. But after she met Nick, her entries became happier, lighter. Reliving those early days in their relationship had reminded her of the man he used to be. Adventurous, daring. A traveler who had spent Carnaval in Rio de Janeiro. Trekked the mountainous terrain of Pingxi for the Sky Lantern Festival. Rafted in Slovenia. Explored the ancient ruins of Petra and Machu Picchu. Back then, she thought that meeting Nick was kismet: she healed his broken heart, he soothed hers.
But Alma had changed him.
Something about this town had made Nick regress into a different sort of man. When she met him, he had been so vocal about the town’s shortcomings: how it was riddled with folklore, and how it was so small that everyone probably knew the answer to everyone else’s security questions. Now it’s like he’s morphed into one of the easily led automatons he used to criticize.
Maybe Nick would’ve been happier if he’d married Pearl, and not Alice.
“Please?” Alice says. Her tone is gentler now, sweeter. She resists the urge to lean in and kiss him. It would be the easiest way to avoid a fight. Just being around Nick is enough to turn her on: his body heat, the oaky scent of his aftershave. Their chemistry is, and has always been, off the charts. But it’s not the answer. Sex is a relief, not a solution.
Sometimes she wonders if there is a solution. Maybe there isn’t.
(Cassie wouldn’t approve of this mindset. A positive approach is essential to a happy marriage. It’s in her books.)
Alice considers telling Nick about the pills. Maybe if he knew that she’s taking two Valium to fall asleep and two, sometimes three, oxycodone during the day, he’d agree to a vacation, if only out of compassion. But what if he forces her to quit cold turkey? Or worse: checks her into rehab? The pills are a lifeline. They make life in this town bearable. Pills and sex—the two things keeping her somewhat sane.
Nick shakes his head. “Look, I didn’t want to say anything, but now is not a good time to be making plans.”
“And why not?” Irritation creeps into her voice, partly because she’s horny, but also because she knew Nick would try to bullshit his way out of this. He’ll probably bring up Souliers. It’s his excuse for everything lately. As if there is an actual chance in hell that Bobby will agree to sell.