I moved over to the right a bit in the tub, just in case she had a change of heart. After all, who didn’t love bubbles?
“Hon, you know it’s weird to offer to share your bath with someone, right?” asked Dana, cracking the door open a smidge. “Tell me you don’t do that for everyone.”
“That would be ridiculous,” I said with a small snort. “Your tub is big but not big enough for everyone. Geesh, Dana.”
“Yes, because I’m the ridiculous one here.” She sighed and shut the door.
Jack, who was standing behind it, grunted as he still faced the corner. “I personally thought your Pretty Woman bit was spot-on and incredibly timely, considering you’re in a bubble bath in a swanky flat.”
“Aww, I’m surprised you got it. Secret fan of romantic movies?”
“Not-so-secret fan of Julia Roberts,” he said with a suggestive laugh. “She’s hard not to develop a crush on.”
Dana opened the door a bit again. “I didn’t hear you, Marcy. What did you say?”
“I was talking to Jack,” I confessed with a small bubble-filled wave.
Dana murmured something about me and being crazy. “Jack…isn’t he the spider you found in there the last time you were here? You know, the one you refused to let me kill?”
“She thinks I’m a spider that lives in her bathroom?” asked Jack, sounding offended.
“At least she’s showing an interest in who you are,” I said to him, earning me a confused grunt from Dana. “No. Jack is not the spider. The spider was named Eunice. And the spider was very happy you didn’t kill him. He was able to reproduce and become a father. I’m sure it was a very proud moment for him. Well, for like a nanosecond, because then he died and his mate ate him, which was sad, but such is the way of things sometimes with sex and nature and certain species within it. Wouldn’t it be kind of neat to be a female spider and kill your mate when you’re done with him in bed? Not sure about eating him though. You know how I am about meat. Sometimes I eat it and sometimes I can’t bring myself to put it in my mouth.”
Jack stiffened. “Tell me you’re joking about the mate thing and the eating them thing. I’m never actually sure with you.”
Dana pushed her head in more. “Are you saying I have more spiders in my apartment now?”
He pointed at her. “She didn’t even comment on you eating your mate after sex. And people think I’m a monster.”
“They do?” I questioned.
“Marcy,” said Dana, cutting through any more questions I had for Jack. “Do I have more spiders in my place?”
“Yes, you do have more spiders now. Isn’t that so sweet?” I asked. “They like it here so much the entire family stayed to live and carry on Eunice’s memory. We should maybe say a few words about him. I’ll go first. He was such a fast runner. He could scurry across anything at the speed of light.”
She expelled an annoyed breath. “Marcy, the last thing I want is a million spiders in my house.”
“Pfft, don’t be dramatic, Dana. There are only like two hundred or so from that batch. I mean, sure, they’ll have babies too at some point, and then their babies will have babies and so on, but a million? That will take a bit to get to. I swear, between that comment and the one about everyone getting in this tub with me, I’m starting to wonder about your math skills. Probably for the best you became a lawyer and not a mathematician.”
“I’m calling the superintendent and making him get an exterminator up here stat,” she said sternly. “The last thing I want is the movers packing up spiders to go with us to South Carolina.”
I stuck out my bottom lip. “But, Dana, they don’t take up much space and hardly eat anything—unless we’re talking about their mates after sex. I bet they’d love Grimm Cove. It’s wrong to deny them the chance to go there.”
She grumbled.
Jack snorted. “You’re not going to win her over with this. And she most certainly will have an exterminator brought in. When you left the last time, she came in here and tried to find Eunice to end him. She was armed with one of her Louboutins, so Eunice should have been flattered. The pair of shoes retail for around nine hundred bucks. She was willing to use half of that on him. Honorable death if you ask me.”
I gasped and sat up a bit more in the tub. “Dana, you tried to find and kill Eunice after I left last time?”
“Who told you?” Her brows met. “Was it Poppy? She swore to keep that a secret.”
“Poppy knew?” I asked, dismayed that my friends would band together to murder an innocent creature. “It’s like I don’t even know you two. What did Eunice ever do to you to warrant you hunting for him with a pump?”
“She can’t help it. Hunting is in her blood. Though it’s a nature-versus-nurture thing at play here.” Jack chuckled more and glanced back at me, only to snap his hazel gaze toward the wall once more. “Shit. Sorry.”
“I don’t care if you see me naked,” I said to him, unconcerned with the fact I was what society termed a plus-size woman. To me that meant there was more of me to love. “You should get naked too. It’s very liberating. I made room for Dana in here but she’s being a killjoy. That leaves plenty of room for you. Come on. The water is still warm, and the bubbles are so much fun. Say the word ‘bubbles.’ It will make you smile. It’s my go-to word when I’m feeling down or blue.”
He looked upward. “Seriously, Powers That Be, where was she when I was alive? Woman invites me to bathe with her and thinks we should walk around naked. And have you seen her?”
“Uh, Marcy, I roomed with you through college, so I’m very aware of your penchant for nudity,” said Dana, talking partially over him. “I’m keeping my clothes on. And I’m not having the bubble talk with you again. I know bubbles make you happy. It’s why I keep them on hand for when you visit. They act like a babysitter for you. Helps me know where you are and that you’re not trying to bring random stray people back to my apartment with you.”
“I haven’t done that in months,” I returned. “You should really try these bubbles. Come on, Dana. You need to relax more.”
“I’m not bathing with you. End of discussion,” she said.
“I always suspected this is what sexy women talk about when they’re alone together,” said Jack. “Good to know I was right. Are there any pillow fights happening here at some point?”
“Dana doesn’t like to have pillow fights. I used to try to get her to have them in college,” I said to him. “For the best, you don’t want to arm her if at all possible. Even with a pillow. She’s kind of deadly.”
“Uh, thanks,” said Dana.
“I was talking to Jack. He was hoping we’d have a pillow fight tonight,” I said.
Jack snorted and then grunted. “Never mind. I was having a laugh, and the more I think on it, the less I’m able to stomach the idea of picturing her in that manner.”
I’m not sure what he was talking about. Dana was a stone-cold fox, emphasis on the stone-cold part.
She exhaled loudly. “So your buddy is a perv? Good to know you’re naked in there with him.”