He was above me, and moving over me, and I felt that same touch between my legs.
I wanted him to sheath himself inside of me, thrusting in, all the way in, and then, just like that—I was yanked back, and out.
I was brought back to the vehicle, and Kieran was watching me from across the seat, a shrewd look in his eyes. Cold blasted me, not from the air conditioner, and I began shivering.
I was yearning again, but yearning to go back to what that was. I felt warm and desired.
Was that what he meant about it being sexual for others? HO-LEE-SHIT.
A carnal and primitive desire was lacing through me, and it was as if I’d been awakened. Every cell in my body was crying in protest.
I tasted my tears before I realized I was crying.
As I stared at him, he was merely watching me. That same look in his eyes.
Waiting. He was waiting for something. For me?
But not even a second later, I knew what he was waiting for.
A new hunger was rising in me. I could feel everything in my body. How my foot curved. The ligaments connecting each of my bones. The muscles. The tendons. There was more. My power. It was so deeply entrenched.
He’d been right.
I could feel it now.
And it was starving.
I gaped, only able to open and close my mouth like a fish.
I needed more. Just a little bit more.
I didn’t know what, though. More. That was it.
That power was its own creature. It was stirring, stretching. It needed to be fed.
That was me. In me. I had the power to feed its every desire.
He’d been dormant. He? No, she. My power was feminine, and she was hissing. I could feel her moving all my organs, seeking whatever she needed to be fed.
I was moving on the seat without knowing my own body. Writhing around. Curling into a ball, stretching back out, my arms yanking over my head. My toes pointed downwards. My stomach levitated upward.
My back with it, but hunching over in its own stretch.
I felt like I was performing six different yoga poses all at the same time.
“Please,” I gasped, my eyes watering as I stared at Kieran.
I didn’t know what I was asking for, or why I was asking him, but she had started to take control of me. Not me. Her. I had another whole creature inside of me—from that one forbidden taste of his energy—and she wanted him.
His eyes had darkened by now, molten.
“Please,” I rasped again.
“Your kind is only half human, and you’ve not been feeding your other side. Because of this, there’s a separation inside of you. You are almost two beings now. Human and her. You must feed to start merging again.”
I didn’t know what he was talking about, but I was hungry.
I wanted everything.
His energy. His body. I wanted human food too. Everything and anything. I just needed this feeling to be sated.
“What do I do?”
He continued to watch me, and he didn’t respond.
My body began moving toward him, but an invisible wall hit me back. No sounded loudly in my head. The voice didn’t sound like it came from him, though. It was a low roar, less powerful in its sound but equally as powerful in its determination to be fed.
Please, I said to that voice.
He is above your hunger. That’s like waking up as a child and being fed caviar for your first meal.
Caviar isn’t even good as a human, buddy. She took over again, growling, whimpering, and my body was flailing on the seat.
I need. Now.
She was back to roaring too.
I was starting to pant and sweat. The need for what she demanded was taking a toll on me. I was becoming blinded by the urgency of feeding the beast that I’d awakened.
“You cannot overcome me.”
“I’m not trying to. What do I need here?!”
A strangled cry ripped from my throat.
“You need to eat on energy, which you should’ve been schooled in when you were born. Your elders did not do their job for you, and now you must pay for the negligence.”
“No one eats energy in my family.”
“Bullshit. Every energist eats energy. If done properly, you can rid a human of their negative emotions. It can be a mutually beneficial relationship, but it’s too late for you to move into that type of relationship. I’ve never seen an energist so separated from their human form like I see in you. It’s fascinating.”
She hissed, rearing back, and she shot forward, trying to break through his wall.
NO!
That male roar again, speaking from inside of him this time.
I/she was slammed back, retracting as if I’d been burned.
“Your kind used to be used as sexual servants. They would be starved until they didn’t care who they fed on. They could be used for days and days, and if properly handled, they could reach a high that they’d never want to come down from.”
This was the warning I always knew could happen to my kind. I’d seen it happen. An uncle who never came home. A cousin who was whisked off by a vampire lord and we never heard from her again.
A shudder went through me, dampening some of the hold my creature had on me.
But she was still whispering in my head, Please, please, please. I knew he could hear her. She was speaking to him.
It was working.
He began looking over me, from head to toe, and I felt the same caresses that had happened when I touched his energy. They began again, touching the base of my spine. I gasped, pleasure coursing through me. They touched again, on the inside of my thigh, and I mewled in desire.
That felt so good.
What are you going to do with me?
Give in to me, I added in my head.
A tsking came from him, and it was mocking. If I give in to you, you will be addicted to me. You’ll follow me wherever I may go. The need will be too powerful for you to fight, and you’ll eventually die because you would have starved yourself. It would be my energy or no energy, and yes, this has happened to others of your kind. I had two energist lovers two centuries ago. Once I had my fill of them, they shriveled up and withered away because they wouldn’t touch another unless it was me.
My word. Ego, much?
He continued to watch me, but I felt his surprise, and his amusement. Even that seemed to surprise him.
“I’ve never had one of you be this starved and give me sass at the same time. Perhaps your human is strong inside of you.”
I stopped listening to him.
I needed to get back in control.
Images of him letting me loose on someone I didn’t want to be with horrified me.
I knew where this would go. I’d start eating their energy, but it would turn sexual and there was no one I wanted to be intimate with. Not like this. That would haunt me if he turned me on someone else…yet eating solely on his energy sounded completely out of the picture.
Though, I still wanted to, and just the thought was making me ache for him, but I was blaming those raging hormones on what he said. A starved creature was inside of me.
I couldn’t believe this was happening to me.
I’d never been helpless to my monster.
It was something I prided myself on.
Nikki had been at times. She gave into her demon and there’d been a few nights when we had to do something that we’d been ashamed about. It’s what happened when you were one of us. There were slip ups.
Except me. I never slipped up, but watching him, panting for him, feeling those same caresses from him all over my body, I could see it happening. My power wanted his power. That’s what was going on. She was begging for it, and he was starting to give in. I could feel the weakening inside of him.