“I’m sure he’s going to be fine. From what Anna tells me, he’s following his diet like a champ these days.”
“If Anna says so.” Lars takes a sip of wine. I reach out to him and squeeze his arm. It hasn’t been easy for him to have Anna take his place in the band and be the person Dan needs the most now, when he was that person for so long. He smiles at me and continues preparing our meal.
“Are you working on the next album?”
“Dan is working on lyrics. He hasn’t told me what sound he wants, and I haven’t read any of the shit he wrote, so I’m on standby. We’ll have some time, while overseas.”
“Can’t wait to hear it.” I smile into my glass, remembering the considerable success they encountered with the last one—Letters to Anna, all written by Dan for the woman he loves. If I believed in romance, I would swoon. “Maybe you can call this one Ode to BJ,” I tease him.
“Nah,” he says, “It’s Art’s turn to name the album, he will probably call it—”
“Poems to Young Pussies,” we both say and laugh. Our fit of laughter is interrupted by the ring of my phone. Looking at it, I press ignore.
“Let me guess, Oliver?”
“No, my dad. I’ll call him later,” I lie. I won’t. I never do.
“You see, if you were coming with us on tour, you could visit him in Tokyo,” he says, bringing the stove to simmering.
“Hmm, you know it’s not possible with work,” I answer simply as to not enter into more details.
“Yeah, because your boss isn’t the fiancée of the lead singer of my band.” He rolls his eyes. “You haven’t seen your dad since I’ve known you, Na. If it’s because of money, I can help.” For someone who doesn’t have parents anymore, Lars always makes sure everyone sees their family. Reminding Dan to call his mother, pushing Art to drive to Boston to see his folks, encouraging Anna to reach out to her parents, he loves the parent talk.
“I know, and I can’t accept. And I’ll go as soon as I have the time,” I lie once more.
“Okay, I won’t push it. Now, are you going to sit there and let me do all the work, or could I ask you to at least set the table and make a salad?”
“I’m not sure how to make the salad,” I joke.
“Okay, then sit down and look ugly, Vampire Panda. I’ll slave away for you. Isn’t that all I am anyway?” he says dramatically.
“You could have been a great actor, Lars Trouble. Such a pity you’re a musical genius.”
“Thank you.” He bows. “Now move your ass and set the table; it’s almost ready.”
“Yes, Chef!” I jump to my feet.
“And, Na, I’m going to miss you when I’m on tour.”
“I know, my friend. And you’re leaving me alone to fend for myself for food and with Anna’s mood for three weeks. It’s pure torture.” Our gazes cross, and I can see the worry in his eyes. Lars likes to worry about the people he cares about and takes care of everything and everyone. “I was joking, Lars. Stop worrying. I can handle Anna, and I was eating just fine before meeting you. I’ll order in food and buy cereal. Now, chop chop, servant, I am starving!”
2
Lars
Flash Forward
At Dan & Anna’s wedding
6 months later
“Naomi,” I greet my once upon a time best friend with a nod of my head before offering her my arm to walk down the aisle. I haven’t seen her for almost three months, and I didn’t think being so close to her today would hit me so hard. Nevertheless, I disregard all these feelings surging inside of me and stand still and proud like she did when she delivered her bombshell months ago.
“Nice of you to finally show up for the main event,” she snarls, certainly pissed I have been ignoring her calls.
“I wouldn’t have missed the wedding of one of my best friends for anything in the world.”
I see the guilt she carries being pushed down her throat. She understood my message loud and clear. It’s unfortunate today I have to be here, but after missing the joint bachelor and bachelorette party, as well as all other duties a best man has, I couldn’t not show up at Dan Darling’s wedding.
I’m pretty sure I would have never forgiven myself for having missed it.
Naomi buckles her hand on my arm, and my skin prickles where she touches me, even through the suit Dan’s mother forced us to wear.
“When you have time,” she says with no emotion in her voice, “I would love to talk to you.” I scoff. It’s not the time or the place to square things up between us.
“Sorry, my schedule is pretty full for the next twenty years. Have you tried going through Chad?” I know she did, but Chad had the job to block her. She’s had many possible ways to corner me. She’s the assistant and the friend of Dan’s very-soon-to-be wife and considered a friend of my bandmates, but because she didn’t want to tell her secret to Anna, she couldn’t explain why we were on non-speaking terms. So, she pretended we were fine, just a little fight amongst friends. Dan and Art know me better than that. You don’t create music with two guys for over twenty-five years without them realizing something is broken inside you.
All I had to tell them was that she had secrets.
If I can keep them, I don’t do them.
They break up lives.
They broke up mine until Dan’s mom took me in and took care of me.
“Lars.” She sighs. Oliver, Anna’s brother, turns to check on her, but Art, who’s standing between us, shifts him back for him to start walking next to the girl every groomsmen has fucked. Anna couldn’t exclude her from the wedding, and Oliver was the only one willing to walk with her.
“Trouble, if you ruin my darling’s wedding, I will cut off your balls,” Dan’s mom warns me between her teeth.
“Don’t worry, Sheila. I would never do anything to ruin his day.” I wink at her and step back quickly to kiss her cheek.
“You’re so sweet, Lars.” She pinches my cheek.
“No, I’m Sweet.” Art whines, showing her his angel smile she loves so much.
“Walk, asshole.” Dan rolls his eyes, always on the fence with us charming his mom. Art walks with Debbie, one of Anna’s always pregnant friends.
And then it’s Naomi’s and my turn. With every step we take, I have the feeling of walking towards my death.
My throat clogs. I sweat a little more. I clear it to chase it all away but fail.
“Are you okay?” Naomi murmurs beside me. I nod and continue walking, focusing on the few steps left before we take our position. She squeezes my forearm before walking left and standing next to Debbie. Her eyes bore into mine, and I blink to ward it all off.
I’m not sure what “all” is, but I know I need to get my shit together.
I look at the point of my shoe and then turn to see Dan and Sheila coming. I thought Dan’s wedding would be more eccentric, but it wasn’t counting on Mama Darling having waited forty-two years for this. She didn’t care if it was Anna’s second wedding and if the bride didn’t want anything special. She wanted something special for them, and as usual, eaten by guilt toward his mother after making her life hell for years, Dan caved, and Anna didn’t care enough to fight it.