“Uh, I don’t know. I want to think you don’t want anyone else but a part of me isn’t sure. I mean we’ve never kissed not even a peck or what not, so I have no clue what I’m doing. When I should be sure I want to go further and when it comes to you, I’m confused because as much as I want to admit I love you and want you to teach me, I don’t know how to do it.”
The air in the room becomes stifling as I look up to finally meet Nerd’s eyes with my tear filled ones.
Something flickers in his as he moves, “You just did, babygirl.”
Chapter Twelve
Nerd
Fuck if I ever expected this turn of events. My girl, the beautiful woman she is, who has come so far in overcoming the bullshit she went through, doesn’t know how to tell me what she wants.
Earlier tonight while sparring with Shadow and Cane, they’d both brought up something I found interesting. Now knowing the innocence that was taken from her, Cara only knows the violence of sex. Nothing else.
My brothers figured this out before I did and told me if I wanted to help my woman get over her fears and heal with a touch, I can give her. Teach her, show her not all men are violent, when it comes to sexual acts.
I’ve always had a sexual appeal to some of the world Shadow and Cane are connected to but I never went further than simple things. However, like my brothers both expressed, with Cara I’m going to have to feel her out and show her the dominance a man can have over her body without it scaring her let alone hurting.
From the ideas they gave me earlier, I knew once she was ready what I needed to do. I hadn’t; however, expected her to think I was cheating on her.
Men have needs.
Shit, everyone fuckin’ has needs.
My woman has them and simply doesn’t know how to express what she wants.
Inwardly grinning, I can’t help but think about the fun I’m going to have making her all mine in every way. Erase what those fuckheads did to her.
Climbing on the bed, I pull Cara into my arms until her front is pressed against mine and my forehead is touching hers. “Love you, babygirl,” I murmur.
“I love you too, Nick.” She didn’t have to tell me to know how she felt. It shows in the way she acts. In the way she trusts me. Granted she has insecurities like thinking I’d leave her here alone and go find someone to fuck. That shit’s not going to fly with me.
“Gonna kiss you now,” I inform her before pressing my mouth to hers as I wrap my arm around her waist.
I don’t intend to take it any further tonight but knowing how she feels and that she’s ready to take some steps forward, I’m not going to rush her. It’s her choice and I hope like hell that as I show her the way she’ll continue to choose me in helping her learn to enjoy what pleasure I can give.
Slowly, I explore her mouth, swiping my tongue along the seam of her lips, dipping between them as they part on a breathy gasp.
Plundering into hers, I groan at the way she tastes, peppermint. My girl has a thing for peppermint. The tea and candy are her addiction. I may like peppermint but tasting it on her I could grow mutual love for the flavor.
Cara’s tiny hands slide up my chest to the back of my neck and into my hair. Normally I’m not one for allowing a woman to wrap her fingers in the thick strands but they weren’t my girl. My babygirl. Everything about her is different and having her touch me like this means a fuck load to me and I’ll let her do whatever the fuck she wants.
Before our kiss can grow further on the hot and heavy, I pull away pressing my forehead back to hers. “Love the way you kiss,” I rasp.
“Um,” she whispers breathlessly.
“Gonna have to kiss you more often now that I’ve had a taste of that mouth, babygirl,” I state, letting her understand that this wasn’t a one and done time. I know with the way her head works right now I got to get her to understand everything we do from kissing to when I finally take her fully, I will always explain how much she means to me. That she’s not ruined for anyone and she sure as hell ain’t covered in filth.
“I think I would be okay with that.” Fuck me if the little sigh she lets out sends a twitch straight to my dick.
“Good, now it’s late and I need sleep. We’ve got church in the morning and I want you to come with me. Okay?” I did want her to. Over the past three months since she’s been home, she’s come to the clubhouse but hasn’t stepped inside yet. Normally, the ol’ ladies if they wanted to see her or even if some of the brothers swung by the house that’s how she spoke to everyone.
I wanted that to change.
“Uh, I . . .”
“You’ll be okay, babygirl,” I say stopping her from working herself up.
“Okay,” she nods in agreement.
“Yeah, that’s my girl. Now let’s go to bed,” I announce maneuvering us underneath the comforter. The entire time I keep her within my embrace.
“Love you, Nick,” she sighs burrowing her face further into my chest as I tighten my grip around her.
“Love you too, Cara, always.” With those words being said, I close my eyes and let sleep claim me knowing that tomorrow is a new day. One where my woman was ready to take a step closer to the future of us.
Might make me sound like a pussy but fuck if I care.
I got my woman and it feels damn good to be able to say that and not worry about whether or not she was going to break. Because now I know, if I show her the way, guide her through it, my babygirl will shine brighter than the sun itself.
“Get this, got a call from Boss this morning. Last night she and Omen were approached for an alliance by the Dragons Fire MC. According to Boss, she informed them they wouldn’t be getting anything from them and to get the hell away from them. However, Spark made a comment about it would be a shame for something to happen to Destiny.” The tension in the room grows tenfold when Stoney informs us of this news.
First thing this morning we’d gotten a text that we were having church within the hour rather than at noon. Something was up and it wasn’t good. I was right. It’s not good. Those fuckin’ dumbasses decided to play with the wrong fuckin’ kid.
I’d quickly showered and got Cara up so we could get to the clubhouse. I wasn’t about to give her an out in coming today. Besides I didn’t know how bad the news was going to be.
After hearing this I’m fuckin’ glad I didn’t leave her at home. Don’t care how good my security system is. Nothing is better than me standing in the way of something happenin’ to her.
“Shit,” Tracker mutters, drawing me back to the conversation.
“Yeah, now I got enough stress on my plate as it is. A kid I haven’t met and decisions to follow through with. I’m not about to have Destiny harmed in anyway. Nor am I going to allow my other kids to be hurt. Let alone my ol’ lady. Boss asked me to sign my rights over.” Stoney said.
“You’re not considering it are you?” Blaze asks.
“Honestly, I am. Boss and I, we’re good with an alliance between our clubs. But when it comes to personal shit, we don’t see eye to eye and I’m tired as fuck of my woman feeling hurt over it all,” Stoney grumbles, seeming to be hurting at this decision. “Deal is, Destiny will know I’m her father but that I signed my rights over to protect her. Without me being in her life, she’ll be safe. Especially with the shit coming at us here recently. Got too much to worry about here and not have to think about if my kid with a woman I didn’t even want to knock up is safe.”