I know the logical little voice in my head is right, and I know I shouldn’t indulge in these kinds of fantasies. But still, as I step into the shower, I can’t quite seem to make Druxik leave my head entirely.
Truthfully, I’m not sure I want him to.
The first few days of the voyage to Nierra are fairly uneventful. It’ll take us about two weeks at a steady pace to reach our destination, and there’s not much for me to do on the ship since I’m not a regular member of the crew. My part in this mission will begin once we’re actually on the planet.
So for the most part, my days are spent getting used to the rhythms on the ship and trying to stay out from underfoot.
The lights in the cabins are programmed to brighten slowly in the morning to replicate the sunrise, and I develop a sort of routine over the first few days. I wake up as soon as it starts to get bright, do some light yoga and stretching, and wash my face before joining everyone else for breakfast.
The food on the ship is surprisingly edible, although it’s geared more toward ensuring we all get enough nutrients and less toward taste. After breakfast, I mostly keep myself occupied by reading on the data pad I brought with me.
The translator chip in my brain works for text as well as spoken words, and I’ve been researching everything I can about Kalix, and about other places in the universe too. I’ve always loved learning, and although being abducted was horrible, the upside is that I’ve found out that entire new worlds exist to learn about. Since then, I’ve devoured everything I can find.
After lunch, I usually take a walk around the midsized ship, sticking to parts of it where I won’t be a nuisance or in the way. I love visiting the observation deck and looking out into the depths of space.
Sometimes I just sit there and read, glancing out the window every once in a while to take in the expanse of stars in the distance. It makes me feel very small in the best sort of way, like a tiny part of a universe that’s now so much bigger than I ever knew. There’s a feeling of peace to it that I love.
But as the days pass, I find myself gravitating toward the captain’s deck on my walks, although I’m a little embarrassed to admit it. Druxik isn’t needed there all the time, since the ship can pretty much fly itself with the AI enabled and an easy course set, but he checks in regularly.
I can tell he enjoys having his hands on the controls, being in charge of the ship and flying it himself, and I enjoy watching him.
The way he interacts with the ship is mesmerizing. His movements are fluid and practiced, as natural to him as breathing. Every time I walk past, I can’t help but crane my neck, peering into the cockpit and hoping to catch a glimpse of him—of his broad shoulders and muscular arms, the way they ripple as he leans forward to adjust a lever or look at something.
I know I’m letting my crush on him grow a little too much for my own good. But it feels good to have that flicker of desire after so long without experiencing it. I can’t remember the last time I had a relationship, or even a casual date. And although I know those things aren’t in the cards for me, it’s nice to pretend. To think about a handsome man and feel that flutter deep in my belly.
It’s innocent, I tell myself. Just like seeing a sexy actor in a movie and thinking about what it would be like, in some impossible alternate universe, to go on a date with him or go to bed with him. It’s never going to happen, but it’s fun to dream about.
On the fifth day of our journey, I’m making my usual circuit around the ship. As I pass the captain’s deck, I tell myself I’m not going to look—that it doesn’t matter if Druxik is there or not.
But I can’t seem to help myself.
As I pass the doorway, I peer in, keeping up my pace as I crane my neck a little. I don’t see him. The captain’s deck looks empty, and I try to ignore the way my stomach sinks with a feeling of disappointment as if I was somehow counting on getting that little glimpse.
And then, just as I start to tear my gaze away, I run directly into a hard, solid body in front of me.
“Oh!” I let out a little yelp, stumbling a bit. My face flames with embarrassment as I look up to see who I’ve run into.
It’s Druxik.
Oh god.
My cheeks heat even more. No wonder I didn’t see him on the captain’s deck—it’s because he was walking right toward me, and I wasn’t watching where I was going.
“Are you all right?” His gaze is fixed squarely on my face as he reaches out to steady me, his strong hands clasping my upper arms.
“Yes. Sorry. I was just… distracted.”
I swallow, unable to look away. His eyes are beautiful, mesmerizing even, deep and dark with tiny flecks of gold. His body is still pressed against mine, hard and muscular and solid—and that, combined with the fact that he still hasn’t let go of my arms, makes my heart race. I can’t remember the last time I was this close to a man. And the fact is, I’ve never been pressed up against a man like this one.
It’s something straight out of a fantasy, and my heart is pounding in my chest, my breath catching in my throat as I look up at him without a single idea of what to say.
We’re both frozen for a moment, looking at each other. I want to say something else, to laugh off my clumsiness or thank him for catching me—but all of those words escape me. I can’t seem to remember how to speak.
Any second now, he’s going to let go of me, step away, and then I’ll remember how to form words. Then I can thank him, and we can both go about our day and try to forget this.
Except I already know that I don’t want to forget it.
And I was wrong. He doesn’t let go of me, despite the fact that I’m no longer in danger of falling.
Instead, to my shock, he pulls me a little closer, one arm wrapping around me to keep me pressed against him, while he reaches up with the other hand and slowly, gently traces his knuckles down the side of my cheek.
All the while, his eyes stay fixed on mine, looking at me as if he’s never seen me before. As if he’s never in his entire life seen anything like me at all. As if I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
No one has ever looked at me like that. It’s astonishing.
“Cora…”
He murmurs the word, his voice sounding dazed, almost surprised, and the sound of my name on his lips awakens something in me.
The ember of attraction in my chest bursts into flame, heat blooming through my body and sweeping through my veins as I look up at him. My knees feel suddenly weak, my skin hot, my mouth dry. I can feel arousal washing over me, gathering between my legs, turning into an ache that threatens to overwhelm me.
My attraction to him doesn’t feel innocent anymore.
It doesn’t feel like a curiosity.
It feels like a need, something burning inside me, dragging me toward him like a magnet.
A moment ago, I was thinking about what I’d do and say when he let go of me, and now I only want him to hold me closer, as close as two people can possibly be, and never ever let me go.
“Druxik,” I whisper, his name springing to my lips without my meaning for it to.
It’s somehow the only word I can think of to say, the only response that feels right, and I see his pupils dilate as I say his name, his whole body tightening against me. I can feel every inch of him react to that simple word, and I realize with a dizzying flush of heat that he’s hard.