“Theo?” I asked from the doorway.
He flinched as if I’d startled him, then turned my way.
I walked over and took his hands. “How are you? Do you need anything?”
He brought my hands to his chest. “I’m fine. Simply enjoying the quiet.”
I looked into his eyes, large in his narrow face. He seemed young and old at the same time. There was a weariness to him that hadn’t been there before the war. But I remembered it from when he was a child. He’d been the one to find our mother. She’d been mentally ill and had gone outside on one of the coldest nights of the year and had frozen to death. For years after that, Theo had been quiet and haunted. I could still remember the smudges under his eyes. They’d gone away when Mama Quinn had come to us. Now, though? I wasn’t sure anything could bring back the old Theo. I’d woken in the night to hear him crying out in his sleep, followed by the soothing tones of Flynn.
“When I was away, it became impossible to imagine that any place could be this tranquil.” Theo let go of my hands and walked over to the fire. “I wasn’t sure we’d ever get back here.”
“Do you regret enlisting?” He and Flynn had told the recruiter they were eighteen when they’d not yet turned seventeen.
“I couldn’t let Flynn go without me. It would have been worse for me to worry about him than be there too.”
“It’s over now. You’re home where you belong.”
“It’s not completely over.” He tapped his temple. “Not here, anyway.”
“Oh, Theo, don’t say that. You’ll forget, won’t you? Over time?” I regretted it as soon as it was out of my mouth. He shouldn’t have to pretend for my sake.
“Yes, of course.” Theo grabbed a log from the stack and tossed it into the fire. His tone betrayed his words. He didn’t believe for one moment that he would ever forget. I’d seen him pretending to be fine for Mama’s and our sisters’ sake many times since he’d come home. I knew him almost as well as I knew myself. Something had broken in him over there.
Flynn rushed in, flushed from the outdoors and yanking off his coat. He rarely slowed down these days. In addition to working long hours on the ski area, he spent a lot of time in the barn with the horses, taking the sleigh out for long drives, teasing the girls, playing chase with Delphia. Sometimes I wondered if the demons would catch up to Flynn when he slowed down long enough to think. Would he have the same haunted look in his eyes as Theo? Or would he always outrun the ghosts of that horrible war?
Last summer and fall, the twins had begun work on their ski lodge and clearing part of the northern mountain for ski runs. Although they were partners, it was more Flynn’s dream and passion. Like the war, Theo would not let him go it alone.
“Just the two people I wanted to see,” Flynn said.
“Here, give me your coat,” I said. “I’ll hang it in the closet for you.”
“Thank you, dear sister.” He kissed my cheek.
My heels clicked on the hardwood floor as I crossed into the hallway. By the time I’d returned, my brothers had poured themselves tea and helped themselves to one of Lizzie’s scones.
“Jo, sit down with us,” Flynn said. “Let’s talk.”
I did as he asked. “I have nowhere to be today.” I’d recently hired someone to staff the library a few days a week, freeing me up to concentrate on procurement. In the years since I’d first secured funding from Carnegie, I’d been busy, but now I didn’t have as much to do. No man to write to. The library was up and running. Mama didn’t really need help with the little girls. Fiona and Cymbeline were nearly grown and fully ensconced in their studies and their friends. There were days I felt somewhat useless.
I poured myself a cup of tea and settled back into a corner of the couch. “What are you two doing today?” They were dressed in wool jackets and knickers.
“We’re taking Papa up to the mountain to show him the ski runs,” Flynn said. “Now that the snow has finally come, we want to show him how the pulley system works.” When they’d skied in Europe, they’d studied systems for pulling people up the mountain. Theo, always clever with engineering, had repurposed abandoned mining equipment into the rope pull that would take the skiers to the top. All they had to do was hold on to the rope and let the machine do the rest. “He wants to try out the slopes himself.” I smiled at the pride in his voice. Flynn, of all of us, craved Papa’s praise. Not elusive to any of us, of course. If anything, Papa admired us a little too much. According to him, there wasn’t anything his Lucky Seven couldn’t do.
“I can’t imagine why anyone would want to put sticks on their feet and slide down a mountain,” I said.
“Jo, you won’t believe how much fun it is,” Flynn said. “We can’t wait for you all to learn.”
“What about you, Theo?” I asked. “Did you fall in love with it as much as Flynn?”
“I did. Not that I was challenging Frenchmen to races like my brother.”
“Cymbeline will be doing so the moment she masters the skis,” I said.
“That’s my sister,” Flynn said. “I’m so proud of her.”
“Delphia’s going to be just as bad,” I said. “Yesterday at the pond, she ran into a boy and kissed him.”
“That child scares me a little,” Theo said.
“She’s a rascal,” I said. “Wild. Like you and Cymbeline.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Flynn grinned before taking a large bite of scone.
Theo set down his teacup. “Are you going to the festival with anyone, Jo?”
“You mean with a man?”
“Is that such a strange idea?” Flynn asked.
“I’m not interested in any of that,” I said. “There’s no one who could hold up to Walter.”
“You knew him such a short time,” Theo said softly. “Don’t you think it’s time to move on?”
“I’ve moved on.” I prickled with defensiveness. “I have my work.”
“You don’t appear to have moved on.” Flynn spoke in his gentlest tone, which softened me somewhat.
“What am I supposed to act like? Running after every eligible man in town? Acting silly and ridiculous? I had true love, and now I’m going to devote myself to my work.”
Theo cocked his head to the side, obviously trying to soften what came next. “Two weeks doesn’t seem like enough time to know if you love someone or not.”
“They were the best two weeks of my life.” I stopped talking, afraid I would start to cry. “He was just everything I ever wanted. Smart and funny. He made me laugh, and you know how I barely have a sense of humor.”
“Not true,” Flynn said. “You’ve been laughing at me my whole life.”
“At you, brother, is different from with you,” Theo said.
“We would be married now if he hadn’t died,” I said, ignoring their obvious effort to make me smile.
“But Jo, he didn’t formally propose,” Flynn said. “Or ask Papa.”
“We didn’t like that,” Theo said.