Realizing Yasmin was still waiting for an answer, Ariana hastily added, “I forgot it this morning.” That much was true. Phillip’s temper tantrum had frazzled her nerves. Her chest grew tight at the thought.
“I hear that a lot,” Yasmin said. “It’s only been a week. You’ll get used to wearing a ring that size.”
Will I? Ariana wondered.
Now in her early thirties, Ariana knew she should be overjoyed at her engagement. Maybe only younger brides experienced giddy happiness. She and Phillip had been dating off and on for years. As many of their friends married, he’d become more serious about their relationship.
I’m ready for a family now, he’d told her one morning as if an alarm on his cell phone had gone off. Although she’d wanted a family, too, she’d remained noncommittal. Until her pregnancy test came back positive.
Phillip often talked about how she could provide costumes for his films. Working together, they’d be a Hollywood power couple. This is what she wanted, right?
“Are you free for lunch today?” Yasmin asked. “I’ve love to hear all about your wedding plans. A friend of mine married at an incredible castle in France, but she’d considered a lot of venues. I can put you in touch with her.”
“I can’t today. I have another meeting.” Ariana returned the necklace to the velvet-lined tray on the French desk before her. She couldn’t face another deluge of questions.
Yasmin’s eyes widened. “You have to do something amazing. That enormous ring just screams big wedding plans.”
“We’re planning something small and intimate.” And fast. Not that being pregnant on your wedding day was the issue it would have been in her grandmother’s day. Still, Ariana was old-fashioned. Her pulse raced, just thinking about the wedding. Without her mother there, the event was already fraying at the seams.
“You’ll reserve this necklace for me?” Ariana asked, needing to exit this conversation.
“Will do.”
“Thanks. I’ll see myself out.” Ariana hurried past the security guard.
As Ariana emerged into the bright California sunshine and the sound of traffic, the reality of her future gnawed at her. Los Angeles—or most any city where she could make her living—was a busy metropolis.
After her parents divorced, Ariana shuttled between boarding school and her great-aunt Ruby’s home in Palm Springs. While her friends flew home to extended families, Ariana often felt lonely without her mother. If not for Ruby, and Stefano, her aunt’s devoted houseman, she would have had a miserable childhood.
Phillip allayed that loneliness with his presence. And when they had children, she’d finally have the family she craved.
On the sidewalk outside the jewelry store, Ariana started for the garage where she’d parked. Cutting through the crowded walkway, Ariana recalled how she used to spend a few weeks in the summer in New York with her mother. Even then, she felt like a burden. Mari told her that to make it on Wall Street meant working harder than every man around her. As a result, Ariana often had dinner with the housekeeper.
As Ariana grew older, her visits to New York grew shorter. She spent the long hot summers in Palm Springs with Ruby—or wherever Ruby was. Sometimes her aunt was filming a series in Los Angeles or performing on the dinner theatre circuit across the country. They’d have pajama parties at the Drake Hotel or tea parties at The Huntington. Aunt Ruby loved to work, but she always made time for fun with Ariana.
While Ariana waited on a corner to cross a busy street, she thought about her parents. Her father had a second family and hadn’t contacted her in years. And when Ariana had called her mother with the news about the wedding, Mari’s reaction disappointed her.
“Two weeks? Oh no, you’ll have to postpone it if you want me there,” Mari had said in her brittle, business-like voice. “You should have planned farther ahead.”
Ariana heard no excitement or apology in her mother’s voice. “That’s the only date available at the church until next year.” It was a small church, but perfect for the intimate ceremony Ariana wanted.
“Then find another venue,” Mari retorted. “I’ll have my new assistant check my calendar and give you some dates. Six months out, at least, I should say.”
Once again, Ariana’s time with her mother was dictated by someone else. “Mom, Phillip wants to get married now.” She didn’t mention why.
“Come back east,” Mari said. “If you’re determined to do this, maybe I can fit in a weekend. I’ll have to cancel an event, of course. My assistant can—”
“Check your schedule. I know.”
Her mother’s brittle voice crackled over the line. “You can’t expect me to shift my schedule due to your lack of planning. And you know how I feel about marriage. I honestly don’t know why you feel the need to possibly destroy your life.”
“Maybe you’re right.” Ariana tried not to let on how hurt she was. Still, she felt like screaming, even though she knew from experience that would be futile.
Would her mother have come if she’d told her she was pregnant? No, that wouldn’t have made a difference. Likely, that news would have generated another lecture on Ariana’s failure to protect herself.
* * *
Now, as Ariana wove through the throng of tourists on Rodeo Drive, she felt her chest constrict, and her pulse quicken. With her heart pounding, she hurried up a flight of concrete stairs to her car. A flush of heat blazed on her neck, and she pushed back her hair. By the time she reached her car, she’d broken out in a cold sweat.
She attributed this sudden attack to fluctuating hormones. However, she’d had intermittent episodes for at least a couple of months before her pregnancy.
Ariana slid into her vintage MGB convertible—which she’d probably have to trade for a practical mom-car—and fumbled open the thermos bottle she kept there. After taking a long swig of water, she drew measured breaths until she felt her heartbeat slowing. She rested her head against the steering wheel and kept breathing. In, two, three. Out, two, three.
In her purse, her phone rang, and she dug it out. “Hi, Phillip.” She tried to keep the distress from her voice.
“Babe, glad I caught you. There’s this thing—big producer in town from New York with his wife. They want to meet us. You’ll have to leave right now.”
She caught her breath. “Phillip, I’m working.”
“You sound like you’ve been running,” he said. “Take the rest of the day off. Kingsley will understand.”
She’d never thought to put those two words together. Her boss wasn’t a man known for being understanding about anything. Kingsley once berated a woman for missing work to take her little boy to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy. Wasn’t there anyone else you could get to do that?
“Phillip, I’ve already taken time off to select Solani Marie’s jewelry. And I still have to fix the sleeves on her outfit.”
“Don’t you have an assistant to do that?”
She did, but that was beside the point. Phillip didn’t ask her to drop everything for him. He expected it. And her boss, Kingsley Powers—what kind of parents strapped a kid with a name like that?—wasn’t understanding. Quite the opposite. She’d come under increasing pressure from him. What Ariana had always found relaxing—designing, sketching, draping, and even sewing fine stitches by hand—was now a source of anxiety.