“Before today?” he jokes. “No.”
“Emotionally unbalanced?”
“A few moments when you were thirteen to fifteen, but since then? No.”
“Okay, then please believe that when I say what I’m about to say, I am being totally serious.”
He takes a deep breath, bracing himself. “Okay. Hit me.”
“I think it’s possible I’m in the past, repeating the same holiday, and I’m the only one who knows it.”
It sounds even crazier once I say it aloud. His bushy brows push together, and he shoves his too-long hair out of his eyes. “You mean the nightmare your dad mentioned?”
“No, I mean for real.” I look around the room, wishing there was something here that could help me. Lisa’s old Ouija board? Too creepy. Theo’s old Magic 8 Ball? Too desperate. “Things that happened six days ago are happening over again.”
He reaches into his pocket, pulls out a mint, and pops it in his mouth. “Start from the beginning.”
I run a hand down my face. “Okay. So, earlier today for me was December twenty-sixth. Dad, Mom, Miles, and I were in a car headed to the airport—from here. This truck ran a red light—” I pause, piecing the fragments together. “A truck carrying Christmas trees, I think. Everyone was distracted, and it hit us. I woke up on the plane.” I look up, making sure he’s following. “A plane back here, today. December twentieth.”
He lets out a quiet “Whoa.” And then, “I don’t get it.”
I lean closer, trying to sort my words into order. “Maybe I’m not actually talking to you right now. Maybe I’m in a coma in the hospital, or maybe I really am dreaming this. All I know is that I already lived through this Christmas, managed to mess it all up, got creamed by a Christmas tree truck, and now I’m back, and it’s the beginning of the holiday all over again.”
“You sure about this?”
“Not even a little bit.”
He nods slowly. “Cool. Okay. Keep going.”
“Before we left, Ricky and Lisa told us that they were going to sell the cabin.”
Benny’s hazel eyes go wide. “They what?”
“Right?” I nod emphatically. “So obviously we were all really upset when we left. Plus my panic about making out with Theo, and getting busted by Andrew—”
Benny cuts me off. “Uh, back up.”
“You knew about it, don’t worry.” I try to casually wave this detail to the side. “What I—”
He holds up a hand. “I can assure you I did not know that you made out with Theo because this conversation would have started there.”
“Well, I told you this morning, but like everything else— everyone else—you’ve forgotten.” I take a deep, calming breath. “For the record, you were much more helpful last time.”
He considers this. “Was I also high?”
“Actually, yes.”
He holds his hands palms-up as if to say There you go. “Start there, then tell me everything.”
I groan in renewed mortification. “Last night there was eggnog.”
He lets out a little “Ah” of understanding. Benny loves his weed, but, like me, he is easily knocked over by a cup of Ricky’s eggnog. That stuff should come with an octane rating.
“It was brief and awkward,” I tell him. “You told me to go talk to him the next morning, but he totally ignored me. Then I found out that Andrew saw us kissing. Then we found out that the Hollises are selling the cabin, and we left. Boom—car accident. Boom—back on plane. Boom— here we are.”
Benny whistles. “I’m going to have some words with Theo.”
“Seriously, Benny? That’s what you’re taking away from this? The primary redeeming thing about starting this holiday all over again is not having to process any of this with Theo!”
Benny seems to think on this. “I feel like I’m following you down this road pretty easily, friend. Are you sure you’re not having some sort of altitude-poisoning thing?”
I snap my fingers with a memory. “Dad’s tooth? I knew that was going to happen.”
“If you knew, why didn’t you warn him?”
“I was freaking out!” I yell, and then wince, hoping no one downstairs heard me. Lowering my voice, I continue, “And what would he have said? ‘No way, this cookie bar looks delicious’? I’d already seen Theo’s haircut, which is why I acted like a robot. And remember how I knew Kennedy’s knee was bleeding?” I point to the door, like Benny can see the kitchen from here.
“You didn’t, by chance, get into my little blue bag, did you?” he asks.
“No, of course not!”
“Okay, good. Because I had this friend who grows mushrooms in his closet, and he gave me—”
“Benny, I’m not high, I’m not drunk, I’m not on mushrooms! I’m being serious. This is freaking me out!”
“I know it is, Mae. Okay, I’m thinking.”
Downstairs, I hear the faint sounds of everyone making their way to the living room for welcome cocktails. I screw my eyes shut, trying to pull forward all the tiny details that I never expected to be important, but which are the difference now between Benny believing me or not. Kyle’s round, theatrical voice carries upstairs, followed by Ricky’s deep, booming laugh.
“Oh. Oh.” I snap, pointing at the door. “Kyle just showed Ricky his new tattoo.”
Benny stretches, listening. “Did you hear that all the way up here? Wow.”
“No,” I say. “I remembered it.”
I can tell he doesn’t totally buy that.
Zachary’s elated laughter reaches us, and I can’t help it—despite all the chaos in my head, I’m smiling. “Okay. Miso is licking Zacky’s toes. Listen to him laughing.”
“A pretty safe guess,” Benny hedges. “That dog loves the twins.”
I sigh. “Come on. Believe me.”
“I want to, but you know how this sounds.”
The problem is, I do.
“Let’s say you’re right,” he whispers, “and what you’re telling me is really happening. It’s sort of like Back to the Future, except the past. Wait.” He shakes his head. “He went to the past in that one, didn’t he?”
I nod, and then keep nodding because exhaustion drags through me so heavily that I could honestly pass out right now.
“Does that make me Doc?” he asks.
I laugh. “Sure.” But my amusement quickly fades. “But what do I do? Is this happening so I don’t kiss Theo again? This seems like a pretty lame flex, Universe.”
“But without kissing Theo you wouldn’t be here,” he reasons.
“No. Kissing Theo is where I messed things up . . . right?”
“No. It’s like in Avengers, where they want to go back and kill the guy with the stones, but if they had killed him then they wouldn’t be having the conversation to begin with.” He pauses. “Holy shit, time travel is confusing.”
I rub my temples. “Benny.”
He gazes at me, and I stick the tip of my thumb in my mouth, chewing. “I think you should go talk to Dan,” he finally says.