Samael was sinful. His eyes were the deepest shade of brown—closer to black. Sometimes when I looked at them, I felt as if I were staring into an endless stretch of midnight. His hair was just the same. He kept the obsidian locks long on top with a mid-fade. And since he was stuck in his house the majority of the time, he’d made good use of the exercise room.
So, going off looks alone, I completely understood where they were coming from. Thank Satanas my other best friend was his cousin. We knew he was more than something nice to look at.
Since he was still staring me down, I focused on the Baphomet tapestry hanging on the back wall.
“Were you crying?”
“No...”
Crap. How could he tell? I’d delayed coming here for this very reason. Normally I wouldn’t care if he knew or not. At my best or at my very worst, Samael stood by me without judgement. I couldn’t tell him about this, though. It was too embarrassing. Plus, if I told him then I’d have to tell Bella, and there was no way she’d let it go.
“Lilith,” he pressed.
“I didn’t cry. You know it’s hot outside.”
“That doesn’t even make sense.” He stood up and began walking towards me.
“What are you doing?” I eyed him suspiciously.
“Seeing if you’ll lie to my face.”
He stopped directly in front of me. With the fridge at my back, I couldn’t retreat unless I shoved him away. Much shorter than he was, I tilted my head back and looked at him.
Did he really have to be this close? I could see every one of his irritatingly long lashes. And I noticed how nice his lips were. I blinked in surprise when he took hold of my face. His deft fingers wrapped around my jaw, forcing me to stay focused on nothing but him.
“You showed up late because you were crying. Who did it?”
“Are you…are you trying to use your charm to interrogate me?”
“My charm?” He laughed and immediately stepped away.
I loved his laugh, but I’d never tell him that. I clutched the mason jar tightly, feeling heat explode in my face. “Stop laughing, you know what I meant.”
“So, you have been paying attention to me.”
“Why does that sound like a fact?”
“Am I wrong?” His antagonizing tone was accompanied by a matching grin.
Another rush of heat bloomed in my cheeks. “D-Don’t even go there. You’re my best friend—like a brother.”
His smile vanished before I finished speaking. He didn’t wear any specific expression I could name, but there was something in his eyes I couldn’t explain. It threw me totally off kilter.
“It’s really not a big deal. You’ll think it’s stupid,” I said with a forced smile.
“You’re psychic now?” he prodded dryly.
With a sigh, I recapped the mason jar and made a show of going to sit it down on an end table. Samael followed, his aura blazing behind me. I turned to look at him, fiddling with an end of my hair. He wasn’t going to let this go.
“Francis—”
“The same little bitch who’s always bothering you?”
“Huh?” My brow furrowed. “Francis is a boy.”
“I know.”
“Oh, yeah. Him…” I trailed off with a nervous laugh. I didn’t know why I was having such a hard time spitting this out—maybe because of how humiliating it was. But I told Samael everything.
“Lilith,” he pressed.
“He stole my first kiss,” I muttered.
I’m sure my face was well on its way to turning a shade of hideous tomato red. I bravely risked a glance at Samael, trying to gauge what he was thinking from his facial expression. It was impossible, as per usual.
“You didn’t want to kiss him?”
“No!” I didn’t mean to shout, but how could he ask that? I was seriously offended. “That’s gross. I’m not remotely attracted to him, and his personality is complete garbage.”
“Why the fuck were you embarrassed to tell me then?”
“Because I couldn’t stop him. You know my dad makes me train like a slave. That’s why I don’t need you or Bella to tell me I’m not weak. I can’t even stop some idiot boy from kissing me.”
I didn’t mention the first kiss part again, but that was really bothering me too. Childish as it may have been, I hadn’t wanted it to be with that dipshit. Samael had gone well beyond kisses at this stage in our lives, though. That’s why it was even more embarrassing to be explaining this to him.
“You said I’m like a brother, right?” He stepped forward and took my face in his hands. I was hit with a fresh sense of déjà vu.
“Um…”
Too close. He was too close!
Before I knew what was happening, his mouth was on mine. My mind blanked, rendering me unable to react right away. He teased my lips until they parted, tongue slipping in between.
He came closer, and the feel of his body had heat rising in mine. My entire chest tingled. I think my heart was about to break apart its cage. Was this really happening right now? With Samael of all people? I thought I’d hidden it well, the fact that I liked him more than a friend should.
“Lilith.” He pulled away and spoke my name softly, his hands still holding my face. “Would an older brother kiss his sister like this?”
“I would hope not,” I mumbled and swallowed. “Why did you do that?”
“Why do you think?”
The slamming of the front door caused me to jump slightly. Samael still took his time releasing me.
Leaning close again, he spoke quietly. “He stole your first kiss. I’m stealing your last.”
I was confused.
And it must have shown. My face felt like it was going to explode. Since when had he liked me?
“Lilith, no one will ever touch you again. Not if they dream of living another day.”
He stepped away and returned to his original place on the sectional just as Bella rounded the corner.
CHAPTER TWO
Four years prior
Pariah.
A social tag I never did a damn thing to earn. I was ten years old the first time I heard the whispers about me being a disgrace. I was a filthy stain on the Savages’ legacy. My father got rid of the ones who dared speak ill of his only son, but the damage had already been done.
I never let on that their words had any sway on mental state. I pretended it was no big deal. The truth was that I fucking hated how weak I was. I’d already known something was wrong with me. From the time I was born until my parents got a proper diagnosis, I fought to survive. I was the boy in a bubble.
As I got older, I made a vow to myself that I would become someone no one could ever look down on. I requested that me being cured remained a secret from everyone but those who absolutely needed to know otherwise. My next step was denouncing and distancing myself from the pathetic little boy I had once been.
I chose to grow in solitude. I isolated myself. Every move was made in the shadows. I retained all the knowledge of the Savages as was expected of me—I overachieved.
When it came time to test if I had the drive to kill, it was discovered I had a thirst for blood and a penchant for torture. Standing over someone while holding the fragile thread of their life in your hands was an invigorating feeling.