I should know. I’ve done my fair share of atrocities.
“I don’t know, Lamira,” I reply, choosing to be honest with her. “I have a few ideas, but…”
“Tell me.”
“It’s too early for that,” I reply. Truth be told, I just don’t want to frighten her. I have some hypotheses, sure, but most of them are nightmare fuel. Would it do her any good to know they were probably being trafficked and en route to an auction block on some fringe planet? Or that they were probably part of some fucked up IHC black-ops operation? No, it’s better to keep these thoughts to myself, at least until the fog starts to lift and we get some real answers. “We’ll know more in time, Lamira. We just have to be patient.”
“What about Solace? Do you have any idea where that might be?”
“None,” I reply. “I’ve been racking my brain for an answer, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of such a place. I know Solair is looking into it, and sooner or later, I think we’ll have some answers. In the meantime, all we can do is wait.”
“That’s the hardest part.”
“You just have to find something to keep yourself busy.” I give her fingers a soft squeeze, and an electric wave rushes through my body as I feel her skin brushing against mine. A pleasant warmth spreads over me again, and I have to make a very conscious effort not to lose myself in her eyes. It’s useless. My brain has already started to short-circuit for the second time today, and there’s little I can do to stop it. “Something, or someone.”
“Someone?” she repeats, her question punctuated with a small chuckle. Fuck, I can’t believe I just said that. “And do you have someone in mind?” she continues, the innuendo in her voice telling me she’s setting a trap for me.
“Well, I, uh…” Looking away from her, I straighten my back and place both hands on my knees. “Maybe Varia? Or that techie, Fiona. Maybe you could start going with them to the training area. It helps to pass the time, you know? A good workout does wonders.”
“I’m not very good at working out,” she says. “I’d need a lot of guidance.”
“Maybe I can help with that,” I find myself saying, the words leaving my mouth before my brain can filter them. I spend a lot of time in the gym, ensuring my body is battle-ready, and I could give her some pointers. Of course, only now do I realize the double meaning behind my words. Fuck, why am I so terrible at this?
“I think I’d like that,” she says, and my eyes are immediately drawn to the way her lips move. I can’t stop myself from imagining the flavor hidden behind their velvety texture. How would it feel to kiss her? How would it feel to have her tiny body pressed against mine? To hold her tightly and never let go?
“Grantian, we need you up here.” My comm unit suddenly comes alive, Solair’s commanding voice breaking whatever spell I was under. Looking away from Lamira, I open the comms channel and hold the unit before my mouth.
“On my way,” I reply, pushing myself up to my feet.
Saved by the bell.
Chapter Five
Lamira
Was I flirting with him?
By the Mother’s holy face, I must be losing my goddamn mind. One minute I’m bawling like a kid who doesn’t want to be dropped off at school, and the next my hormones are kicking in as if I were still a teenager. Maybe it’s all the gold in Grantian’s skin. It must be messing with my brain.
It’s funny, though. Grantian always has this stoic demeanor around everyone else, but there’s no stoicism to be seen whenever he’s around me. In its place, there’s kindness. Sure, he’s a bit awkward at times, treating me as if I were one of his mercenary buddies, but there’s no mistaking it. He treats me far nicer than he does others.
To be honest, though, there’s more than just kindness in his eyes.
Now, I might be imagining things, but whenever our gazes find each other… it’s hard to explain, but it’s as if the air around us suddenly becomes electrified. My heart beats faster, I get tunnel vision, and I have to fight against my instincts not to stare at his chiseled body. It’s his fault, anyway. Why does he have to be so damn perfect? He’s always strutting around with his soldier’s posture, chin held high and a stern expression that tells the world he has a PhD in kicking ass and taking names. It’s biologically impossible for a woman to be immune to that sort of thing.
I just wish he was more open. He has his suspicions about what happened to the women aboard the Frontier, but he’s clearly hesitant about sharing his thoughts on the matter with me. Not that I can blame him for that. He’s acting out of kindness, eager to protect me from whatever horrors lurk in the galaxy, and I can’t help but appreciate him for it. It’s good to know someone cares for me.
Despite that, I still can’t help but wonder about Solace, whatever it might be. That name keeps echoing inside my head, over and over again, and I’m pretty sure I’ve heard of it before. Yet, the more I try to grasp its meaning, the more elusive it becomes. It’s just like the lyrics for a song you know by heart. Your brain knows the words, but you can’t fish them out of your mind whenever you’re asked about them.
It’s an infuriating feeling.
“This is crazy,” I find myself saying as I throw myself back on top of my bed. The folded blankets and clothes remain at the foot of it, a reminder of what I have to do, but I can’t find the strength to make my way to the medbay right now. Instead, I reach for the towel I have hanging on the side of my bunk, jump off the bed, and head to the bathroom.
I need a shower to cool off.
I head to the showers on the ship and, finding no line, quickly get in one of the few showers that utilize water.
Most of the showers on the ship are sonic showers, but five use water, and then proceed to purify that liquid for future showers. It’s a luxury and there’s always a line. But I seemed to have gotten lucky this time.
I turn the water on and take my clothes off. I step under the spray, its warmth relaxing my entire body as I throw my head back and close my eyes. I let all the anxiety wash off of me and concentrate on my breathing. I’ve never been too big on mindfulness or whatever people call it these days, but lately I’ve found it helps my anxiety—especially now that I’ve somehow become a wanted criminal on the run.
Luckily for me, the thoughts bubbling up to my mind’s surface have nothing to do with that. All I can think about is Grantian. It doesn’t make any sense for me to be obsessed with a man I’ve barely met, but I can’t help it. The first time I laid eyes on him it felt as if something had ignited, and now there’s an electric flame of desire burning inside me that I simply can’t snuff out.
But even if I could, I doubt I’d want to.
Running my hands through my wet hair, I think of the way Grantian ripped a piece of his shirt off just so I could use the fabric as a tissue. I caught a glimpse of his perfectly carved abs as he did it, and they were a maddening sight. Just a hint of his naked skin is enough for me to go ballistic, apparently. Can anyone blame me, though? He’s kind, handsome, and seems willing to fight the entire galaxy just to keep me safe. What’s not to like?