‘Hi Sarah,’ I say, smiling brightly as I pretend to be calm and not completely shocked by Sarah’s revelation that there are blank shelves in supermarkets where my product line should be. ‘I’m sorry you haven’t been able to get Darcy’s Dishes for a while. But I’ll personally see to it that they are back in stock very soon.’
I mean it. I’m already itching to call the office to see what on earth is going on. I wonder if Luke knew about this.
‘Great. Thank you,’ Sarah says.
‘Thanks so much for your call. Bye-bye,’ Lindsay says, before adding, ‘and who do we have on the next line?’
‘Hello, Darcy.’ A low hum rattles down the line.
‘Hello,’ I reply, squinting as I stare into the camera. As if I might find the owner of the strange voice hiding inside.
‘Hello there. You’re live on Good Morning, Ireland. What’s your name, caller?’ Lindsay asks, facing the camera.
There’s silence.
Lindsay tilts her head to one side, waiting, and the cameraman rolls his eyes.
‘Don’t be shy,’ Lindsay says.
Still nothing. I wonder if the line has dropped. I find myself hoping it has.
‘Hello. Are you still with us?’ Lindsay probes, gently.
‘Yeah,’ says a voice.
Lindsay smiles. It’s the same way she smiled at me when I joined her on set still wearing my suit and not a polka-dot dress.
More silence. This is torture. It may be silent on set but inside my head it’s blaring.
‘I’m afraid I really am going to have to push you for your question,’ Lindsay says, firmly.
Finally, sound ripples around the studio. It’s coughing at first followed by a raspy voice. ‘I have a question.’
‘Yes,’ Lindsay nods. ‘Go ahead.’
‘My question is . . .’ There’s a deep inhale on the end of the line, and my heart is racing. ‘Does Darcy remember me?’
It’s my turn to inhale sharply as the fine hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I’m petrified that the answer, a resounding yes, is etched in the corners of my fake smile. My eyes flick to the side of the set, wishing I could find Luke standing there. And when I look back, Lindsay is watching me with a measured expression that seems to ask, Well, do you know her?
‘I’m afraid we didn’t catch your name,’ Lindsay says.
‘Darcy knows it,’ the voice says. ‘Don’t you, Darcy?’
Tina. Her name is Tina.
The floor manager holds up his hand with his fingers spaced wide apart. I’m not sure if he’s trying to sign five seconds or five minutes. God, I hope it’s the former.
‘Do you have a question?’ Lindsay asks.
‘I need a job,’ Tina says.
‘Oh.’ Lindsay smirks, choking back a snort. ‘Well this is certainly a unique approach. While I love a good interview, I don’t think I’m qualified to do any hiring, I’m afraid.’
Lindsey laughs and she looks at me to follow. I do, but it’s hard to find anything funny about Tina’s call.
‘I’m sure if you look up Darcy’s Dishes’ website you’ll find all the job application info you need there. Am I right, Darcy?’ Lindsay says.
I nod.
‘I applied but I was told there was a hiring freeze,’ Tina says. ‘Cost-cutting, they told me.’
Lindsay looks at me sympathetically. She didn’t know, I realise. She truly had no idea that Darcy’s Dishes is struggling so badly at the moment. I suspect she wouldn’t have pestered me so hard to come on the show had she known.
‘I’m sorry,’ I say.
‘Bullshit.’
Lindsay gasps and the cameraman’s eyes widen.
‘This is a family show,’ she says sternly with her eyes suddenly narrow. ‘I am going to have to ask you to refrain from using such language.’
Tina’s voice cracks and her desperation is palpable. ‘I went to your husband. I begged him for work. He told me he couldn’t afford to take me on.’
My stomach somersaults.
Tina sighs. ‘He didn’t tell you, did he?’
‘I . . . I . . .’
‘Don’t bothering answering,’ Tina says. ‘It’s written all over your face.’
I suddenly feel so exposed, sitting here all alone in the centre of this too-big couch as a ghost from my past reappears to haunt me.
‘As I said at the start of this interview, I have been very ill and the company has had to adapt,’ I say, a tremor creeping into my words. ‘We’re currently in uncharted waters and we won’t be hiring any new staff until I am back to work full-time.’
‘Okay,’ Tina says, dramatically calm all of a sudden. ‘Then I’d like to invest.’
Lindsay’s eyes are wide with disbelief. This is car-crash TV and the whole studio knows it. Lindsay is pressing her finger subtly to her ear as she listens, clearly getting instructions on how to handle this mess. But no one is whispering in my ear. I have no help and no idea how to handle Tina. I never had.
‘I have money,’ Tina says. ‘It will be just like old times. We can be friends again.’
‘Thank you.’ I nod. ‘It’s a lovely offer. But we have a potential investor coming on board and . . .’
‘Who?’ Tina gasps.
Lindsay cuts in. ‘Well, thank you for your call but I’m afraid that’s all we have time for today.’
‘Who the hell is it—?’
The line goes dead as Tina is mid-screech and Lindsay’s cheery voice fills the void. ‘Thank you for watching, folks. From me and everyone in the studio all that is left to say is, good morning, Ireland. Have a great day!’
Chapter Four
DARCY
Monday 10 June 2019
Upbeat theme-tune music fills the air. Lindsay stands up and untangles herself from her mike pack and drops it into her chair as I get to my feet.
‘Who on earth was that?’ she asks.
Before I have time to answer, Luke races towards us with Jinx tucked under his arm.
‘What the hell is going on?’ Luke shouts, taking large strides as he races over. ‘Don’t you screen your goddamn calls?’
Lindsay’s smile widens. Calm and poised, she says, ‘I think we can say with some confidence that caught us all off guard this morning. But you handled yourself brilliantly, Darcy.’
My knees are shaking.
‘Are you okay?’ Lindsay asks. ‘Can I get you some water?’
I don’t have time to reply before Luke says, ‘Of course she’s not all right. How could she be?’
I run my hands through my hair. My fingers catch in the hairspray holding my perfectly styled curly blow-dry. ‘How live is this?’ I ask. ‘I mean, is there a delay?’
‘Three seconds,’ Lindsay says. ‘To be honest, it’s rarely even long enough to bleep out a swear word. But don’t worry. There’s no such thing as bad publicity. This morning’s show is guaranteed to get the country talking.’
‘You should have cut that crazy bitch off air the minute she said hello,’ Luke says. He’s animated and angry and he startles me and Jinx. Jinx barks and I grab my belly instinctively, protecting the baby as if she is somehow aware of what’s happening. And I pause, realising that these maternal moments are somehow sneaking unintentionally into my psyche more and more often.